'AITA for kicking my friend out for the comments he made about my girlfriend?'
"AITA for kicking my friend out for the comments he made about my girlfriend?"
So, I'm a 21/M. My girlfriend Ella (21/F) and I have been together for 5 years and recently bought a place and moved in together. I have a few friends who are around the same age as me, but the one mentioned in the title we'll call Caleb (21/M) Last night, we had a housewarming party and invited a few friends over.
I had invited Caleb and two other friends that I knew from high school, and Ella invited a few work friends. Of course, some drinks were had, but none of us, except for Caleb, drank more than one or two beers. After the night progressed, Caleb started making comments about Ella and her looks. I admit, she is a very pretty woman and always has been.
Caleb started commenting on her clothing, when she wasn't wearing anything revealing, just a skirt that was just above her knees and a long-sleeved sweater. He started asking things like how I 'managed to score someone like her.' I told him to cut it out, and he seemed to do so for a while. I'm not sure if its relevant, but the way Ella and I met as kids was because of behavioral problems after her mother passed.
She said that I was the first person who willingly decided to be around her since it happened. So I don't know if I see it as 'scoring.' About an hour later, Caleb's comments about Ella started up again. He was talking about how short she was, but then started commenting on her body. I quietly snapped at him to stop, and even the other guys were telling him that it's going too far.
It seemed that Ella heard his comments, because she went upstairs and changed into longer pants (Her sweater was pretty long already). When she came downstairs, I was pissed. Caleb had made her so uncomfortable in her own house that she felt like she needed to change. While using choice words, I kicked him out of our house.
His girlfriend came to pick him up and the party didn't last much longer. Ella later came to me and apologized for the trouble she caused and how she was dressed, and I told her that neither her nor her clothes were the problem, it was Caleb's sick comments. The next morning, Caleb's girlfriend called me asking what happened and after explaining, she was horrified.
Caleb had told her that Ella was coming onto him and I got mad. Caleb later told me I was an @$$hole for telling his girlfriend and kicking him out, since apparently, his girlfriend is rethinking their relationship. The guys are on my side, but a few of Caleb's family members are telling me that I should get Ella and her sl*^ty clothing in check.
Idk if I'm an AH for doing what I did, but with so many people are calling me one I decided to ask you guys. AITA?
The internet was quick to give OP feedback:
Stoat__King wrote:
NTA.
Obviously, Caleb is a giant AH.
But for me the worst bit in this whole sh#$show is this:
'a few of Caleb's family members are telling me that I should get Ella and her slutty clothing in check.'
'She was asking for it'. Ugh. The misogyny is real.
OrcaMum23 wrote:
'A few of Caleb's family members are telling me that I should get Ella and her slutty clothing in check.'
Why are you even giving them radio time?
Block them. It's clear where Caleb's prejudice came from. NTA.
s_adeas wrote:
OP YOU ARE NTA AND IF ANYBODY SAYS OTHERWISE THEY’RE THE AH!
You are the type of person girls WISH they can have. Someone who respects us and stands up for us even when it's their friends.
Your friend decided to drink probably one too many and got himself into a mess that nobody is wanting to help him get out of. The only people who want to help him are the ones who are probably hearing a totally different, and probably 95% false story, and think your friend is a victim. I’ll say it again. OP YOU ARE NTA.
soog0704 wrote:
NTA. Absolutely disgusting behavior from Caleb, good on you for defending Ella. Neither of you are in the wrong here. Caleb has shown his true colors and is never going to change. It's time to cut him out of your life.
NTA. It baffles me you’d even consider anyone but Caleb an AH. I think to me the worst part is the blatant lie he told his gf that made your innocent gf look bad.