Man sneaks a peak at friend's journal, panics when he sees himself labeled as 'prey.'
"TIFU reading my friend's journal and I can't see her the same way"
tatumfanatic
There's no easy to way to say this. I (23M) was at my friend's (27F) house working on a project together, we've been good friends for around a year and a half and go to graduate school together. I always felt that there was a spark between us.
We went out together for a few weeks unofficially when we first met but she then pretended like she wasn't into me after she met another dude while we were out together. I know we had something, once she met him and they hit it off she grew distant and then when asked denied ever being interested but I knew she just decided to go after someone better.
She was inviting me over to her place, cooking dinner with me, dancing with me, hanging out one on one, being super physical and flirty, I know it when I see it. I decided to move on since she was going after another dude, so I pursued other people, but we stayed good friends.
After I moved on she continued to be relentlessly flirty and touchy but I looked past the confusing behavior and just enjoyed the friendship. We work really well together, and I've been able to help with a lot of her projects in the past.
Anyway, So I was at her house this week working on a project in the living room, she goes to the restroom and I notice a brown journal on the coffee table that says "Gals burn book" marked with a heart (she lives with 3 other women, I think the fact that it was out in the open means it was a collective project).
She went to the restroom for a few minutes and I couldn't resist taking a peek inside, it was right out in the open so close to me and the heart made me curious about what was in it.
I know it was wrong of me to look at the journal, I can't excuse it. What I saw inside took me by shock. In it were dozens of names of nearly all the men in our program, mix of graduate and undergraduate students.
They were grouped into "Factions""Pray Faction", "Prey Faction" "Big Dummy Faction" "Predator Faction", and "Villain", among other categories. My name was listed under "Prey Faction" like this: Firstname Lastname (executed)
Immediately after my name was the name of another guy I know:
Firstname Lastname (successor)
I was stunned.
I've been racking my brain trying to figure out what this means, of course I can't ask her about it because I was in the wrong for peeking. But maybe it makes sense of my confusing experience with her when we met. She has a catalog of dozens of men, I was one of her "prey" to "execute" Somebody she could lead on but not take seriously.
The "Pray Faction" was all Christian Guys, the "Big Dummy Faction" was jock type dudes, and the "Predator Faction" was mostly guys who would be considered "Alpha", very confident and assertive. I know most of the people on the list and understand the "rationale" behind many of the groupings.
I'm not sure what to make of this. I feel embarrassed to be categorized with the "Prey", as though I'm just one of dozens of weak and friendly men. I also think it's strange that she and her friends are doing this kind of thing in their late 20s? You'd think this would be outgrown in middle school. Am I wrong to feel sort of dehumanized by being on the list as somebody she "executed"? It's pretty brutal.
I feel shitty for looking through the journal, just because its on the coffee table doesn't mean I have the right to look. But for the life of me, her feelings toward me never made a whit of sense and I wanted answers.
Edit: I want to clear up some misconceptions about this.
I discovered the journal on a coffee table no more than a foot away from me where we were working together on our project. She invited me to work on our project on the couch, It was literally right there in plain view of me.
She was sitting on the other side so she maybe couldn't see it. I'll admit that the heart on the cover gave me the inkling that it might be of personal interest, but it was a "Gals burn book" not a personal diary.
Almost certainly a project of all the girls in the house because of some of the names I recognized on it. I opened it wondering what it would be and was shocked that it was something so detailed and exposed. Something like that you'd expect in like a secret diary or something.
Some people wondering if this is a troll. Unfortunately not. It sounds like a bad fan fiction of mean girls; I didn't even know what a burn book was before this week. I wish it was a troll post.
For those wondering how I recognized the names on the list, like I said they were almost all dudes in the graduate program we both attend, which is not all that large. Maybe 80-90 names in all, across 6 different categories.
For those wondering how I was able to recall so much detail in so little time, once I realized what it was, I did take a picture of the page with the list of names. No, I will absolutely not be posting it because it would reveal my circle of friends and contacts.
I don't want anyone being harassed. And I also don't want this post being tied to me either. I could redact the names but the names are the whole point. Otherwise it's just category columns.
Some have suggested whether I was "meant" to see this when she left the room? That would be really disturbing, but I don't think so. This looks like a group project, probably absentmindedly left after dinner or something.
Despite the continuous flirting and mixed messages, she has been a kind friend. I have helped her with a lot of projects when she needed it, but we've also collaborated extensively and equally just as many times. It's not all one-sided me helping her. We know each other very well and have a natural connection in our work that is there regardless of past romantic feelings.
I'm not interested in a relationship with her, and I haven't been pursuing that for the past year because the hot and cold stuff wasn't worth my energy. To the extent I'm hung up on her, it's just because I find it bizarre how she pretends there was never anything there when my experience and some things I've seen happen are completely to the contrary.
At the very least, me being "Prey" means she was pursuing me in some way, whether sincerely or not, who knows. I can't really "ghost" her, as we are coworkers on important work projects as well outside of school. Can't really say more than that.
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
berniemax
You should write next to your name escaped and never talk to her again 😂
PugGrumbles
Please, please do this. For us!
Convergecult15
I wouldn’t be friends with someone that spoke about people that way, let alone about me.
SirToppemPrat
27? That sounds like the journal of a tween.
musicfan-1969
The answer is pretty obvious here....she's a vampire.
Stock up on garlic bro.