Woman makes 'clinic' joke after friend announces pregnancy, gets yelled at, cut off.

One of the best parts of joking with close friends, is the freedom to go hard in ways you wouldn't with a stranger.

Conversely, that's also one of the risks of joking with close friends - that you'll overestimate your friend's thick skin and accidentally cross a line and hurt their feelings.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she was wrong for making an abortion joke after her friend announced her pregnancy.

She wrote:

AITA for making a joke when my friend told me she was pregnant?

My friend Alice (fake name) (32F) and her husband have been trying for a baby for about 3 years. I (29F) am childfree but this has never caused a problem in my relationship with Alice. We would often joke about this difference, with me telling her stuff like she’ll miss all the disposable income when she has kids and her comparing my dog to a human kid.

Neither of us got offended with this joking and it was all in good fun. On Friday, Alice, a couple other friends, and I went out to lunch and Alice told us that she was 3 months pregnant. I jokingly said, “I’m so sorry. Let me know if you need a ride to the clinic.” Alice flipped out and called me an insensitive b#$%h. I told her that I was joking but she wouldn’t hear it and she ended up leaving.

She hasn’t responded to my texts and calls ever since. Our other friends are staying out of it and don’t want to give their opinions. I understand that my comment would come off as rude if I said it to a stranger but Alice knows me and this is how we joke with each other. AITA?

Commenters did not hold back on this one.

RibbitRabbitRobit wrote:

YTA. Not everything is a joke. She has tried for a baby for years and you couldn't give her a moment of earnest support and congratulations? This is exactly like people who get up and give attention-sucking, allegedly funny best man or MOH speeches at weddings or, worse yet, stand up with a jokey joke 'JK, not really objecting' objection.

FYI, if she has struggled with infertility for 3 years and you didn't hear about this pregnancy until 3 months, she's likely had miscarriages or chemical pregnancies you didn't know about. Even if that's not the case she has almost certainly spent the last couple months scared this pregnancy won't make it. Of all the jokes you could make, that one was the worst.

velvettea wrote:

They’ve been trying for three years and your first response is to joke to her about giving her a ride to an abortion clinic? They’ve been trying for three years! This joke was insensitive considering she may be petrified about miscarrying after trying for so long. Your jokes may have worked back them, but the circumstances have now changed. Apologize to your friend. YTA.

theassholethrowawa wrote:

YTA: That wasn't the time to joke. Your friend who has been trying for 3 years to have a child finally achieved their dream and shared that information with her closest friends. And the first words out of your mouth was a joke about terminating her pregnancy. You kinda showed what kind of friend you are because you couldn't be serious for one second to congratulate your friend.

pixie1947 wrote:

When did we stop saying 'Congratulations' when friends get what they hope for? When was it decided that we can make cruel jokes to our friends, because 'banter'? When did we collectively decide that others deserve to be shit on because their (perfectly legal and moral) wants don't match our own? And can we get to a place where this doesn't happen? Please?

Prior-Document-4128 wrote:

As a mother who had difficulty conceiving, I can say with certainty that if I were in Alice’s shoes, you would no longer be my friend. Period. That being said, you should STILL apologize and get her one hell of a baby shower gift (passed through a mutual friend) because damn it she deserves it. You have NO IDEA the anxiety you have likely induced in this poor woman.

My kids are teenagers and I’m having flashbacks to when I would check the toilet paper every time I wiped, and the multiple trips to the ER thinking I was miscarrying, and then the sheer relief seeing their little heartbeats on the screen.

I seriously want to call Alice and comfort her myself. I feel physically nauseous about this whole situation. You acted like an absolute @$$ and need to seriously work on yourself, because what you did is NOT okay.