I am a happily child free adult. Babies have always made me super uncomfortable. I don’t like looking at them, being in their presence, or really hearing about them. I used to have panic attacks if I had to be near a baby or toddler, even for a minute or two. If a baby or toddler touched me, I’d freak out and have to go wash off a few layers of skin.
I don’t know what caused such an intense reaction, but it’s always been like this. I’ve been working on at least being more cordial and tolerant with babies and toddlers to the point that I no longer have panic attacks. However, they still make me very uncomfortable and I don’t want anything to do with them.
I have a friend (we’ll call her Sally) who knows that I do not like babies and how uncomfortable they make me. Sally had a baby several months back. I was polite and congratulated her. Ever since, every so often, she’ll randomly message me about her baby.
She’ll start with “I know you don’t like babies, but…” and then send pictures of her baby, tell me about toys or clothes she bought for her baby, etc. I usually reply in brief messages like “Nice” or “Ok” and leave it at that. I don’t want to be mean, so I just give the minimal response. I delete photo’s immediately (usually our conversations too) cause I’m not interested.
Sally and I are not, nor have we ever been, close friends.
Recently, Sally posted in a group chat we’re both in asking for people’s addresses if they want to receive a Christmas card from her baby (that’s how she worded it). I figured if I didn’t fill out the document that would be an easy non confrontational way to ensure I would not be receiving baby pictures in the mail.
Unfortunately, Sally messaged me privately today asking for my address so she could send a Christmas Card; so my silent opt out is no longer an option.
Will I be the asshole if I tell her I don’t want a Christmas Card from her baby and to please stop sending me photos and updates about said baby?
Here's what people thought in the comments:
YWBTA. You don't even need to open the card. Use tongs to take it out of the mailbox and drop it immediately in the garbage.
Sally is being a little too obtuse about sharing her baby excitement, but this, literally and figuratively, is life. Sally could be lonely and struggling with the change of having a baby. Everyone has issues. It won't harm you at all to be polite.
She says she’s not that close to her. I’d turn round and say I don’t give my address out besides to close friends. Thank you tho.
NTA. A simple, 'no thank you' should suffice.
NTA , tell her 'I really appreciate the thought but please don't waste the card or postage on me as you know I have an aversion to babies.
While we're on the subject Sally.. I hope you don't take this the wrong way but i'd really appreciate if you didn't send me pics of your baby, it makes me a little uncomfortable- it's not that your baby isn't adorable and all that but again you know my issues.'
I don’t even know what to say. OP’s level of baby-phobia is ridiculous, so if it’s an actual condition they need treated for it because none of their behavior is normal and it’s not healthy to need to scrub your skin off if you touch a child