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'AITA for telling my DIL I'm not getting any Christmas gifts for her family?'

'AITA for telling my DIL I'm not getting any Christmas gifts for her family?'

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"AITA for telling my DIL I'm not getting any Christmas gifts for her family?"

I can’t believe I have to say this, but not everyone lives near a huge shopping area. I don’t even know where the nearest target is because it’s not close. Sometimes your options get really small really quickly with physical shopping. I am so tired of this, my DIL is extremely picky what goes into her home. It has to follow all of her rules.

Can’t be from a company she doesn’t support, basically no plastic, no overstimulating colors, no small pieces, no large toys since they take up too much space. I have tried time after time to get her something she will like, I have asked for lists but I never get any. I thought for my granddaughter’s birthday (4F) a few months ago I found the perfect wood train set.

Apparently not, it was too loud for them to play with. I tried to get her a nice knife set, no didn’t support the company. I don’t even know what was wrong with the company ( pioneer women knives). It was a decent set, not super high end. I reached my limit today, I got my granddaughter her own stuff for her Christmas trees in her room. I had permission to do this.

We went to shopping and she picked out her own light and ornaments. I bought what she wanted and it got set up. Well she saw the tree and was pissed, two much plastic on the tree. THEY ARE ORNAMENTS, I wasn’t buying glass ones the kid could break. I told her I was done, I am not getting any gifts for the family because she is impossible.

She called me a jerk and I just need to work harder. My son is mad at me for arguing with his wife.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Info: Did you know about the "no plastic" rule before this?

OP

They are ornaments, the options was glass or plastic. I don’t give two shits about the plastic rule when the 4 year old can grab the things and break them. That how you end up with a 4 years old bleeding in the home.

I have talked to my son, he stands by his wife even if he does think some rules are overboard. I guess I could try to make some out of clay but I am so over this. I am sick of jumping through 50 hoops to just do something nice for them, so I am done.

And then you'd get blamed for the kid hurting herself! You're in a no-win situation, your DIL is just trying to be the biggest pain in your a%$.

OP

I’m sure I would have heard all about it when one falls and she cuts up her little foot. Fuck or worse she tried to bite it or some shit and boom now I have grandkid with cuts all over her face. 4 year olds are not the smartest

Heloise_Morris wrote:

NTA. Stop trying to please someone who can't be pleased. Give your granddaughter a gift card to a store she likes and be done with it. Your son and daughter-in-law are rude, ungrateful and have unrealistic expectations. I would have started to give the the same treatment you receive and criticize every gift they give.

OP

Well she is 4, I don’t think that will work. On an upside she is four so I doubt she will notice if I don’t get her something or I will add money to her college account

Rude_Vermicelli2268 wrote:

Send a donation to a charity in the family’s honor and make a deposit into a savings account for your grandchild(ren). That way your DIL has nothing physical to complain about- because gift-giving isn’t a scavenger hunt. NTA.

Piaffe_zip16 wrote:

I just want to make sure I understand this correctly. She has previously asked you not to give things that are plastic. She’s had issues with plastic before. So you got ornaments that are made out of…plastic?? I’d be pretty frustrated too if I was your DIL, honestly. There are ornament sets you could order online that are wooden or stuffed animals. Glass or plastic weren’t your only options.

The nothing with small pieces is very reasonable with a young child in the house. No large toys makes sense because of the space they take up. For the companies she doesn’t support, I’d ask her for a list of companies she likes things from. If she won’t give you a list, just do a college fund.

My parents set up their own 529 plan for my daughter and then my ex also has one for her. I put any money I want to in the one my parents have. That’s a great option going forward until your granddaughter has more of a say.

HeirOfRavenclaw wrote:

NTA. She can’t impose so many restrictions and then not provide ideas for things she deems suitable. She sounds extremely difficult to want to interact with.

Eyes_and_teeth wrote:

NTA. You don't need to *try harder*. DIL needs to *try harder* not to be so insufferable. Don't be too hard on your son for taking her side; he has to live with the woman.

Sources: Reddit
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