'Ignored' daughter won't to go to sister's graduation: 'it makes me want to throw up.'
No parents are the exact same parents to every single one of their children.
Just ask seelys, who came to Reddit to ask:
'AITA (Am I the a-hole) for refusing to go to my little sister's highschool graduation?'
I (24f) and the oldest of 3 sisters (23f) and (17f). My middle sister has extreme disabilities that required pretty much all of my parents' attention as a kid. Time, money, and any extra resources were all given to my middle sister so that she could have doctor's, tutors, a special school, etc.
From the age of 5 I was pretty much left to raise myself, and when my youngest sister was born, I pretty much raised her too.
I struggled a lot in high school as I also have a mild version of my sister's disability (but it was ignored since hers was much more severe). My parents did not help me at all, they ignored my concerns about my grades, rejected my request for a tutor, and did not seem to care at all that I was pretty much failing.
I did not even have time to study on my own as much of my life at home revolved around taking care of my sisters.
I managed to graduate and immediately took a retail job that I am still at today. My youngest sister graduates this weekend and my parents asked me to attend. The thought literally makes me want to throw up.
By the time my youngest sister hit highschool, my middle sister no longer lived at home, and she was on state benefits. That meant my parents suddenly had all the time and money in the world which they used to get my youngest sister in an amazing, private highschool.
They gave her tons of support and she is graduating with honors and has an offer to attend an ivy league college. It may be childish, but I do not feel like it is fair at all.
I don't hold a grudge against my sister, and I have sent her a graduation card, but the thought of sitting through a whole ceremony and hearing my parents talk about all of her accomplishments is too much.
They are extremely upset about the fact that I said I won't go. I haven't talked to my sister yet, but I assume she will be upset as well. AITA (Am I the a-hole)?
Here's what Reddit had to say...
LiminalEvening comments:
ESH (Everyone sucks here). What about going to the ceremony but sitting separately from your parents? Skip the meal/celebration after, but show up for your sister.
vron987 says:
NTA (Not the a-hole) sorry you went through this. Your parents sound awful. I would not blame you at all for not going. I think there are a lot more important ways to show someone you care about them than showing up for one day, and if she’s going to college high school graduation won’t be that important to her. I can’t remember who came to mine.
You cooould go separately and not sit with your parents and leave after you hug your sister and give her flowers, and you could ask to take her out for lunch another day to celebrate, have a talk with her about this. It sounds like you helped raise her to be the person she is, and get her to this point.
You should be proud of yourself and everything you’ve accomplished, and if not sitting next to people who abused you listening to really triggering conversation is something that will protect you and your mental heath you should skip it!!
KronkLaSworda writes:
NTA at all. You were dealt a s#!t hand, forced to raise yourself, and then are asked to be happy to watch the privileged child graduate and have your nose rubbed into all of the support and love that she got and you didn't. Welcome to my world. It sucks and it hurts like hell. Don't let anyone tell you different.
MerlinBiggs agrees:
NTA. Why would you want that all rubbed in your face. It's not too late for you to go to college. Maybe if you let them know that they'll finally do something for you.