Man refuses to leave gym after woman tells him he's 'intimidating,' she leaves. AITA?
A full gym can be a major pain to navigate, but a nearly empty gym can feel downright creepy.
In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a man asked if he was wrong for not leaving the gym after a woman asked him to. He wrote:
"AITA for not leaving the gym after a woman was intimidated by me?"
I (26m) work a job in a remote location. I stay at a camp with around 600 people. There is an attached gym that is a 5-minute walk from my room. It is a decent size gym with basketball courts and two weight rooms and a track upstairs. I had the day off so I went to the gym to kill time. When I went to the gym there was 1 other person that I saw. We were both in the weight room.
After I finished my second set of my first exercise she came over and told me that she felt uncomfortable being alone in the gym with a guy and asked if I would leave. I told her I would go to another part of the gym but thought it was unreasonable to ask me to leave. She gave me an annoyed look and left the gym.
I had already started and didn’t want to stop and come back later. On the other hand, it’s only a 5 min walk to my room so it would have only been a minor inconvenience for me to leave and come back later since she was there first.
The internet didn't hold back.
SpaceJesusIsHere wrote:
So, maybe I'm not an expert in intimidation, but when I'm intimidated by, or afraid of, someone, I don't walk up to them when we're alone and tell them to leave a public space because I said so. That's the behavior of a person displaying confidence and self-assurance. You know, the literal opposite of intimidation.
NTA. And for the record, peoples' insecurities and fears are their own responsibility to manage. She doesn't have more of a right to a public space than you do.
CheckIntelligent7828 wrote:
NTA. Generally I think men need to be aware of their actions as they relate to scaring women, but this is not that. Had you hit on, started a conversation with, or otherwise gotten in her space then this might be on you. But it's unrealistic for her to think she deserves the entire gym to herself while you're minding your own business. I wonder what she does on elevators?
Spare-Valuable8031 wrote:
NTA. She wasn't intimidated, she just wanted to be alone. I can assure you as a woman that when I feel intimidated or unsafe, I DO NOT approach the person making me feel that way.
AioliNeat640 wrote:
NTA she is honestly so stupid. If she is afraid she would leave and make sure that you are not following her, or she would start a video call or something with a friend.
If she was scared of being ass*ulted the last thing she should do is tell the person she believes will assault her, "I want you to leave because I think you're going to ass*ult me since we are alone and it would be so easy for you to do it. So instead of ass*ulting me now that I am super close to you could you leave."
Complete_Past_2029 wrote:
NTA, her comfort level is not your concern. I'm assuming you're not giving her glances/staring at her or trying to chat her up form your description of events. You are just working out as is she, if she's not comfortable then next time she should bring a friend.
OP is NTA, if this woman was really intimidated - she likely wouldn't have approached him in the first place.