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Woman asks if she's wrong to only give out Halloween candy to kids from her HOA.

Woman asks if she's wrong to only give out Halloween candy to kids from her HOA.


We live in a decent sized town, and every year hundreds of kids come to our small neighborhood from elsewhere. They come because people in our neighborhood give out the better candy, baked goods, etc. Pretty much every house also has extensive Halloween decorations, and several do haunted houses.

The kids in our neighborhood are all pretty well behaved, but we've had issues with kids from outside of the neighborhood being rude, stealing decorations, taking candy from younger kids, etc.

Our neighborhood is 24 houses and we have a HOA that pretty much everyone participates in. Its not some crazy HOA like you might read in some posts. We throw parties, bring people food when they're sick, etc. It's expensive to buy so much candy, I usually do gift baskets, and last year I ran out before all of my neighbors kids could come to my house.

I wanted to make sure all my neighbors' kids got a basket this year, so I made a sign that says 'candy only for kids living in the Rosewood Hills neighborhood.' That I planned on putting at the end of the driveway. I dont want my neighbors' kids as well as kids from outside of the neighborhood coming to my door, and giving one kid a piece of candy and a different kid a gift basket.

Besides, I feel like kids from outside of the neighborhood can just trick or treat in their own neighborhoods.

At the HOA meeting when we went over suggestions for dealing with all the decoration stealing and other issues I mentioned I made a sign, and I showed it to other people. A lot of people thought it was a good idea, and I'm making about a dozen other signs for neighbors who asked.

A few people didn't like it, and Karina suggested we not do that and to hire an off duty police officer to sit in the neighborhood and deal with kids who steal. She thinks we should just put up with any other bad behavior. Karina and I argued a lot about it, but most of the neighborhood is on my side and are tired of these kids ruining Halloween for a lot of people.

Last year I had older kids stomp my pumpkins, entitled parents demanded they get a gift basket too, almost everyone had decorations get stolen, I had kids cuss me out and step in my flowers. All of the kids doing it did not live in the neighborhood.

AITA for not backing down and arguing with Karina about putting up a sign?

Questions, answers and comments:

Minute_Box3852 says:

Nta, we're dealing with the same and its getting way out of hand. Listen folks, we're all adults. If one neighborhood decides members only, you go elsewhere. One neighborhood isn't your only option. I'm tired of this current insane sense of entitlement.

Take your kids elsewhere. It is not hard. There are plenty of other options. Believe it or not, they will be OK.

AITACandyz OP responded:

Yeah that what I’m thinking, like, whether or not you get candy from my house shouldn’t make or break your Halloween

sawdeanz says:

Oh man, handing candy out to hundreds of kids is my favorite part of Halloween, especially the less fortunate kids that come from neighborhoods that don't have good trick or treat participation.

YTA - just give out regular candy to everyone or don't at all. Segregating kids from other neighborhoods and giving the rich kids gift baskets and kicking out the poor kids is just heartless and making more trouble for you then it's worth.

AITACandyz OP responded:

Part of the problem is even the families with young kids act really badly. They never say thank you, or even trick or treat. And I’ve had parents demand baskets for themselves. Last year I even had one kid give me a dirty look and say “there better be something good in this basket” these people just kill the fun in Halloween for me

iggywhipple says:

YTA. A lot of kids live in neighborhoods that don't really do trick or treating, so they have to go somewhere else to do it. Have you ever gone trick or treating in an apartment complex? At best, it is depressing, at worst, no one is giving out any candy. Obviously that is not your problem, but it makes me sad that you have an opportunity to spread joy to a lot of kids, and your instinct is to restrict it.

I don't blame you for being upset about the vandalism. However, if you put that sign in your driveway, you are going to make yourself a target.

AITACandyz OP responded:

There’s no rules against giving out Halloween candy in an apartment complex, so why couldnt you do it? To me it’s less about where the kids live anyways, and more about the fact that the kids are incredibly poorly behaved, and often times their parents are as well. It’s not fun for me to get cussed out at least one every year, and have my stuff stolen and broken.

Western-Radish says:

YTA why are you gatekeeping Halloween? Halloween is MORE fun when there are a ton of kids around.

Also, I grew up in a college town. I actually didn’t know until I was in my late twenties that you had to do something special to get rid of your pumpkin because every pumpkin I ever had got smashed. It never even occurred to me that this was not the way all pumpkins were disposed of.

ONE YEAR they didn’t get smashed and we smashed the pumpkins in the street. Which was a lot of fun, I can see why drunk uni students did it. The only time we got upset was when someone smashed our pumpkins before Halloween… that’s just rude.

You sound way too uptight for a madeup holiday that celebrates scary stuff and mischief.

AITACandyz OP responded:

I think it’s disrespectful to go into someone else’s property for destroying their things without asking, and then I have to go through my yard picking up pumpkin pieces. Of course it’s impossible to pick up them all so then I have rats in my yard the next day.

Flahdagal says:

You have your points, but really, YTA. I lived in a 'Halloween Central' neighborhood for years and loved it so much. So many kids, so many families, so many houses that went All Out with the decorations, so much happy noise and excitement. Scrap the gift basket idea and just hand out candy -- spread as much joy as you possibly can.

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