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Woman snaps at husband over lackluster Mother's Day, he says 'you're ungrateful.'

Woman snaps at husband over lackluster Mother's Day, he says 'you're ungrateful.'


We all want to feel appreciated, and oftentimes it doesn't take much.

A simple word of affirmation, a small card, some flowers, or a coffee date will suffice in showing care and appreciation. This is why it stings extra hard when someone is resistant or neglectful about doing the bare minimum.

When you've been living in a dynamic of resentment and neglect long enough, it can lead to an emotional boiling point.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she was wrong for snapping on her husband because of his lack of Mother's Day effort.

She wrote:

AITA my husband says I was being ungrateful for his Mother’s Day efforts. I say that there was almost no effort?

My husband is my kids’ (11f, 14m) stepdad. He’s been with me since they were 4 & 7. Mother’s Day comes. I get up first to make coffee. Husband gets up an hour later and little by little kids get up. By 10 am, I’ve gone to the gym and we are doing yard work. 14 year-old took his headphones off long enough to ask me when I was running him to a friend’s grad party later.

At one point, about 9, I had mentioned to him the kids hadn’t even acknowledged Mother's Day at all, so he went into the 11-year-old's room to tell her to make me a card (apparently). He did get me flowers on Friday. And chocolate-covered strawberries and a mini cake. I would like to point out now that I’m diabetic.

And not only that, he has told me that my lack of care for my diabetes (I hadn’t been maintaining my sugar at all- trying to get on track), my diet, and my weight have been making him feel completely disrespected because it’s important his partner care for herself. By 10 am I was putting yard waste in a bag and he asked me what was wrong. I told him that no one had acknowledged the day at all.

His exact words were “did you seriously need me to actually say the words?” And it was said in a very angry tone. Then he’d gone on about how my daughter was drawing a card as we speak and how he tried to make the day special when he got me flowers and the s**t I wasn’t supposed to eat on Friday.

Later, I send the 14-year-old to walk to Walgreens to get a card for his friend’s graduation party and a Mother's Day card for his grandmother- he does NOT bother to get me a card.

The day before husband took 11 year-old to the mall for something to do during a power outage- didn’t get me a card etc. Later I made a comment at dinner with my mom and brother “look, my BROTHER got me a card” and he was pissed and made a quiet reply “you seriously needed me to get you a card.”

He says I’m being ungrateful for their earlier efforts. I see it as zero effort. I have also told him point blank very plainly that there are four days a year that yes, I expect a card: Valentines Day, Anniversary, Mother’s Day, and my birthday. We also had this exact fight last year. Am I really being unreasonable and ungrateful? AITA?

People were quick to weigh in.

Ok-Context1168 wrote:

You're ungrateful for what? Getting flowers two days before Mother's Day, no simple acknowledgement to wish you a HMD, not getting a card when you previously told him you expect one, then his passive-aggressive questions ('you seriously need me to...'). Nope NTA. Husband is.

i_need_vodka_now wrote:

Is this what you want for the next 10 years? 20? Is this the relationships you want for your children to have with you in the future? You are showing them how to treat you and future partners. You are doing that by allowing this man to model this behavior in front of them. He isn’t going to change. That leaves you to do it.

Insolve_Miza wrote:

I'm gonna abstain here. But I find it weird you complain about them not getting you a card, then you send your son off to get a card for your mother…shouldn't you do it yourself? Seems hypocritical.

softandflaky wrote:

ESH. You're unhappy because the MD gifts you got weren't good enough, and that your husband and kids weren't fawning over you for Mother's day? Also, your husband sounds like a passive-aggressive a**hat You both honestly sound like a miserable couple.

tuvar_hiede wrote:

YTA. You're an adult. Stop harping on not getting mothers day attention. It's just a made-up holiday that's there to benefit the card companies imo. Besides, are you his mom? FFS just return the favor on father's day and move on.

It's pretty clear that the only thing everyone in this comments section can agree on is that OP and her husband are miserable.

Sources: Reddit
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