Man tells sister he won't feed her kids unless the vegan one changes her diet. AITA?
Healthy food for children is a no-brainer, but finances don't always allow for it.
One man was happy to help his sister who was struggling financially. Her four kids made the job of parenting costly and so he wanted to help. But he was fed up with feeding one of his sister's kids expensive food. One of her four children decided to go vegan.
While he has nothing against veganism, the expense is significant in the country they live in; especially considering their already tight budget. He feels the cost of specialty food for one of the children is taking food out of the mouths of the other siblings. He wants to cut of financial help if they won't eat cheaper food.
"AITA for refusing to help my little sister until my niece stops being vegan?"
My sister has 4 kids Maria (16f), Liam (16), Willow (13), and Teddy (10). My sister made some really bad choices that led to her being disowned by our parents and left her very poor.
Another thing to know is that she absolutely spoils Maria. We live in a country where special vegan items (vegan meat, etc) cost 3x more than normal food. However we have many plant based dishes that are absolutely vegan friendly. But my niece won't eat them (forgot to make that clear).
Maria decided to become vegan when she was 14 and she demanded my sister buy her special vegan stuff. This meant much nicer things for her, while my other nephews and niece and have eat worse food.
I usually send food any time there is anything extra left over and usually lend her some money. When Maria became vegan and Liam told me about what they were eating, my family and I started sending some sort of meat dish to them 2x a week but I also stopped lending my sister money.
My sister finally got upset with me on Friday and asked why I stopped helping her financially and only send nonvegan food because its making Maria upset. I told her that it is actually because of Maria. I told her that unless Maria stops being vegan and she stops spoiling Maria I wouldn't help her.
She hasn't talked to me since then and I'm wondering if I'm the AH. Forgot to add: The rest of her kids are eating what is to equivalent of a slice of pizza and a bowl of cereal without milk per day if I don't help out.
I'm not mad my niece is vegan (my own son is), I'm mad she's basically draining most of my sister's funds. As I said, I live in a place where veganism isn't very common, things like soy milk and pound by pound veg meat isn't available here.
Here is what people had to say:
NTA. She is favouring her vegan daughter at the cost of her other kids.
This. It's easy to say that OP shouldn't have an issue with the girl being vegan, but when the cost of that food is making it so her siblings are barely eating, that's an issue. OP's sister can't AFFORD to spoil her daughter in this way.
She can make her cheaper vegetarian dishes instead of hurting the rest of her children. Or the girl can get a job and start buying her own food.
Vegan food is NOT inherently more expensive. It's only more expensive if buying processed meat substitutes and lots of harder to source items. The problem is not Maria's vegan diet, it's that they are choosing more expensive items.
NTA, but you should really formulate this better. If I read correctly, you don't care your niece is vegan, you care that her veganism is draining the family financially.
NTA. She's favoring one child by supporting an expensive diet when it isn't necessary (replacement meat isn't necessary). You're just trying to balance the scales.
I think you worded it poorly. Maria doesn't 'have to stop being vegan' she just needs to use the cheaper vegan options so there is enough money left for food for the other kids.