18 doctors and patients share the funniest thing someone said under anesthesia.

Coming out of surgery can make people make ridiculous, YouTube-worthy observations, but doctors get a front row seat to the 'are you a centaur or my mom?' show...

So, when a Reddit user asked anesthesiologists of the internet, 'what was something you won’t forget hearing from someone that was under?' doctors and patients everywhere were ready to share the funniest, weirdest, or most memorable anesthesia-induced rants.

1.

Am an anesthetist. Woke up a 70-year-old patient who got a penile prosthesis implant for erectile dysfunction. First thing out of his mouth in his post surgery stupor was to request a private room and find out when he could 'take this baby out for a test drive'. He was a happily married jokester - sarahcookiestealer

2.

Was recently under for abdominal surgery. My partner of 17 years who I dearly love was the first face I remember seeing when coming out of anesthesia... I looked at him & said 'who the f**k are you & why are you staring at me?' He's still laughing... - rockchalkjayhawk8082

3.

My mom woke up from dental surgery and when we were leaving the surgeon's office, he gave her 'goodie bag' with floss and a toothbrush and stuff, and the whole way home she kept asking if she could eat the candy that the dentist gave her.

Every time I told her there was no candy, she looked so heartbroken, like a little kid when their goldfish dies or something. The we stopped at CVS on the way home and she wandered off. I found her in the candy aisle holding a giant bag of fun sized candy and when I told her to put it back on the shelf she dropped it on the floor and galloped away laughing at me - Almost__A__Haiku

4.

When coming to after surgery, I told my MIL that she was naughty and needed a spanking... - Lanndshark

5.

Came out of anesthesia and heard gotye's 'somebody that I used to know' playing in the recovery room. I asked my SO why they were playing it at like 10x the normal speed and the nurse just goes 'ok so she's not ready to go home yet' lol - ArchangelEquinox

6.

I had a rough labor and delivery with my first baby and they had given me several shots of pain meds. I had three days of labor, back labor, Charley horses in the calves of my legs and ultimately a forceps delivery. Ya, this was back in 1977. I was so drugged up and exhausted by the delivery. The doctor was finally stitching me up and someone in the room commented that maybe I wouldn’t have such a hard time the next baby.

I vaguely remember lifting my head partway off the table and told the dr to STITCH ME ALL THE WAY UP AND WE WOULDN’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THE NEXT TIME. The room erupted in laughter and as I threw my head back down I was so pissed they were laughing because I was serious. - feenie224

7.

I asked my nurse what they'd given me and when I was told fentanyl, I said 'Well that's fen-tastic!' I thought it was funnier than she did - Booji-Boy

8.

I gave a patient an IV dose of ketamine for a pain procedure. He proceeded to tell the room that everyone had turned into cartoon characters and then he announced he was melting into a wall of butter. Still my finest achievement as a physician... - CockeyedGunslinger

9.

My son, then 10 or so, was coming to after being under when getting his broken wrist set and casted. They had to do traction to get everything aligned or something. There were quite a few people in the room, but his drugged self directed all his attention to me.

He was describing Big Daddy from Bioshock and kept repeating, 'Dad, you know! You know what I'm talking about!' because I couldn't think of the name of the game at the time. Then he gets frustrated and yells at me, 'You son of a b*tch!' Lots of laughs from the hospital staff. - perturbeaux

10.

I was coming out of the fog of anesthesia from a colonoscopy. Apparently I didn’t recognize my wife and refused her affections, telling her she was pretty, but I was married. Got big brownie points for that. - angryshark

11.

Was under anesthesia for a breast reduction. As I was coming out, my nurse was talking to me and apparently I started saying “omg it’s an angel and she looks like Barbie!” I kept yelling for Barbie Angel and possibly kept trying to hug her and pet her hair. I cried for her on the way home. She called to check on me later that night and referred to herself as Nurse Barbie Angel. She was the sweetest. - OHManda30

12.

I was getting my wisdom teeth out, and before I went under I told them that bananas are radioactive. When I woke up, I proceeded to repeat that several times and explain radioactivity - Soggy-Pressure-8745

13.

A girl woke up and asked if she had been hit by a train and then when when asked if she knew why she was there she looked down and patted her chest and said 'implants.' She was having her ACL repaired and her mom was there. (It was me, I was 19, I've never lived it down.) - AmandaDarlingInc

14.

Had a teen boy come out of anesthesia who looked at me and said ‘heyyy you’re the girl from last night!’ - I had to reassure everyone that THAT WASN’T ME! - aWormhatForVermhat

15.

One guy said, before falling asleep, “whoa! That feels like a dime bag.” - Any_Move

16.

When I had my wisdom teeth out, I kept holding a fake camera up to my face saying 'you're beautiful' and making clicking noises while I was under. I'm a professional photographer and my dental surgeon ended up booking a session with me a year later. - cassiecas88

17.

I was giving a young female patient sedation for a routine colonoscopy, and as I pushed the propofol (sleepy medicine), it started to hit her…she sat straight up and yelled to everyone in the procedure room, “I SHAVED MY A*SHOLE FOR YOU!” and she flopped down on her pillow and she was asleep. - KittiusNimbus

18.

One of my patients coming out of sedation embarrassed her husband who was in the room by saying that during their sex he likes to have Vick's rubbed on his backside. -boxsterrox