Woman in recovery from eating disorder serves 'trigger-free' food, guest is unhappy.
When this woman is annoyed with one of her guests who disrespects her menu, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for having a dinner party and not using garlic for the food while still drinking alcohol?'
This is extremely weird and I apologize in advance for how stupid you’re going to think this whole thing is. I can’t believe this became a conflict.
With the weather being so nice I decided it’d be nice to have a fun little dinner party. I invited everyone and their SOs if they had them.
One of the SOs is Rick. I have always gotten along with him just fine, but he is one of those guys who tries to make the most bizarre things into his entire personality. The biggest one is that he’s a “huge garlic guy.” He’s one of those guys who makes a huge deal out of how he uses 400 cloves of garlic in a dish.
I don’t eat garlic. I have GERD from purging for years (difficult subject matter I know), and unfortunately the biggest triggers for me are alcohol and garlic. I’m OK with cooked onions. For some reason in the past 2 years, my sensitivity to garlic has actually gotten worse.
So I didn’t use garlic in the dishes I made. Not a huge deal, right? I have a pantry full of any other spice in the world and I’m not shy about using them.
We were eating and I got some compliments on the food. It wasn’t anything special. But Rick said that he liked it but felt the food was missing something, and asked how much garlic I used.
I said I don’t eat garlic, so I didn’t include it.
He scoffed and was like “How can you not use the most basic ingredient to most meals? That’s why it tastes like this.” He made a big exaggerated face and put the food down.
He then asked why I’d have a dinner party if I had such a limited palate and that he wouldn’t have people over for thanksgiving dinner if he was a vegetarian.
I said “I have GERD, dude, garlic triggers it.” He pointed out that I was drinking alcohol.
I said yes, I was in fact drinking one hard seltzer that I had flattened, and that these are the only alcoholic beverage I can drink. And that I was also having one just in case my body changes its mind.
He and I went back and forth until his girlfriend (the one who is actually my friend) told him to chill. Rick got kind of louder and was laughing like “Come on guys, am I really the asshole here?” with his hands out.
One of the other guys said that it was a little weird but not a big deal.
Anyway it’s a month later and Rick still won’t drop it. He keeps insisting that it was a douchey/selfish hosting move to drink the alcohol but not cook with the garlic, because garlic goes in everything.
So now I’m curious and thought this would be a fun low-stakes question for you all.
Am I the asshole?
Let's find out.
onewithnonumbers writes:
Jesus, NTA. If someone invites me over and cooks dinner, I don’t care if it tastes like shit. I’ll still eat as much as I can and thank them for hosting. Cooking dinner for multiple people can get expensive and it’s an incredibly nice thing to do.
If he wants garlic that bad he can cook his own personal meal using ingredients he bought. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for omitting an ingredient in a meal you provided.
sebasatiancalhoun writes:
Rick sounds unbearable. If my SO acted that way - not simply expressing a preference for garlic but telling the HOST it was RUDE to omit it - I would be mortified. No joke possible grounds for breaking up because who the hell behaves that way?? NTA, open and shut case.