'AITA for demanding an heirloom that was promised to me by my great grandma?' UPDATED
"AITA for demanding something my great grandmother promised I'd have from a distant relative, even when it's in her will that it goes to me?"
When my great grandma moved a couple years ago, a bunch of my moms cousins (my second cousins) helped her and took a bunch of stuff without asking my great grandma about it. My mother, grandmother, and I couldn't help in the move because my mom was in the hospital for months straight (shes so much better now). My great grandma will be 96 this year.
Ever since I was a little kid, my great grandma has told me that I would be getting a necklace from her, it was my grandma's first ever diamond that my great grandpa gave her. They lived a happy marriage. The thing was well taken care of for it being around 70 years old.
She put it in a box and planned on giving it to me either when I turned 21, or for my wedding, or when she passed it would go to me. She even addressed the box to me to make sure I'd get it. Well when she moved and my second cousins helped, this necklace disappeared. The oldest of the cousins took it. At first, she had thought she put it in her closet with her other jewelry. Now after 2-3 years, it's still gone.
A couple weeks ago, the oldest second cousin posts a photo of the box with the necklace in it (with what my grandma wrote on it too) and says she was cleaning and found a family heirloom (my great grandma has really fancy handwriting and it's sometimes hard to read but u can easily see my name is spelled on it.)
I wanna ask for this necklace, as my great grandma had intended it to go down to the 1st born female in my family. My grandma would have gotten it but she has passed and wouldnt want it. My mom would prefer I'd have it. Great grandma had a son and a daughter (my grandmother) and planned to give it to my grandmother.
I wanna ask for this necklace when it's supposed to go to me, as I want to wear it for special events like my great grandmother wants me to, especially since I'm getting married soon. Aita for demanding a necklace that was promised to me?
What do you think? AITA? This is what top commenters had to say:
[deleted] said:
NTA. Sounds like someone stole it. If it's in her will, it belongs to you (well if she's dead anyways).
lyla50 said:
NTA It was planned to go to you, your name is clear on it and it was property of your great grandmothers and she wanted you to have it. Ask for it and if it’s in her will enforce it when you need to.
IridianRaingem said:
NTA. Ask for it. She took an item that clearly has your name on it and even posted a picture online of it. There is picture proof on her social media that she ‘stole’ the necklace from you. I’d screenshot that and make sure great grandma sees that if your cousin refuses to give it to you.
RecommendsMalazan said:
NTA... but damn, grow a backbone. You really gonna let your second cousin get away with stealing from you and your great grandmother, just because you're worried you might come across as an asshole for asking for it back?
[deleted] said:
NTA. You were promised this, seemed like you had a decent relationship with your grandmother, and your cousins commuted borderline theft.
CrazyLibrary said:
Confirm with your grandmother that she never gave it to your cousin. Confirm that she still wants to give it to you. Then reply to the post how happy you and grandma are that she found it! How grandma has been searching for it for years and how happy she will be to have it back home, she has been so very sad it was lost, cause it means so very much to her.
Watch how cousin now can't not give it back without looking like a major b**** to all on SoMe. Necklace back where it belongs, cousin saves face, family drama and legal fees avoided.
Verdict: NTA.
She later shared this update:
With the advice you guys gave me here , i had commented on her post and personally notified my second cousin that i was supposed to get the necklace, not her. At first, she had made claim that she had no idea what i was talking about, which was kinda true, as the necklace going to me was only told to my side of the family anyways,
as it was supposed to go to my grandmother, but she passed, and my mom didnt want it so it would go to me. She then made an excuse that I shouldnt have helped my great grandmother move in order for me to get it, when I couldnt. My mother was in the hospital and I was only 15-16-17 years old (it's been some time so I dont remember how old i was. I'm now 21).
It started to show she wasnt planning on giving it back. But I decided one day when I was hanging out with my great grandmother, I called cousin and great grandma talked to her. I think it made cousin feel bad as great grandma made it very clear I was to have it.
Cousin had tried to make a deal with me. She was willing to give it back, if I was to promise when her daughter (12) would be able to have it when she got married in the future. I said no, as I plan to give it to my children when their older.
She did send it back and it's currently in my possession and kept where no one can take it but me. Thank you so much for the advice u guys gave me and now I have the at least 70 year old necklace back and I'm super excited to wear it on my wedding day in a couple months.
Edit: I do plan on getting it appraised by someone I know very well like you guys suggested.
Edit 2: I had it appraised, surprisingly, it was the real thing. And since it's a European cut diamond, it's worth more than a normal diamonds in production. But I dont ever plan on selling it as I plan to.give it to my children