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Stepsister told she can't host Christmas; 'you give no gifts, your house smells bad.'

Stepsister told she can't host Christmas; 'you give no gifts, your house smells bad.'

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"AITA for telling my stepsister no one wants her to host Christmas?"

Infamous-Morning-261

I [f21] live with my mom and stepdad. My stepdad has one daughter, 'Tia' [f30s]. Tia is married and has 9 kids with her husband. They also have over 7 cats. They live in a 4 bedroom house but as you can imagine it's still pretty cramped. I haven't spent loads of time with Tia, as she was already an adult when our parents got married. My mom and the rest of my immediate bio family really dislike Tia and her husband.

I've visited Tia's home quite a few times over the years and it's always looked an absolute mess. The house always stinks of cat pee and you can't even see the floor where there's just stuff everywhere.

The kids themselves don't seem neglected before anyone asks, they always look clean, it's just the actual house. Tia's husband is also always working on DIY home projects that never get finished which also just adds to the clutter and garbage everywhere...

In my family we normally rotate around who's hosting the Christmas get-together. Tia last hosted it in 2019. It caused an argument between my mom and stepdad behind closed doors because my mom said if Tia hosts again, she will not be going.

As usual, the house was a mess. Tia's husband served everyone including all the kids of the family seriously undercooked chicken (it was still cold in the middle). My mom pointed this out and they threw it in the trash, luckily no one had eaten it.

They had no gifts for anyone, not even my stepdad who spent over $600 on their kids. I know gifts aren't absolutely necessary but this just felt a bit rude... They then unexpectedly asked everyone to leave after we had been there for 2 hours as Tia's mom and maternal grandparents were coming over.

This year, Tia has volunteered to host again and invited us. My mom does not want to go and said we should just stay home this Christmas. This time my stepdad actually agreed so we're gonna stay home. My older bio siblings also do not want to visit Tia again for Christmas and all told her they aren't going and said they have other plans.

Tia was pleasant about it over text but on Facebook she made passive aggressive posts about how her fake family doesn't want to visit her on Christmas. I may be an AH because I was growing tired of seeing these posts.

I ran into Tia last week at the store and she mentioned it to me, saying that she's hurt by everyone not visiting. I told her very bluntly we aren't visiting her because no one wants her to host.

She and her husband happily accepted gifts from everyone but got nothing for anyone, tried to feed us raw chicken and their house is a mess. Tia and I started arguing, and she said that we should've communicated to her like adults rather than just not visit her but I feel like some things are just common sense. Sorry this is so long, AITA?

Here were the top rated comments from readers:

extinct_diplodocus

NTA. Maybe because she always lives that way, she doesn't notice most of the things people object to. However, serving dangerously undercooked chicken, still cold in the center, is something anybody should have noticed.

It's not nice to potentially poison yourself and all your relatives. The chicken, by itself, was reason not to risk it again. The other awful things were just trimmings to the central problem.

BookOfGoodIdeas

NTA. If you don’t end up going, at least give them a meat thermometer for Xmas.

adorablegadget

I feel like being kicked out after TWO HOURS is really the central problem. Don't offer to host if you don't intend on hosting.

Impressive-Arm2563

Nta nobody wants to celebrate cat pee Christmas. Tia should have the common sense to save herself the embarrassment.

Ok-Masterpiece318

I mean, I have kids, dogs, MY house is far from "sterile" on a daily basis. BUT if I'm hosting and cooking for people I CLEAN LIKE CHEEZUS HAROLD CHRISTMAS HIMSELF is coming to dinner.

That completely skeeves me out, cooking in a filth pit and expecting people to eat filth pit food. Even if my house is chaos and it's just my husband and the kids I HAVE to clean the kitchen down before I cook.

Maybe it's the years of restaurant management or growing up in abject clutter, but..... yuck. Just yuck. Remember that episode of Seinfeld where Kramer started cooking in his shower??? Had a garbage disposal installed in the drain and everything.

He made a salad and everyone was saying how good it was and a soon as they found out it was a shower salad they spit it out and started gagging. No one wants your shower salad Tia!

So, do you think the OP handled this poorly? Was there any tactful way to say 'your house is gross?'

Sources: Reddit
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