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'AITA for not giving Christmas gifts this year after my mom cancelled a transaction on my card?'

'AITA for not giving Christmas gifts this year after my mom cancelled a transaction on my card?'


"AITA for deciding I won't give any Christmas gifts this year after my mom cancelled a transaction on my card?"

She writes:

I'm still angry over this and I may not write very well, and also I probably don't judge the situation very well being this angry so I came to you.

I'm a student. I have a student bank account, where my college gives me money for transport (when we had physical classes) or scholarship. These kind of bank accounts have no fees, but are age restricted (can't have one if you're over 25) and need an overseer. When I asked the bank about it, they told me it's just a security thing so I chosen mom because she's more tech savvy than dad.

Well through some incredible luck I managed to get only top grades last year so I was awarded a study scholarship. Great! I've been saving it up, looking forward to word wide Black Friday, eyeing an amazing drawing tablet. I do digital art on very old intros, the tablet I was eyeing is as big as my monitor, is a display one and all around amazing.

Black Friday rolls in, and Amazon Germany (closest to me) has it in stock at an amazing price! A price I could afford! I was so damn happy, I ordered it. Then I got a notice that the bank refused the card. I emailed Amazon (their customer service is so fast) and we went over the card details and such making sure it was alright. It was and they advised me to call my bank.

It was odd, I had bought things online in the past with this card and it went through. I had enough money for it (even extra) so I thought maybe they had technical difficulties. But it was too late in the day to call and they don't work weekends, so I left an email.

Only to find out today that for "big transactions" they ask for agreement from the overseer and that mine cancelled the transfer. I was like wtf and confronted mom about it (who throughout the weekend acted oblivious) and she told me that of course she couldn't let me "throw money on something I don't need" and that "I wouldn't have money for Christmas presents if I bought that".

Then she had the audacity to ask me what I was planning to get my family this year. I told her that they won't get anything more than a bread shadow* from me and I went to my room and cried on the carpet. I missed out on the offer, I can't afford the tablet anymore and it's all because mom wanted Christmas gifts. And no, I won't get her anything.

Last year she got me a blouse too small for me that she later took for herself. She can gift herself this year too.

*Bread shadow= expression for nothing in my language

Do you think she's an a-hole for refusing to get any gifts this year? This is what top commenters had to say:

Mysterious-System680 said:

NTA. I might have some sympathy for your mother if she vetoed the transaction because she was concerned that you wouldn't be able to afford things you needed, but it was incredibly selfish of her to veto a purchase because she wanted the money to be spent on Christmas gifts instead.

Does your mother have form for buying gifts "for you" that are really for her? The blouse that doesn't fit seems like a classic case of that, given that, if it was a genuine mistake, one would expect that she would give you a gift receipt so you could exchange it for something that fit and that you liked, rather than commandeering it for herself.

ScoobyFan70 said:

NTA I would change the overseer on your account as well

bonniebluest said:

NTA. Take her off the account immediately too.

RenWithoutAcause said:

Nta your mother is being ridiculous. She could have at the very least talked to you about it before canceling (not that canceling was right in any way) and then to act like she had no idea what happened for days. Nope. No gifts for her.

And [deleted] said:

NTA, I wouldn't buy presents ever again. It was your money and you're an adult. I hope you manage to get that tablet again at some point.

Verdict: NTA! Bah humbug!

Sources: Reddit
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