'AITA for deciding I won't give any Christmas gifts this year?'

"AITA for deciding I won't give any Christmas gifts this year?"

I'm still angry over this and I may not write very well, and also I probably don't judge the situation very well being this angry so I came to you.

I'm a student. I have a student bank account, where my college gives me money for transport (when we had physical classes) or scholarship. These kind of bank accounts have no fees, but are age restricted (can't have one if you're over 25) and need an overseer. When I asked the bank about it, they told me it's just a security thing so I chosen mom because she's more tech savvy than dad.

Well through some incredible luck I managed to get only top grades last year so I was awarded a study scholarship. Great! I've been saving it up, looking forward to word wide Black Friday, eyeing an amazing drawing tablet. I do digital art on very old intros, the tablet I was eyeing is as big as my monitor, is a display one and all around amazing.

Black Friday rolls in, and Amazon Germany (closest to me) has it in stock at an amazing price! A price I could afford! I was so damn happy, I ordered it. Then I got a notice that the bank refused the card. I emailed Amazon (their customer service is so fast) and we went over the card details and such making sure it was alright. It was and they advised me to call my bank.

It was odd, I had bought things online in the past with this card and it went through. I had enough money for it (even extra) so I thought maybe they had technical difficulties. But it was too late in the day to call and they don't work weekends, so I left an email.

Only to find out today that for "big transactions" they ask for agreement from the overseer and that mine cancelled the transfer. I was like wtf and confronted mom about it (who throughout the weekend acted oblivious) and she told me that of course she couldn't let me "throw money on something I don't need" and that "I wouldn't have money for Christmas presents if I bought that".

Then she had the audacity to ask me what I was planning to get my family this year. I told her that they won't get anything more than a bread shadow* from me and I went to my room and cried on the carpet. I missed out on the offer, I can't afford the tablet anymore and it's all because mom wanted Christmas gifts. And no, I won't get her anything.

Last year she got me a blouse too small for me that she later took for herself. She can gift herself this year too.

*Bread shadow= expression for nothing in my language

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Mysterious-System680 said:

NTA. I might have some sympathy for your mother if she vetoed the transaction because she was concerned that you wouldn't be able to afford things you needed, but it was incredibly selfish of her to veto a purchase because she wanted the money to be spent on Christmas gifts instead.

Does your mother have form for buying gifts "for you" that are really for her? The blouse that doesn't fit seems like a classic case of that, given that, if it was a genuine mistake, one would expect that she would give you a gift receipt so you could exchange it for something that fit and that you liked, rather than commandeering it for herself.

ScoobyFan70 said:

NTA I would change the overseer on your account as well

bonniebluest said:

NTA. Take her off the account immediately too.

RenWithoutAcause said:

Nta your mother is being ridiculous. She could have at the very least talked to you about it before canceling (not that canceling was right in any way) and then to act like she had no idea what happened for days. Nope. No gifts for her.

And [deleted] said:

NTA, I wouldn't buy presents ever again. It was your money and you're an adult. I hope you manage to get that tablet again at some point.

Later OP came back with these edits:

Edit: there are so many comments and I thank you all, I'm trying to reply to all of you but it'll take a while

Edit 2: thank you so so much for people offering me money in comments and dm but I can't accept that. I'm really grateful for you trying to help but I really can't take that. I'm really thankful for the offers and advice

Edit 3: all hail u/Epic-Hamster! So many people offered me advice, money, their tablets or other means of helping and I'm really thankful to you all!

Also, lots of you told me to check the sale that's going on right now but the tablet I ordered wasn't on sale, yet u/Epic-Hamster found it (same specs different seller) at sale at an even better price than the Black Friday sale! I ordered it, it went through this time, and I'm so happy and excited!

Thank you, from all of my heart to everyone. I'm still going to reply to all of you, even if it's going to take me all night. Happy holidays for all of you!

Edit: it seems like I can't reply to you guys anymore sadly but if you want to you can send me a pm, I don't think I'll sleep this night anyway

FAQ

(Now I really get why these are called frequently asked questions)

• This account I have to have because of my Uni, but I'm going to make dad the overseer and also open an account at another bank (a normal one) and transfer the money in small amounts to that one so I don't bother dad with it

• Also considering asking him just to be for form and the app to be on my phone so I'll be my own overseer

• I am an adult in my country, I'm 20, going to be 21 in April. The law asks my parents to support me until I finish my studies or at least until I'm 26, but I plan on moving out sooner

• I'll do gift my sister and dad, they have nothing to do with the incident and I love them lots

• I love mom too but can't put up with her attitude any longer

• Regarding what I'll give her, not sure yet but there are some amazing ideas in the comments

• She didn't react like that because she got me the tablet already, it's not her character to get me something she can't use.

• Regarding the gift dad's planning on and which she'll claim is from both of them, dad is going to build a bigger enclosure for my lizard.

• I may wrap my lizard's old branches nice and gift those to mom, as per Christmas traditions regarding naughty kids. And she doesn't like my scaly boy at all so double points I guess

• People saying that a drawing tablet is useless, thanks for your input but the question was if I was an A for the way I reacted and my decision to not give her a gift anymore. As it's my money I literary can do whatever I wish with it and a display drawing tablet is incredible useful for an aspiring digital artist as myself.

Thank you all who commented, I'll really try to reply to you all but you're so many! Thank you lots!

Edit number I lost count: Glad so many people like the bread shadow! It's a regional Romanian idiom! Would you eat some beans for us on 1st Dec? It's our national day, traditionally celebrated by eating beans with meat but if you're not okay with the meat that's okay too. I love you all!