My mom has a tradition for every Christmas, and that is to get custom stockings of her grandchildren's names (Cody, Mia, Sammy, Alaina...etc...) and hang those stockings near the fireplace.
My wife and I have been together for 3 years. She has a son (my stepkid) from her former marriage. When she found out about the tradition mom has, she said she expects my stepson to get his own custom stocking and be hanged along with the other kids' stockings.
I asked my mom and she said that she loves her step grandchild but does not feel comfortable yet to have a stocking of his name and gang it in her home. Apparently, my wife refused to drop it and chose it as a hill to die on and even told me she would not be attending Christmas party if mom doesn't do it.
We started arguing about it for days. I finally blew up and told her it was not reasonable for me or her to dictate how my mom decorates her home and what stockings she hangs. She started crying and called me 'blind' for not seeing how my family are treating my stepson.
I said they love him and a some stocking isn't going to prove anything. She said she wouldn't go then and I called her ridiculous for deciding not to go over something so trivial. We have been in conflict about it since then and she's refusing to even speak to me. AITA for saying that it was ridiculous for her to decide not to go over some stockings?
Info: My stepson's age is 9.
From the comments:
To be honest, my dad adopted me, but before that... When he was just my stepdad, I'd have felt very uncomfortable and left out if I was the only cousin not to have something. Especially after 3 years. I'd feel like it was deliberate to let me know I wasn't the same or cared about the same way.
Take a look through Reddit at some adults that are still hurt from how their step family treated them as a kid. Kids notice these differences. They see what we think they won't notice. YTA. She's advocating for her child and protecting him from being hurt by what is supposed to be his family. Why aren't you?
YTA. Your mom is making a display of who she considers family and who she does not. She does not consider her step grandson to be family. I’m not saying you should make her hang a stocking, but you should definitely understand why your wife and child feel unwelcome. They deserve to celebrate Christmas somewhere that they are treated like family.
She doesn't feel 'comfortable' hanging up a stocking for a child? My dog has a stocking ffs. It's quite clear that your stepson is being excluded because he isn't her biological grandson and frankly, if you are willing to allow that to happen, then you aren't much of a husband or father. YTA
Your mom in an AH, you're just blind and idiotic, not even smart enough to be considered an AH, just a pathetic small minded being.
YTA - is 3 years not enough time to get a freaking name embroidered on a sock? it’s Christmas and your stepson will remember how continue to alienate them because of “tradition”.
HUGE YTA. It is a big deal and a hill I would expect to die on. He is either your son or he is not, and you not standing up to your mother is absolutely disgusting and pathetic.