Sober lady bans all alcohol from family Xmas celebration, but the fam revolts.
My house, my rules!
Except, what if we don't have to be at your house? Like, at all? This was a lesson one woman learned this holiday season: you can't actually tell adults what to do. I mean, you can, but you can't make them do it.
AITA (Am I the A-hole) for banning alcohol from Christmas?
omom2122 writes:
My husband's family likes to drink. Every holiday includes multiple bottles of wine/cocktails. I hate drinking I have never drank my father was an alcoholic I think it’s childish if you can’t have fun without drinking.
This year I’m hosting Christmas for a change I decided since it’s at my house, no alcohol allowed. We are all getting older and it’s time to grow up.
My husband's sister called to ask what she could bring. She saw a recipe for a Christmas martini that she wanted to bring. I told her about my no alcohol rule. She didn’t say much but must have told the rest of the family. Some of them started texting me asking me if I was serious and saying that it is lame. But I’m not budging.
Now it turns out my husband's sister is hosting an alternate gathering that almost everyone is choosing to go to instead. It’s so disrespectful, all because they would have to spend one day sober.
My husband told me he talked to his sister and we are invited to her gathering and he said we should just go and stop causing issues, but I won’t. It’s so rude.
Now husband is mad because I’m making him stay home and spend Christmas with me but it was my turn to host and I chose to have no alcohol. They could have dealt with it for one year.
Well, what do you think? Does the host have every right to make rules about their party? Or are some rules too weird to enforce on other people?
Reddit had little sympathy for OP, and decided that her issues with alcohol weren't everyone else's problem. They ruled YTA (you're the a-hole).
thexsunshine says:
YTA and the Grinch who stole boozemas.
BasicDesignAdvice agrees:
Seriously. Both my sisters are recovering alcoholics and even they would never be so uptight. Then saying they 'have to grow up' is just so f*cking smug.
Alarming_Reply_6286 chimes in:
That’s the line that got me. “I have decided we are all older so it’s time for everyone to grow up .. so head on over to our house for finger painting & hot cocoa cause we’re making Christmas all about ME!”
Mrminecrafthimself writes:
I’ve seen different recovered alcoholics react a couple ways to alcohol after getting sober. Most get past it and say “I was the problem. I just can’t drink alcohol because I can’t restrain myself (or something similar)”. But I’ve also seen some who come at it like “alcohol was the problem. Alcohol is poison. There is no healthy amount of drinking and no one should do it.”
OP is the latter. I’ll also say that blaming alcohol for trauma that you experienced (whether from your own alcoholism or someone else’s) is not a very secure or mature response to the trauma. To me that’s a sign that the person needs therapy.
kinsarc says:
Recovering addict here. I’d never ask other responsible adults, family or not, to not partake. I’m responsible for my behavior and I’m not going to force others to accommodate.