Holidays

<p>Happy Valentine&#39;s Day!</p><p>Today is the day we all celebrate love, disappointing gift exchanges, and ridiculously overpriced prix fixe dinners. Or, if you&#39;re single, it is a day designated for hate-scrolling through your Instagram feed, drinking too much wine, and passing out on the couch while watching<em> Bridget Jones&#39;s Diary </em>for the 50th time.</p><p>Either way, it&#39;s gonna be a fun night.</p><p>Whether you&#39;re single or coupled, celebrating Palentine&#39;s Day with friends or just practicing self love tonight, check out these hilarious Valentine&#39;s Day tweets.</p><p>They are better than actual valentines:</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">If men wrote candy hearts:<br><br>- hey<br>- what r u up to?<br>- K<br>- lol<br>- *silence*</p>&mdash; Eden Dranger (@Eden_Eats) <a href="https://twitter.com/Eden_Eats/status/963587911873576961?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 14, 2018</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Roses are Red<br>Chocolates are Brown<br>You&#39;re getting neither<br>So calm the fuck down.</p>&mdash; Ginger Snapped ❤ (@katy_fit) <a href="https://twitter.com/katy_fit/status/963688505003081728?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 14, 2018</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">What’s everyone’s favorite Valentine’s Day movie? Mine is Die Heart.</p>&mdash; The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) <a href="https://twitter.com/OhNoSheTwitnt/status/963771079239131136?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 14, 2018</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">&quot;Actually, violets are violet,&quot; I say, ripping up her poem.</p>&mdash; Anna (@anjvs) <a href="https://twitter.com/anjvs/status/566646623145426944?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 14, 2015</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Love means never having to say anything because you&#39;re both looking at your smart phones</p>&mdash; Megan Amram (@meganamram) <a href="https://twitter.com/meganamram/status/698933782175297536?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 14, 2016</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><oembed>https://twitter.com/pakalupapito/status/692306813367275520</oembed><div className="ad-splitter"></div><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Idk just spitballin here but maybe you&#39;re single today because you&#39;re always tweeting shit like &quot;I&#39;m in a relationship with pizza&quot;</p>&mdash; Dan Sheehan (@ItsDanSheehan) <a href="https://twitter.com/ItsDanSheehan/status/698963043791826944?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 14, 2016</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">valentine’s day is approaching, but so is mcdonald’s monopoly and i’ll let you guess what i’m more excited for x</p>&mdash; 🍒paige (@_paigemcmillann) <a href="https://twitter.com/_paigemcmillann/status/957580213617119232?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">January 28, 2018</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Roses are red/Violets are blue/I&#39;m gonna celebrate <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/Valentines?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#Valentines</a> Day/by mansplaining flowers to you</p>&mdash; Kate Sidley (@sidleykate) <a href="https://twitter.com/sidleykate/status/698958926931496960?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 14, 2016</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Happy Valentine&#39;s Day.<br>Rob Thomas is 46 today.<br>So give me your heart<br>make it real<br>or else forget about it.</p>&mdash; Greg (@GrowlyGrego) <a href="https://twitter.com/GrowlyGrego/status/963770285496438786?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 14, 2018</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Can we replace Valentine’s Day with another thanksgiving?</p>&mdash; QueenFridayXIII (@QueenFridayXIII) <a href="https://twitter.com/QueenFridayXIII/status/957661020922761218?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">January 28, 2018</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">My favorite thing to do for <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/Valentines?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#Valentines</a> is insist I don&#39;t want anything for weeks in advance, then pout all day.</p>&mdash; Jackie Jennings (@ohhijackie) <a href="https://twitter.com/ohhijackie/status/698913780869308418?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 14, 2016</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">half off chocolate on February 15th. <a href="https://t.co/ECVkIH59TX">https://t.co/ECVkIH59TX</a></p>&mdash; Amara (@AmaraBaptist) <a href="https://twitter.com/AmaraBaptist/status/955391913879851008?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">January 22, 2018</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">&quot;Do you have a date for Valentine&#39;s Day?&quot;<br>Me: Yes... February 14th</p>&mdash; Zachary (@zacharywhyde) <a href="https://twitter.com/zacharywhyde/status/957440392164790274?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">January 28, 2018</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Valentines Day might make you feel more pathetic and alone but you&#39;re not! Its impossible to be more pathetic or alone than you already were</p>&mdash; Brent (@Brentweets) <a href="https://twitter.com/Brentweets/status/698719702554509314?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 14, 2016</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><oembed>https://twitter.com/Wine_Honey1/status/963765382120198144</oembed><div className="ad-splitter"></div><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">couples have love but single people have funnier memes to relate to so i think we win</p>&mdash; shannon coffey (@coffeys) <a href="https://twitter.com/coffeys/status/698918414245568513?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 14, 2016</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Roses are red,<br>Violets are blue<br>Lilies are white<br>Dandelions are yellow<br>Carnations are pink<br>Marigolds are orange<br>Delphiniums are kinda purpleish…<br>Where was I going with this again?</p>&mdash; Pat Rothfuss (@PatrickRothfuss) <a href="https://twitter.com/PatrickRothfuss/status/963761443320619010?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 14, 2018</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">True Valentine’s Day story:<br><br>I was kicked out of chess club in the fifth grade because one Valentine’s Day we got special chocolate chess pieces as a treat, and I ate mine before the game.</p>&mdash; Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) <a href="https://twitter.com/MikeDrucker/status/963762885842407424?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 14, 2018</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">“Your beauty&#39;s immense,<br>Beyond all compare.<br>Happy Valentine’s Day,”<br>Said Trump to his hair.</p>&mdash; shauna (@goldengateblond) <a href="https://twitter.com/goldengateblond/status/831597052467372032?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 14, 2017</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Happy Valentine’s Day to everyone except those who posted pics of how many miles they ran.</p>&mdash; mark (@TheCatWhisprer) <a href="https://twitter.com/TheCatWhisprer/status/963758427733483521?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 14, 2018</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Teens will be exchanging heart-shaped chocolate boxes full of Tide Pods, I just know it.</p>&mdash; April Lavalle (@imatoofbrush) <a href="https://twitter.com/imatoofbrush/status/963774596154617861?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 14, 2018</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

The most hilarious Valentine's Day tweets that are better than being loved.

April Lavalle

Happy Valentine&#39;s Day!Today is the day we all celebrate love, disappointing gift exchanges, and ridiculously overpriced prix fixe dinners. Or, if you&#39;re single, it is a day designated for hate-scrolling through your Instagram feed, drinking too much wine, and passing out on the couch while watching Bridget Jones&#39;s Diary for the 50th time.Either way, it&#39;s gonna be a fun night.Whether you&#39;re single or coupled, celebrating Palentine&#39;s Day with friends or just practicing self love tonight, check out these hilarious Valentine&#39;s Day tweets.They are better than actual valentines:If men wrote candy hearts:- hey- what r u up to?- K- lol- *silence*&mdash; Eden Dranger (@Eden_Eats) February 14, 2018 Roses are RedChocolates are BrownYou&#39;re getting neitherSo calm the fuck down.&mdash; Ginger Snapped ❤ (@katy_fit) February 14, 2018 What’s everyone’s favorite Valentine’s Day movie? Mine is Die Heart.&mdash; The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) February 14, 2018 &quot;Actually, violets are violet,&quot; I say, ripping up her poem.&mdash; Anna (@anjvs) February 14, 2015 Love means never having to say anything because you&#39;re both looking at your smart phones&mdash; Megan Amram (@meganamram) February 14, 2016 https://twitter.com/pakalupapito/status/692306813367275520Idk just spitballin here but maybe you&#39;re single today because you&#39;re always tweeting shit like &quot;I&#39;m in a relationship with pizza&quot;&mdash; Dan Sheehan (@ItsDanSheehan) February 14, 2016 valentine’s day is approaching, but so is mcdonald’s monopoly and i’ll let you guess what i’m more excited for x&mdash; 🍒paige (@_paigemcmillann) January 28, 2018 Roses are red/Violets are blue/I&#39;m gonna celebrate #Valentines Day/by mansplaining flowers to you&mdash; Kate Sidley (@sidleykate) February 14, 2016 Happy Valentine&#39;s Day.Rob Thomas is 46 today.So give me your heartmake it realor else forget about it.&mdash; Greg (@GrowlyGrego) February 14, 2018 Can we replace Valentine’s Day with another thanksgiving?&mdash; QueenFridayXIII (@QueenFridayXIII) January 28, 2018 My favorite thing to do for #Valentines is insist I don&#39;t want anything for weeks in advance, then pout all day.&mdash; Jackie Jennings (@ohhijackie) February 14, 2016 half off chocolate on February 15th. https://t.co/ECVkIH59TX&mdash; Amara (@AmaraBaptist) January 22, 2018 &quot;Do you have a date for Valentine&#39;s Day?&quot;Me: Yes... February 14th&mdash; Zachary (@zacharywhyde) January 28, 2018 Valentines Day might make you feel more pathetic and alone but you&#39;re not! Its impossible to be more pathetic or alone than you already were&mdash; Brent (@Brentweets) February 14, 2016 https://twitter.com/Wine_Honey1/status/963765382120198144couples have love but single people have funnier memes to relate to so i think we win&mdash; shannon coffey (@coffeys) February 14, 2016 Roses are red,Violets are blueLilies are whiteDandelions are yellowCarnations are pinkMarigolds are orangeDelphiniums are kinda purpleish…Where was I going with this again?&mdash; Pat Rothfuss (@PatrickRothfuss) February 14, 2018 True Valentine’s Day story:I was kicked out of chess club in the fifth grade because one Valentine’s Day we got special chocolate chess pieces as a treat, and I ate mine before the game.&mdash; Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) February 14, 2018 “Your beauty&#39;s immense,Beyond all compare.Happy Valentine’s Day,”Said Trump to his hair.&mdash; shauna (@goldengateblond) February 14, 2017 Happy Valentine’s Day to everyone except those who posted pics of how many miles they ran.&mdash; mark (@TheCatWhisprer) February 14, 2018 Teens will be exchanging heart-shaped chocolate boxes full of Tide Pods, I just know it.&mdash; April Lavalle (@imatoofbrush) February 14, 2018 

Happy Valentine&#39;s Day!  Today is the day we all celebrate love, disappointing gift exchanges, and ridiculously overpriced prix fixe dinners. Or, if you&#39;re single, it is a day designated for hate-scrolling through your Instagram...