Woman refuses to drive husband to airport after he says 'yes' to trip on Christmas week.

"AITA for refusing to drive my husband to the airport and being upset he is leaving?"

Some background, we live on the east coast and his family lives in TX. My family lives about 4 hours away. They drive to us for every holiday, birthday, dance recital, etc. We have lived here for roughly 7 years (before that, we lived in TX). His family takes several trips/vacations a year and only once, this past year, came to visit us.

Over the 7 years we have went to visit them at minimum 1-3 times per year. My husband works out of town about 3 weeks a month so it’s a lot of solo parenting for me. The weekend before Xmas he went with his parents and siblings to OK to visit his grandparents. Myself and my children were unable to go as my daughter had holiday things going on at home she didn’t want to miss.

He came home the Monday before Xmas and asked if we could swing a trip to TX after Xmas to see his family and so his dad and him could go to the Alamo bowl. I told him that we unfortunately couldn’t. We really couldn’t swing an unplanned trip financially right now and with wanting to travel so close to the holidays booking prices were extremely high.

I also explained to him that our daughter had off of school and all sports this week and that NEVER happens, especially when he is home too, and I really wanted this to be a week for us to all spend together. Especially since he will start traveling for work again on the 2nd of January and will not be home until the last week of January.

The day before Christmas Eve I was out shopping and he texted me saying he knew I was going to be mad but his dad had booked him a flight and bought tickets for himself, my husband, my BIL and MIL to all go to the game. He would return the 30th. I got upset because we had already talked about going and I said that we just couldn’t swing it this year.

His response was that he “knew nothing about this and his dad surprised him with it for a last minute Xmas gift” (which is a lie because they mailed our gifts to us and our children and he had received a Xmas gift). I asked him if everything had already been purchased as I would like him to not go. He said yes, and that he was going because it’s something he really wanted to do.

We haven’t spoken much since then honestly because I feel very hurt that he doesn’t want to spend time with myself and our children before a long work trip, after he’s just seen his family last week, and would rather spend most of the week with his parents.

He says that we could just book flights for myself and our kids to go but we honestly don’t have the money and I’m not maxing out a credit card for an unplanned trip. Tonight he asked me if I will be driving him to the airport tomorrow morning for a 6 am flight.

I told him that he will need to book an Uber because I’m not waking our kids up at 3:30 am to drive an hour each way to the airport so that he can go on a trip that I don’t even want him going on. He says that I’m being unreasonable. AITA?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Adventurous-travel1 wrote:

Why isn’t he using his airline miles to fly you and the kids out. Does he even want to married or have a family?

I wouldn’t be surprised if he had another family.

Super_Reading2048 wrote:

NTA though your marriage needs serious work or to be put out of it’s misery. Your husband has to want to prioritize & fix the marriage. It doesn’t sound like he does. So divorce him and let him be single that remaining 25% of time. Set yourself free.

The_Curvy_Unicorn wrote:

NTA. And I suggest you play the song “Cat’s in the Cradle” by Cat Stevens for him on repeat. Incessantly. Not only is he being a total jackass to you and your marriage, but he’s completely damaging his relationship with your children. If he wants to know how well that’ll end for him, he’s welcome to call my father.

In all seriousness, it’s time for a come to Jesus discussion with him. I’m not one to usually go nuclear on a marriage, but this is a case where I’d be making myself heard.

C_Majuscula wrote:

NTA. He should have declined the ticket and stayed home. If it’s not clear where you and the kids stand, you’re behind his desires and his family’s plans.