Woman wants help paying for Christmas dinner; mom says 'you're embarrassing me.'
AITA if I tell my guests (family) that I need to be reimbursed for buying, preparing and cooking Christmas dinner?
Using a throwaway just in case my cousins were to come across this. I’m 21 and have a really close family. We always did Christmas at my grandmas house but she passed away last January and so there was a lot of discussion as to who would do the dinner.
Mu opinion was it would be best to have one of the younger people do it that way we can have a long standing tradition that last years. There was some arguing back and forth between my and my aunt but finally she said “fine.”
I was kind of thinking my 29 year old cousin would step up since she has a really nice house and kitchen but then she said she would be going to Germany this year. Finally after a month of no one volunteering my mom said I’d really pissed my aunt off and I needed to do Christmas this year since I was so adamant about a young person doing it.
I was not going to be proved wrong so I said I would. So a couple of things. I'm a good cook so I’m not worried about that part. But it’s WAY more expensive than I thought it would be, especially with inflation.
I also realized that my apartment is way too small so I rented a really nice Airbnb for the day. And I had to buy all new dishes, cookware, serving ware, table spread etc… this is going to cost me about $4500 that is going on my credit card.
We are having between 20 and 25 people and I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask them to pay between $250 and $300each so I’m not financially ruined by this. Im a first year teacher and I can’t afford that. When I told my mom about the idea she said don’t you dare even consider it.
Her argument was it was my idea and I even argued with my aunt, all my grandmas stuff packed up and in great shape…I didn’t need fo get a whole new “spread” from pottery barn and why didn’t I just ask someone else to host and I could cook and that my grandma never once asked for anything in return so this could “splinter” the family.
She said “admit you bit off more than you could chew, take everything back, cancel the Airbnb and ask for help with hosting and cooking.” I said no I could do but I needed money. She said I was embarrassing “the hell” out of her and she may not come.
Your own mom threatening to not come to your Christmas is making me feel like an asshole. Am I or would I be ?
Here's how people judged OP:
I-wonder-why2022 writes:
YTA, you did bit off more than you could chew. Also, as your mom stated, you could have asked for help, but you didn't. You still can, but your pride is more important apparently.
As your mom stated, return the expensive 'spread', use ur grandma's China and maybe reach ot to your Unt, apologize and see if you can host it together. Isn't Christmas about family after all?
Myhbdipsnhenaksknsnj OP responded:
I wanted to prove I could do it I guess.
rileygreyy writes:
YTA. Every single cost that you listed was a choice you made of your own volition. Why should they pay for things you chose to buy and that you will keep? You got yourself in this situation.
Myhbdipsnhenaksknsnj OP responded:
Well they will be part of the family tradition from here on out, just like my grandmas stuff was
Mysterious_Camel925 writes:
$200 PER PERSON??????? Wow, that's.....harsh. I mean, I've cooked for that many people and a full-on spread with gobs of food and desserts. And AT MOST I spent MAYBE $25 per person.