I'll preface this by saying that I host Christmas celebration at my home every year. I have a son and a daughter, both married with kids. They and their spouses help out with the celebration planning, but I take care of the food mostly.
Everybody seems to be in agreement, except for the desserts. Now for desserts I had made a specific list of what to serve. Together with my older granddaughters (18) & (16) we're going to prepare a cranberry cake and White Chocolate-Dipped Madeleines and Blondies.
It all started when my son told me that my younger granddaughter 'Jenny' (10) wanted to bring cake pops to the gathering, and asked if I could add this to my dessert list. I bluntly said I was sorry but it wouldn't work because, like I said, the dessert list is very specific. And also, Cake pops don't really seem to go properly with all the other elaborate dessert options on the list.
He said that it's not a big deal and that he's sure the guests will love the cake pops as much as the other desserts, and that it would mean so much for her. I said I was sorry and that maybe she could bring the cake pops to a family birthday party. He got upset and talked about how I'm letting my other granddaughters participate while excluding Jenny.
I said that my two older granddaughters participate under my supervision. He said that Jenny could bake the cake pops under my supervision as well, but I said I don't have the time for that. Also, my older granddaughters have more experience and techniques, but Jenny is still a child learning.
I'm not discouraging her from her passion. I just don't feel like what she makes is ready to be put on the menu since we have lots of relatives who are hard to please. He argued that I was prioritizing the guests' feelings over my own granddaughter's, but I assured him that it's not true. He left and hasn't been responding to my phone calls.
I just found that he told his dad this morning that he's contemplating not attending Christmas with us this year which, I thought was unnecessary and unreasonable. But I could use some unbiased opinion on this.
Here's what people are saying:
YTA. Stop being such a controlling snob. Also, since when are blondes more elaborate than cake pops?
YTA. My granddaughter is 5, and I have served her cookies and cupcakes that she made with my supervision. Are they 'perfect'? No, but they were made by the next generation baker in our family, and everyone tried and loved them and she just shined! How dare you crush one of the people you should be supporting as a grandmother.
YTA. She wants to be included, she wants to be one of the girls. You have absolutely no idea how much this is going to affect her long term AND I don’t think you care but I think you should. Little things like this in childhood create personality traits in adults. Make it up to her and do it today, now.
YTA. Why does the youngest not get an invite with the older two to help bake/decorate?
LadyMadeline113 OP responded:
Because mostly we make elaborated desserts and she's into simple baking. that's what my son says she enjoys the most. Add the fact that they don't visit a lot like my other granddaughters.
But if she wanted to join us. Why not. I'm not against that. I even thought about serving her cake pops to immediate family members maybe early in the day but I suppose my son won't agree.
YTA. No explanation needed.