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Man tells house cleaner he 'expects' her to show; she claims 'disrespect' and quits.

Man tells house cleaner he 'expects' her to show; she claims 'disrespect' and quits.


AITA for using the word 'expect' with a house cleaner?

I've (36M) been working with a house cleaner (mid-20sF) for the past year. I book her directly but she also gets work from a cleaning platform. Last week, I scheduled a cleaning for today, 10AM. This morning at 9:40 she texts: 'my platform just added a morning job to my schedule so I will be coming a bit later around 2pm'

I reply: 'That's fine this time, but when we schedule a time I expect you to block out that time and not take any more jobs. We may have to arrange some things around our scheduled time and shifting it can be inconvenient'

She calls in a rage. 'You don't EXPECT anything from me. I don't tolerate this language from anyone in this world. I don't work for you. I will not be disrespected like this, do you talk to anyone else this way?'

I say I didn't mean disrespect. I use 'expect' with people I manage at work - she says she's not my employee, she works for herself. We don't make much headway and she quits.

We don't have a contentious history, she's never been angry like this before. We're not friendly and don't know much about each other, but otherwise it's just been a professional relationship. AITA for using the word 'expect' here?

Here's what people had to say:

daveescaped writes:

This is a tough one for me. What I do know is that almost no one who works on my house in any way like being treated like they work for me, despite the fact that they clearly do. I think it is a mistake to draw a straight line to “entitled twenty-somethings”. Society changes. Much of it is only a matter of style; in this case the style of how you address someone.

My wife has a similar style to OP in that she is businesslike and clear about whether she is satisfied with service she receives. It is rarely appreciated. So while she can stand on principle, does it get her what she wants? No. It doesn’t get her better service. People get mad. Some quit.

Same goes for you OP. Are you wrong? No. But did you get what you needed? No. I’m going to say NTA but you still need to look closely at whether your approach (while not a**holey) is in your own best interest.

codsweck writes:

Lmao that’s 20 something year olds nowadays NTA

Texas_sucks15 writes:

NTA. But I understand her frustration. She works a somewhat degrading position cleaning up after middle-to-upper class people. She more than likely felt she was treated as lower class during that interaction and has mentally prepped herself to be viewed as independent, thus resulting in her reaction.

Sources: Reddit
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