Woman accuses sister of 'stealing' her dream honeymoon; demands she cancel.
Sibling rivalry is an age-old tale.
The heat always gets turned up when special events and monumental life moments are involved. It is hard not to compare yourself to someone so close to you and become a little competitive. One woman was shocked when she found out her sister was jealous and angry about the surprise vacation her boyfriend planned her.
'AITA for vacationing at my sister's dream honeymoon destination?'
My sister has always been a 'wedding' person, as in she's dreamed and planned her wedding even before meeting her boyfriend. Now that she's engaged, she wants it all: expensive cinematic venue, guest list in the hundreds, designer dress, etc, and she cares a lot about being the 'the first' and making everything 'special and just hers'.
I legitimately have nothing against that and I'm happy that she's getting what she wants. The issue arose because my boyfriend planned an anniversary getaway to a tropical island that happens to be where my sister planned to honeymoon.
I had no idea that she was planning to go there (they hadn't actually booked anything, she had just 'planned on it'). And I didn't know until I shared the news with my family during a bi-weekly dinner we have together.
Additionally, this was a surprise trip planned and paid for by my boyfriend who would absolutely have no way of knowing my sister's plans (he's not close with her or her fiancé).
She says that if I go there first, I'll take away the surprise and specialness of the destination, and is insisting that I cancel or change the destination. I'm pretty upset and called her entitled because there's no way I'm going to tell my boyfriend to change something very nice he did for me!
My sister is now threatening to remove me from the wedding if I don't change my vacation, and my parents are begging me to give in to keep the peace. My boyfriend has offered to pick a new location because he hates seeing me upset and fighting with family, so I wonder if I'm being the AH for being so stubborn about it all.
Here is what people advised:
NTA. Why should you have to cater to her insane behavior
This got the OP's attention and they responded:
It honestly didn't even start here. She asked me to dye my hair a different color on her wedding day so we didn't match (we're both brunettes). I haven't even had that conversation with her yet 😭
To hell with that. She needs to get over herself. Is she going to ask every other brunette to dye their hair too? I feel bad for your sister’s fiancé.
Although you could change your color to something really dynamic & upstage her...per her demand.
Well if she kicks you out of the wedding for going on the vacation, you won't have to dye your hair. Tell your parents to tell your sister to stop claiming things she doesn't own as hers 'to keep the peace.' Have fun at her dream destination.
The bride-to-be seems to want her perfect wedding and it makes me wonder if her partner can even have a word in the planning. As for OPs parents, they probably care more about 'what people will say' than the fact that OPs sister is making such ridiculous demands.
NTA but it comes down to whether or not being part of her wedding matters to you. She's being insane and incredibly entitled, so obviously you're not going to reason with her, even if thousands of internet strangers are on your side.
Please please pleaaaasseeee tell me that in the 6 hours since you posted this you told your sister to get bent and told your parents they are enabling her toxic ass behaviour? Good grief. Go on your vacation and videotape EVERYTHING.
Upon your return, invite everyone for a PowerPoint presentation so everyone can see how much fun you had, on your sisters dream island, before she could 😊
Take my advice or don't. At 35 I'm over people handing out ultimatums over childish ass stuff and using relationships as a weapon against you. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.
Especially when you have a kick ass BF that not only surprised you with a beautiful vacation for your anniversary, but even offered to change it just so you didn't have to go through this.
Show your loyalty to the ones that deserve it and show your ass to the ones who don't, so they can kiss it as you get served drinks with little umbrellas on a glorious beach on a hot, sunny day with your bikini on.
In case it wasn't clear- NTA 😉 enjoy your vacation and don't forget your sunscreen and birth control (if you're not planning babies right now cause those vacation pregnancies got me, twice)