Navigating the modern, everchanging workplace can be hard; and, separating your personal life from your professional life has become increasely more difficult. So, how do you gauge when I coworker has stepped over a line?
Longbitchstyle takes to the forums to ask:
I (27 F) work in the marketing department at a mid size financial firm. “Cody” is a few years younger than me but I don’t know his exact age. He recently started and I’ve been here since college.
Cody and I do not interact often. He’s nice enough from what I know. We’ve talked at company events and briefly in the break room and we are friendly but I wouldn’t consider him one of my friends in the office. I don’t see him that much. He may have an issue with some social skills.
According to coworkers, he’s never said anything bad to anybody but some other women have claimed he might stare at them a little long. Or come by their desk to ask questions he obviously knows the answer to.
Cody hasn’t been a problem for me until this morning. I woke up to a notification on Instagram that a photo was liked. I am on public and have many followers so sometimes it happens when I haven’t posted anything.
I’m sitting at my desk and I see that someone liked a picture of myself in a bikini from 2018. Upon examining the account I see that it is Cody. Plus, I see that he must have liked the photo around 1-2 AM the previous night.
I don’t know if it was on accident or what the reason is. Truthfully I’d rather not put too much thought into it. All I know is that now I am super uncomfortable at work. It is stirring up past PTSD when I dealt with a stalker in my building during second year of college.
A close friend of mine who I do not work with is telling me that I shouldn’t say anything. Maybe if things escalate I could but, this is too innocent. Weird, but innocent. But all I know is I’m super uneasy. I’ve thought about going to HR or having an employee I’m close with confront him about it.
elderoriens offers caution by saying:
He liked a picture on your public account. Way too early to assume trouble.
Don't make your account public if you don’t want people liking your pictures that are not from your ‘inner circle’. You have no reason to go to HR.
ohlookitsGary takes a pretty harsh stance:
Yeah YTA. grow up, you're describing some middle school shit here 😒
Stop making your ptsd someone else's problem. Smh.
Long_Squash1762 chimes in with some very specific advice:
Ywbta. Nothing here is an HR issue. You have a public account so you want the public to see it. Him doing it at 1am is just a non starter. He doesn't have to be in bed by your standards. Make your account private, that's the smart thing to do anyway because you don't want him snooping around looking for things to begin with.
As far as the 'other' coworkers, that's hearsay and not admissible. Unless your company has cameras to verify, not really much they could even do. For all they know he could have been staring off into space and not even noticing them.
If you were to try and have someone confront him, your job would be on the line as, at that point, you are harassing him and he would have a valid claim. Pretty sure the person you had confront him isn't willing to lose their job over you so you would surely be ratted out.
What do you think? Does this behavior warrant discipline or is it unfair to penalize someone professionally for engaging on a public forum?