'My boss just asked me to host his entire family for a week.' UPDATED 3X
"My boss just asked me to host his entire family for a week."
I have changed a couple of details and left certain things vague for privacy reasons, but the gist of it is he is considered the CEO's golden boy and I am considered the CEO's... mother...
When "Bob's" and his wife had a child, she became a SAHM, which the CEO ("Dick" because he is one) found very admirable and promoted him. You know the whole song and dance of Bob becoming a family man.
Didn't seem to matter that he was showing up later and later to the office and missing more and more and more work and when he was in the office, he was often sleeping. He wasn't my charge so I let it go and focused on those who were under me.
About a year ago, Bob & Co had to leave due to a family emergency which required them to move across the country. Another promotion happened as soon as they settled.
At this point, he went from being under me in the hierarchy to being at my level, and became even more unreachable. Well, Bob got promoted again a couple months ago to the highest level he can be and now outranks me.
So imagine my surprise when he texts me asking me to house his wife, toddler, and dog for the week in January and mentions asking the company to pay for his accommodations as an afterthought if that didn't work.
Gobsmacked, I tell you.
Utter gobsmacked I was.
My dude, I haven't gotten a raise in four years and just got silently demoted for having the audacity of checks notes having a baby (that is another fun tale of Dick acting like a spoiled older child with a new baby sibling for another day) despite nothing with my work changing while you are praised for being such a good dad.
Get out of here.
Thanks for listening to my rant. I am going to go take an aspirin before my meeting with Dick where he will without a doubt mention it...
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
No is a complete sentence. Go to HR. Start sending out resumes.
"My personal life is not a company perk for your promotion."
HR won't help you. Find another job and forget that place.
Eight days later, the OP returned with an update.
Alright. I have been avoiding it, but I think I need to put on my big girl pants and just suck it up now and have a talk. I am looking for a new job but because it is the holidays that is going to take a bit of time.
Basically, I have a coworker who I used to manage but is now higher than me on the hierarchy and seems to still think that he is entitled to the perks that I gave out as his manager. Like covering his ass when he went AWOL, or making accommodations for him so he didn't have to worry about reimbursements.
In addition to a lot of inappropriate behaviors and snide comments that are just not professional, there are also just a lot "favors" that are inappropriate - like asking for his entire family to stay with me, expecting me to throw a work Christmas party at my house (on my dime), giving him rides, etc.
I have been pushing it off, because I am not his boss, and I am leaving (hopefully sooner than later). But then he did something that drove me absolutely insane yesterday and I realized I should probably have a come to Jesus moment with him if I want to avoid strangling him before the new year. So any advice on how to tell a man to stop being an utter ass? Professionally, ofc?
For those who are curious, my employee and I were running late and I had her message him to let him and the owner know we would be there soon. He then lied to the owner about it only to admit after that he had gotten the message to basically get her in trouble.
Luckily, the owner of the company and I have a decade of work experience together, so he was unphased and listened to my explanation, but yeah, uncool is understatement.
Two and a half weeks later, the OP returned with another update.
And we are in the final count down with some very interesting developments.
A quick recap:
Bob, CTO, is the family man who wants to bring his entire family including the dog to stay in my home for a week to avoid paying hotel fees. Dick is the CEO and, well, a dick who keeps rewarding Bob for being a hard-working family man at detriment to his job.
So let's start with the minor drama:
Bob is on vacation all this week... which good for him.
Much earned, I am sure. Just one small, teeny tiny hiccup. He hasn't told us some very minor details like meeting place or meeting time... This is all going to go well, I am sure.
Now for the intrigue involving Dick...
Dick just kind of poofed.
Vanished off the face of the planet. We don't talk about Bruno style. I brought up his name a few times in meeting over the past month on things we need him for and no one, and I mean no one else in the C-Suite will say his name.
He is off the payroll (which in some weird oversight, I still have access to. Oops.) There has been a lot of hush-hush "transition meetings" with the owner/founder and Bob.
So, I think he is going to announce his resignation next Monday. Which is a mixed bag since it looks like Bob "Cannot Figure Out A Hotel Booking" is on his way to being his successor. Le sigh.
In my very professional opinion give him six months before he crashes and burns. And it is totally not because two weeks ago, he told our COO he had a bunch of files and then immediately turned about and asked me where they were. Nooooooo...
So while we ring in the new year waiting for this train wreck to play out... Throw out your wildest theories how this is going to go. I don't think it can be anymore insane then this... And as an aside: I have a couple of interviews next week as well. Yay!
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
It is wild to me he even suggested to stay at your house even my best friend wouldn't dare unless i offer first.
So Bob gets promoted because his wife is a SAHM and you are demoted for having a baby. (Is that even legal where you live)? Just look for another job. The audacity of some people. I hope you said no to providing free accommodation to his family.
The entire company won’t last 6 months. There’s a reason the former CEO left like he did and promoted the new one like he did. And there’s a reason the new one is looking to you in front of the COO. Get out asap. Also, you’re not actually letting them stay in your home right? Please protect yourself and don’t.
Nine days later, the OP returned with their final update.
I really just need to vent, because what in the actual word...
So our now former president announced his departure, and his vastly under-qualified pet was announced as his interim replacement with no intentions of finding a new permanent replacement "in the foreseeable future."
It wasn't unexpected. The now former president, Dick, has been MIA for almost a year. Fled the state after losing the office due to not paying rent and then resulting in us getting furloughed for two weeks in March last year. It was a thing. It is besides the point because I want to talk about his replacement, Bob.
Bob comes in Monday after taking two weeks off for the holidays (much deserved I am sure) and I presumed to move, because Bob also hasn't lived in-state for a year. His reason was family-related. A relative was terminally ill and passed while this was going on. I am not going to get into the nitty-gritty, because not my story to tell.
BUT, allegedly he and his family had an apartment lined up. SO I assumed they were going to move into it the week after Christmas Truly, my bad. For being sensible. And ya know, thinking logically. Won't happen again.
Apparently, late Sunday afternoon, Bob comes with his entire family. Child, dog, U-Haul, all of it. To the apartment complex who is surprised Pikachu faced to see them there because no one informed them Bob & Co would be renting from them.
Y'all the man running our company fell for an online rental scam. Not even a good one. Like at no point did he call the management office or get an official email to confirm. It was all over personal text.
And what's more, he told the entire company over donuts an hour before he announced his interim presidency and intent to make it permanent.
What. The. Actual. WHAT.
Safe to say no one was happy to be subjected to multiple hours of pep talks over two days of "he is the best candidate" from Dick and Bob. Especially as a couple coworkers pointed out, I, with a degree in Engineering Management, was sitting right there.
But I, for one, am most grateful that I said no to letting Bob's Family spend the week at my house. Le sigh. Taking the rest of the week off to decompress from nonsense and just hyper focus on applying.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
This is the problem with staying in toxic jobs too long. You get habituated to the chaos, and your 'normal' meter breaks. OP is severely underreacting.
I know I shouldn’t victim blame but OP is a dumbass for sticking around as long as they have.
I am genuinely curious how a company this dysfunctional is still getting payroll out the door. I have to assume people are getting paid or else they would have quit by now. I suppose the conclusion is that they use a third-party to handle it, but still, there needs to be money in the bank and if this is a start-up, then someone is raising money, revenues must be limited, etc.