Hotel employee threatened with termination over her 'poor appearance.' + Update
"Possibly going to get fired for "appearance and grooming"... due to a stain on my skin"
mescalinebabies
Literally don't know where else to go but I work nights shift at a hotel. When I first got hired I had multiple facial piercings in ans a funky way of dressing and doing my hair. They originally wanted me to be clean cut but after some back and forth they've let me keep my piercings in so as long as I dress business casual.
Fair. So I wear plain button ups and pencil skirts with tights. No biggie. At one point I had dyed my hair (black) and the dye I used changed their formula so it stained my skin like CRAZY. I soaked my hands in hot water for almost 20 minutes, tried dish soap, tried rubbing alcohol. Still stained. Whatever.
I go into work and a girl that had recently been promoted to manager (1 month ago) saw and was like oh! Can you get that off your skin? And I said no and demonstrated using hand sanitizer to show that it was deeply stained. We kinda laughed it off and she was like ok well next time don't do that before work. Fair.
That was about 2 weeks ago and today in my email I see I'm being called in for a performance review meeting. And attached is a FINAL WARNING (meaning any further action is termination) due to violating dress code. The only infraction that's listed under "examples of violation"? Hair dye stains on hands and arms.
The email discussed "how they're going to proceed further with my employment".. I'm literally gagged. I can't believe this. This is the only time I've ever gotten a warning here, verbal or written. I almost feel like crying. A final warning over accidental dye stains that I can't remove? Plus I work night shift!! Barely no one sees me. I'm at a loss over what to do.
I looked over the handbook and it does say we have to be well groomed but I've never called out, barely ever late, always do the work before it's due and I get great reviews from guests. I'm actually heartbroken. I work a position that no one wants to work. Has something like this happened to anyone else? What do I do?
Here were the top rated comments from readers after the OP's initial post:
Kamimitsu
Buy a pair of long white (or whatever matches the color of your outfit) gloves.
Edit: and a small tiara, just for effect.
The OP responded here:
mescalinebabies
LOL that would be perfect smartassery.
I'm just extra upset because this dye stains thing happened 2 weeks ago, and the next time I showed up to work I had gotten rid of the stains!! Like.. so confused!
Philosemen69
Wait, what? the stains are gone and they are disciplining you NOW!!! You need a L. A. W. Y. E R., ASAP. Don't worry about getting a good lawyer, any lawyer, or law student for that matter, could keep you in your job, get your supervisor and half of HR fired and put a nice fat settlement in your savings account.
Edited to add: To all those arguing the legality of everything, in the world I live in legality is often not the reason to get a lawyer. Inept management such as the stooges in this situation will often shiz their pants at the word 'LAWYER' because they don't know what they are doing and will bend over backwards to avoid dealing with a lawyer.
The OP again responded:
mescalinebabies
Thank you. Everyone in the thread is giving me advice on how to remove the stains but I had them for 1 shift two weeks ago! It's a small company, not a corporation, and I would have been way less surprised if they brought it to my attention in a meeting with HR the week it happened.
I legitimately forgot it happened until now when I got the email. I go into the meeting in 3 hours so I guess if I need a lawyer I'll update this thread. This just seems so small to fire me over.
lazydaisytoo
Start looking for another job now because you are imminently losing this one. Save your breath in this meeting because anything you have to say doesn’t matter. They will fire you on your next infraction, such as being late.
Later the same day, the OP returned with an update.
"UPDATE to possibly getting fired over dye stains on skin"
mescalinebabies
EDIT NO. 2: thank you everyone for the feedback. I did do some research and with labor laws taken into account, this is not a violation of labor laws although it does appear that my employers are taking advantage of vagueness around employee rights laws.
I won't be pursuing this legally - however this is something I am still considering bringing to the labor board along with other things discussed in the meetings I won't be disclosing here. And to address one final thing, I'm not pentecostal. Me not owning or wearing pants isn't for religious reasons and my work knew this prior to creating this rule.
It looks like everyone that said that said that this was a new manager making an attempt to throw weight around as well as use me as an example is correct. I'm not quitting my job, I'm going to search for a new one until they fire me since it seems like eventually they're going to head in this direction. Oh well.
So a few hours ago I got out of the meeting. I did read as many comments as possible and listened to everyone's opinions. I promised an update so. I get to the meeting and despite all the listed issues only regarding hair dye stains, sure enough it was a laundry list of problems they had for me.
The meeting consisted of two mid-level managers, one recently promoted. I was basically not able to plead my case at all in this meeting and I was talked over if I tried. They called it a "performance review" and when I asked for further clarification on whether or not this was a disciplinary meeting it went unanswered.
In the meeting they told me that the hair dye stains, despite being accidental and lasting only one day, had caused them to review the dress code and what they deemed appropriate (because as you guys pointed out the dress code was extremely vauge)
No hair dye stains were added to the list however they made a few other changes that they fully admitted were done solely because of me. The big change they've made to the dress code is no skirts.
No skirts at all. Not knee length, ankle length, none. I am currently the only employee that chooses to wear skirts and upon me being hired I double checked that that would be ok. I've never received a verbal warning or write up for my skirts.
I asked if it was because of length, as I usually go for just above the knee however it's not outlined in the dress code and they did not specify and went forth in banning skirts despite me being the only person that wears them. I don't own pants and informed them of this. They essentially said get some and told me they'd be providing me with a future uniform credit.
They didn't even give me a write up or make me sign anything but they did attempt to make me sign the new uniform agreement, which I did not do because I don't own pants and I don't want to sign an agreement saying I have to wear them. This just seems ridiculous to me. Especially since when I was called in for the meeting i was supposed to be getting a final warning write up that I was never given.
I also want to note that in this meeting they told me I would no longer be allowed to eat at the front desk, however on my shift I am not permitted to clock out to take a 30 minute break nor do I have anyone to cover me at the desk to step away to eat. They kinda said it last minute so I wasn't able to process it.
All in all I'm confused. What they called me in for doesn't track with what the meeting ended up focusing on, and while not being fired is awesome, the way I was treated during this meeting made me feel horrible and like I did something wrong.
I even asked about my performance work-wise during the meeting and they had no complaints. What's going to happen to me if I don't wear pants? Is it legal for them to force me to wear pants and not eat for 8 hours? Help y'all...
Here were the top rated comments after this latest update from the OP:
broomandkettle
OP, they want to you to quit so that you can’t file for unemployment. Don’t fall for it. Email them and ask for a copy of the uniform agreement. Ask them if there is a form to fill out for the stipend.
Ask if there is an employee handbook. And, ask them how they want to handle your break/s from the front desk. You need their written response to these questions, not a call or in-person conversation. You are at the point where documentation is very important. Firmly insist on it.
Yes, they can change the dress code at any time and make it a requirement for employment. However, if they decide that they want to fire you for not signing the form, make sure they actually do that. Ask them “Am I fired? Are you going to terminate my employment?” They have to say it.
Don’t make a “mutual agreement” with them that would allow them to dispute your unemployment claim. Edit: And don’t sign an NDA or severance agreement. If they are firing you, you shouldn’t sign anything no matter what they claim. If they offer a severance package, return to get feedback about that before signing.
Also, the missing breaks open them up to legal issues. They have to provide a solution so that you have your break/s. You shouldn’t eat at the front desk because that’s not a break. Don’t make the mistake of being accommodating over this issue. It’s their problem to solve, not yours.
Hotels are often owned by large corporations, which are typically conservative entities. Even if you work in a liberal, urban region, they will want employees to maintain a traditional, hospitality/business style so that customers have the same experience no matter where in the world they are. There is very little wiggle room for personal styles. Keep this in mind if you go for another hotel job.
RemyParkVA
To add to this, bcc your personal email. Emails.sent and received via any company emails have been known to "disappear" on people who start trying to collect evidence against their employers. Bcc your personal email to have an archive.
PortlandGeekMama
As a former front desk manager and graduate of HRTM, you need to find a new job. If you're doing Night Audit believe me there is a hotel that is currently hiring for that position because it's the hardest to staff.
If you're good with doing full time, even better, when I was a FD manager I would have killed to have someone like you apply for NA. Someone who shows up on time, is professional, courteous, and willing to do 5 nights a week? Hired.
knittedjedi
"I also want to note that in this meeting they told me I would no longer be allowed to eat at the front desk, however on my shift I am not permitted to clock out to take a 30 minute break nor do I have anyone to cover me at the desk to step away to eat. They kinda said it last minute so I wasn't able to process it."
Feels like it's time to get some proper advice from a qualified legal professional.
EchoPhoenix24
Yeah, the dress code stuff is extremely crappy but not illegal. But depending on the length of their shift, that last part sounds like it definitely might be!
Purple_Midnight_Yak
Last line says it would be 8 hours without eating! Afaik that's illegal in every state.
DearOP_
Where I live, it's illegal not to give breaks during a shift. I'm not sure where OOP is, but here that's a reportable thing that could get the managers/business in big trouble. Add in that they're targeting them with provable evidence such as the new no skirts rule. Easily, they would be sunk if reported to the labor board.