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22 people share the dumbest explanations they've ever been told.

22 people share the dumbest explanations they've ever been told.


Sometimes someone gives you an excuse or explanation for their behavior that's so brutally bad that it's both impressive and hilarious...

So, when a Reddit user asked, 'What's the dumbest explanation that you have ever heard for something?' people were ready to share the moments that made them question whether or not the person in front of them had a fully functioning brain. There might not be any 'dumb questions,' but there are certainly some questions that make you seriously evaluate your faith in humanity.


Ex boss: you shouldn't leave on time should stay back a little

Me: but why?

Ex boss: because it looks like you aren't working as others...

Me: but I come in to work a half hour early every day!

Ex boss: yeah but no one sees that - ThomasSchiff


'Porsches are faster than regular cars because the engine is in the back, so it pushes the car instead of pulls it.' -My friend's girlfriend, in dead seriousness - Etryn


There's a sign on the wall of the service counter at our local 'Mom & Pop' grocery store that reads: 'There's no reason for it, it's just our policy.' The owner simply points to it if he refuses to give a refund. - Back2Bach


'Dude, people were shorter in the past.' - My friends explanation as to why the shower heads in our dorm were at chest level. The building was built in the 1980's. Yes, Tom, I'm sure the average height of a person was a full foot shorter in the 1980s then it is now. - Felicity_Badporn


About 20 years ago, my grandparents were on a road trip with my aunt and uncle and they got lost in the middle of the night. They didn't have smart phones back then, so they had no choice but to stop at a Burger King for directions.

My uncle: 'Excuse me, we're lost. Where are we?'

Cashier: 'Burger King.' - rahsftw


I had just moved into a new apartment and the maintenance guy was showing me around. The smoke detector was beeping, so I pointed out that it needed new batteries/ needed to replaced. He responded ' No it just does that so you know that it's turned on.' - smashinjin10


When I lived in Wisconsin a classmate told us she was moving to Milwaukee to get 'the f*ck out of this state.' We were seniors. - saywhatreverend


Mars is red so it must be hot.... - christo334


Absolute dumbest thing: Flies can stick to the ceiling cause 'they ain't got no gravity.' It hurt to have a conversation with this guy - medfordfats


Islands float because solids are lighter than liquids, which is also why ice cubes float - MJR_disappointment


Compasses work because there are a lot of iron rich mountains in the antarctis - [deleted]


You can't drive from New York to Canada because New York is a state and Canada is a different country. She said this to me as I was explaining that I had driven from New York to Canada the previous week. I still don't understand. It's been nearly 15 years since that moment and it still blows my mind every time I think about it. - GunzGoPew


That it didn't rain when the stars were out. She didn't understand that it meant that there were no clouds. She thought the stars were blocking the rain... - c4stiel


'I know this paper says you're being underpaid, but we do that intentionally. We pay you less so we can afford to give better raises when we promote you!' - ostentia


Deer turn into elk based on elevation - MJR_disappointment


'You didn't get a 100% (perfect score) on your test because only God is perfect.' - derpman453


A guy at work says the world must be flat because if it was round, people in Australia would just fall off, as they're on the bottom. I tried to explain how that's not the case and, like with many of his arguments, he replied, 'That's what they want you to believe.' He was dead serious about it too. - nolooselips


'That's the way we've always done it.' That's not a good reason managers! - howispellit


When I was young and in Sunday school, we were talking about proper burial rites, and my teacher said that cremation was a major sin, because it made it hard for Jesus to resurrect you on Judgement Day. - MoccaFixGold


In high school, talking about 2001 riots, the teacher says, 'and they used horses to break it up.' A girl adds, 'Oh, duh, because they didn't have cars in 2001. Only horses.' - Ocula


'Fresh food is better for you because microwaves suck all the nutrients out.' Thanks, glad to know that I can just microwave my double chocolate cake and avoid that fat and sugar. - HonoraryCassowary


Our business moved into a newly-renovated building and had offices on the second floor. They kept the huge windows and put in new sashes, but no screens. When we asked why there weren't any screens, the building manager told us they weren't necessary because 'the bugs don't fly up this high. - vinnydabody

Sources: Reddit
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