When this woman is angry at her babysitter, she asks Reddit:
My husband and I work long shifts, We have 3 kids and for years we've been hiring babysitters of different kinds to help with the kids. my oldest is my 14 yo daughter Lauren.
First of all, the babysitter is for my younger children (6 - 4). My daughter does not need a babysitter obviously.
Second of all, My daughter is incapable of looking after her brothers for several reason. She already made it clear and I wasn't going to force her to do it. Besides that hiring babysitter became normal and is part of our lives but this issue occured.
Lauren's been going through hard phase after her best friend passed away from leukemia on december. It impacted her hugely. she recieved therapy for 2 months and is doing better now but grief has no timeline and she misses her bestie so much.
I do all I can to be available and lend a comforting shoulder. we got her a new journal to write down about her thoughts and feelings and she's been doing a lot better since she had it.
We were looking for a babysitter and my husband suggested his friend's 17 yo daughter. I know her, so I said yes right away.
She worked for us for weeks, she sometimes tease Lauren about her being uptight, never smiling, giving her the nickname 'grinch'. I'd told her to stop it but she said she was just messing with her trying to get her to cheer up 'no biggie'.
Days ago while I was working Lauren called me and was crying saying I needed to come home, I freaked out and when I got there I saw the babysitter sitting with the kids, Lauren was upstairs.
She said the babysitter took her journal and started reading it out loud infront of the kids while recording herself. I was pissed a.f I asked the babysitter and she said she was just messing with Lauren and showing her that it's okay to speak emotions out loud instead of bottling up.
She really she thought was helping her overcome her fear to express herself. I yelled saying it wasn't her place and that she caused more trouble than ever. She apologized and swore she deleted the video but I told her she could no longer work for us and needed to leave.
She broke down crying and apologizing to me and Lauren. But I refused to let her keep her job. I know Lauren doesn't want to be around her anymore.
My husband came home and was upset that I let the babysitter go reminding me that this was his friend's daughter and I shouldn't have made her leave. He argued that I handled this the wrong way and that I should've been the adult in this situation instead of yelling and kicking her out.
I explained what she did to Lauren but he said 'I agree with you on this, she should've known better but she didn't, kids her age make mistakes, what's done's done she apologized so we should give her another chance'
He kept on about how this impacted his friendship of 14 years. Also said we're now without a babysitter and he's trip is this week so I have no choice but to let her come back but I said no, she will never step a foot in the house again.
He called me unreasonable by referring to everything as if it's mine and he shouldn't have an opinion. and said it's his house too.
I ended up calling him delusional for expecting me to re-hire her after the stunt she pulled on Lauren and I won't let it happen because my daughter can't feel comfortable in her home.
He got very upset for what I said and stopped speaking to me since then. AITA?
NTA. If you let this teenager back into your house, it’s pretty much guaranteed that Lauren will NEVER tell you anything ever again.
Your husband needs to be a father and stand up for his daughter. And I’m sorry, do you say she RECORDED HERSELF READING HER DIARY? Why? To show her friends? Post on Facebook?
Reach out to this girls father and tell him exactly what happened.
Yes! Can't imagine what is going through his head and how he's justifying his pov. She made a decision and he's upset because he has a day, so his decision overrules?
NTA. Your husband is being a selfish A. H. by not talking to you, after ddismissing your daughters feelings and focusing on his friendship/daughter over his own child.
Lauren needs to feel safe in her home. It takes time to find a journal, gather kids, record, etc. It's not a mistake; don't go through people's stuff.
This is a memory that will pop into Laure's head every so often, likely for decades + to come. How would he want it remembered? Her father offered only support, comfort, and reassurance, or he was 'sorry that happened' and re-hired with one foot out the door on a trip.