When this woman doesn't know whether or not to feel guilty, she asks Reddit:
Me: (F28) Fiance: (M28) Brother: (M25) Sister: (F14) Grandma: (F66) Last weekend my now fiance (bf at the time) randomly wanted to take me out of town for a getaway.
I said no because I wasn't in the mood and so he settled for taking me to a park. He invited my younger sister/parents along but not my brother, who is weird, and grandma, which isn't too odd.
Usually my brother is left out of things, but it is because he doesn't help out as much with our younger sister when our parents go on vacation, and my parents sometimes favor me more so he gets jealous. But every parent has favorites so it's not my fault.
Anyways, I ended up getting proposed to at the park that night, and we decided to go out afterwards to celebrate. We went to a few restaurants, And when we switched to bars we sent my sister home with my Mom.
My mom ended up calling my brother and grandma the next morning regarding the proposal and my brother called me and asked why he or my grandma wasn't invited.
I told him that I had no idea about the proposal, and that afterwards I was so happy about it that I forgot to tell him. He was pretty upset and said it was selfish to leave him and our grandma out of things, and that our grandma was very sad that she wasn't able to witness it, or celebrate afterwards.
I argued that maybe if he was more involved with the family that he would've been invited. We argued about it for a bit more and then he hung up.
Now he has been giving me the cold shoulder since. Yesterday we had our weekly family dinner and him/his gf have been kind of quiet towards me. It is making me think about whether I even want to invite him or his gf to my wedding.
Why should I when he's being so rude? My parents think that they probably should have invited him but I don't see the problem here.
'He invited my younger sister/parents along but not my brother and grandma, which isn't too odd.
Usually my brother is left out of things, but it is because he doesn't help out as much with our younger sister when our parents go on vacation, and my parents sometimes favor me more so he gets jealous. But every parent has favorites so it's not my fault.'
YTA along with your parents. I see why he doesn't babysit.
NTA I get it wasn’t your choice, but you said yourself you brother gets left out of thing because he refuses to babysit. I have a feeling this was a result of built up resentment for being ignored in favor of the “golden child” so I can understand why he’s upset.