When this husband is concerned with his wife's finances, he asks Reddit:
My wife and I (early 30s) have a joint bank account that we use to pay all the standard household expenses. For hobbies and other things that do not benefit the entire household, we have separate personal accounts.
My wife's family planned a reunion for the beginning of November. They're kind of flaky when it comes to cancelling plans at the last minute. Because of this, when my wife was booking plane tickets, I suggested that she pay a bit extra to ensure the ticket was refundable, just in case plans changed.
She said, quote, 'that won't be a problem. I talked to my family and they are 100% sure they are going', then booked a non-refundable ticket. Well, turns out that the trip got cancelled anyway because 3 of the 6 people coming got sick!
WIBTA if I insisted that the cost of the plane ticket come out of my wife's personal account? The way I see it, because my wife unilaterally decided to book a non-refundable flight (against my suggestion), she should also have to unilaterally deal with the financial consequences.
My wife is arguing that the plane ticket should come out of our joint account because, had the trip not been cancelled, the joint account would have paid for it. She's saying stuff like don't be cheap. AITA?
NAH I don't blame you for feeling that way, and your wife just went ahead and booked the ticket on her own anyway after you pointed the problem out, but perhaps it might be best to let it go this time as you had no agreement in place for incidents like this.
How about you let this one go and use this as a chance to make an agreement with your wife about her either paying for refundable tickets or paying for the loss herself next time?
There would be no argument to be had then. I don't think it would be fair for the family to miss out on whatever that money could have paid for because her relatives are flaky and your wife doesn't want to acknowledge that and that preventative measures.
If she doesn't agree to either take preventative measures or responsibility in the future then I think she is being unreasonable.
NTA. I know this is going against the tide on this post but I’m with you. If she’s spending joint money and you make a simple request to get cancellation insurance (half of which you’re paying for because it’s coming out of the joint account) and she refuses then I agree she should have to reimburse you for the tickets.
You weren’t giving advice to a random stranger then getting upset because they didn’t take it. You were giving advice on a responsible way to handle your joint funds and she brushed you off and the result is costing you both money.
At the very least, for future trips with her family I would suggest you each buy your own plane tickets from your personal accounts. That way you’ll get your money back and she won’t. But this time around she should reimburse you.
Everyone is saying you’re punishing her but they aren’t mentioning her using your joint funds in a way that you didn’t want (non-refundable tickets) and expecting you to pay half of a trip that never happened.
YTA. You're exasperated, and justly, but this sounds like punishment, and treating your wife like a child. 'Actions have consequences! You will pay for this with your allowance!'
Explain your frustration, let the join account pay for it, and ask her firmly to always, always take refundable tickets from now on.