When a Reddit user posed the question, 'What’s the most messed up/inappropriate thing that someone’s casually said to you?' people were all too generous with their experiences.
Trigger warning: these stories range from hilarious to sexist / racist / disturbing for a million reasons. But it's important to have a space to share these things! I'm sure more than one of these inappropriate comments will sound familiar to you, sadly. And if you've ever found yourself saying any of these things to another human... do me a huge favor and DON'T.
When I was 20 and working as a cashier I had a very old man tell me “I didn’t know they made maidens as fair as you anymore.” While I was smiling and telling him he was so sweet, he followed up with “if I was 40 years younger I’d be dragging you into the woods.” - lorealashblonde
“You need to get married. Otherwise, you’re too free.” My Boomer male boss when I was 29 years old. - Starboard_Pete
“People don’t take me seriously because I’m pretty. You’re so lucky not to have that problem.” - DJFlorez
I’ve gotten, “you’re so pretty/intelligent/well-spoken/nice/well-mannered etc. FOR A BLACK GIRL”. And they’re confused when I tell them that this is not a compliment. One person doubled down, and said that the opposite was true of most black women, so it was a compliment. - adorablescribbler
“Hey, get in here! There’s a woman on Seinfeld who is just like you!” My dad to 14-year-old me, referring to the woman in the “Man Hands” episode. I was struggling with an awkward growth spurt at the time. - sauvblanca
I was packing up files and my boss said I looked good on my knees. - MadRollinS
“I can’t wait for you to be blind, your art gets better and better.”
I am SEVERELY visually impaired, losing my vision to a degenerative disease. I am an artist. I paint and create work with themes sometimes relevant to my vision loss. Someone I knew said this to me, in front of a group of people at dinner 2 years ago. I was 32 at the time. - whatdoyoumeanitsfake
I had a dentist say that I 'needed to work on that for when I had a boyfriend' when I was gagging during whatever the hell he was doing. I think I was 11? I did not understand it at all until I was much older and saw like the second episode of Glee where a gag reflex comment is made, I asked my mum about it and she explained and I was like 'ohhh... Ohhh is that why (dentist) said this?' She was not thrilled. - CopperTodd17
I was once invited to a fancy party at a farmhouse. You could tell everyone there came from money (I’m from a working class background) but I was mixing quite well. I was taking to a girl and she legitimately turned to me and said “You know, it’s really nice to spend time with someone from another class” I was genuinely shocked. Why would anyone say that?! - JamesRibbens
“I like you a lot, but if we dated I’d end up cheating on you.” - Sorcerer888
Middle of a grocery store. I’m 18 or 19. A man 50+ years old walks up to me, puts his arm around my shoulders, stares down at my breasts, and says, “Damn, girl, can you see your feet?” - Aruaz821
I’ve always had issues with my weight and in high school I was involved in a lot of activities (mostly music or theatre related) which meant I had teachers/directors/conductors pulling me out of class a lot to practice or do something artsy.
One day in class I got a text from my friend saying my music director asked if I could come up to practice something really quickly. My teacher knew and didn’t mind my leaving. She casually mentioned “the elevator was out of order”. When I got back a few minutes later one of the kids next to me said that after I left the teacher said to the entire class “she could use some exercise anyway. The stairs will do her some good.” - pink_highlight
My boyfriend’s grandfather said twice (!) that he would rather like to see me in a Bikini than normal clothes. For context: we just spent a family afternoon at the pool where I was wearing a Bikini. - Heylotti
I opened up to someone about my brother who attempted to commit suicide, and a week later I was ranting about some obscure nonsense (or was I just explaining it excitedly? I can’t remember, but I was definitely just being myself) and he “jokingly” said “I can see why your brother wanted to kill himself.” - ACMaximum69
At an old job, my coworker (who is an amazing friend and also got me the job) is Islamic. When our boss was introducing a visiting branch to the team he introduced my friend saying 'he's Islamic but don't worry, he's not going to blow us up.' He got off with a verbal warning. - SlightGlint
A good guy friend that I really liked as a person. He was/is charming, intelligent, funny, never had issues with women, always had multiple options. He was driving me back to my car after we'd had a few drinks, looks at me and casually says, 'I could r*pe you right now if I wanted to' and then pretends he never said it. - RedEyeFlightToOZ
When I told someone that I was using a Cold Cap so I didn't lose my hair during chemotherapy she said 'I guess we're all a little vain'. - Penguin-mum
I was a pitcher on my HS baseball team, my best friend was also on the team. We were playing in the championship series and I was pitching pretty well, but I made a couple of mistakes and we lost and were doe for the year. While we were all in the locker room. My best friend's dad came up to me and said 'if you didn't suck y'all could have won it all'.
I know it's a minor thing, but it was years before I told my buddy why I never wanted to hang out at his house. I don't even know why I let it bother me to this day. - BrokeNeckSpeed
I remember being about 14 and sitting with my dad and few of his friends in a restaurant somewhere. One of them had his maybe like 4/5 year old daughter with him. She was chewing on her straw and licking it and putting it in and out if the cup. One of dad's friends said something like 'shes going to make a man very happy someday.'
I distinctly remember no one laughing. I was old enough to understood what the guy meant. I asked my dad about him after. He said they talked to him about it when I went to the toilet. - Khal_Andy90
Had an ex who requested that I keep the push-up bra on during the fun times because my breasts were disappointing, 'like opening a bag of Lay's.' - Millennial_Idiot
'You've got some crying time in your future' A random old man said this to me shortly after I had adopted my first dog ever who was 7 years old at the time. Well f*** you, random stranger, my dog lived another 10 years after that comment was made. I found this comment very disturbing. Why would you say this to someone who was obviously ecstatic to have just adopted their first pet ever? - makuraoblongata
“When are you due?” - bettybootlace