When this woman is grossed out by her MIL, she asks Reddit:
MIL is a phenomenal cook. But last Thanksgiving, there was an incident. This turkey is the first thing she made that I didn't like, but it was awful. I don't think MIL even basted it, so it was dry, overcooked, and like SFIL said 'tasted like saw dust'
Thanksgiving is supposed to be our holiday with my husband's family. MIL does not like this and wants Christmas. As a result she usually treats us kind of shitty on Thanksgiving to begin with, but last year was a mess.
Note I always offer to help with the cooking or bring a dish, and she always turns me down. so last year we arrived, she did her typical routine of ignoring us, and then she served all the traditional sides, this dry turkey, and she sat down with some meatballs that were just for her.
Everyone asked why she was eating meatballs and she said it is her house. Her husband whined because he wanted some, but she said they were leftovers and there wasn't enough for him. She said turkey is stupid anyway.
No one liked the turkey so SFIL decided to grill some steak. He also made a turkey burger for his mom, but said that he wasn't cooking for anyone else because he isn't our 'slave', so at this point MIL, SFIL, and his mom have different food, and me, my kids, my husband, SFIL's stepfather, and MIL's parents have this turkey.
I felt humiliated and said I was leaving. MIL just rolled her eyes. I got some grief from MIL's parents about how Thanksgiving isn't about the food, but I snapped at them that my kids weren't going to be treated like shit.
We left and went to a buffet. It wasn't great and the whole day was a let down. My husband acted like I ruined Thanksgiving because he said there were enough sides and we should have stayed as her sides were better than that shitty buffet.
I set a boundary that I would never spend another Thanksgiving with her. She made us feel like second class citizens and she clearly can't cook turkey. Today everyone is mad at me and accusing me of being petty and ruining my husband's relationship with MIL.
MIL is roasting a chicken this year, so I know we wouldn't have to eat dry turkey, but to me it is the principle. I am refusing to go, send my kids, and I told my husband he is free to go but I will be extremely hurt if he leaves his nuclear family to see mommy.
ETA- we don't do Christmas with her because her Christmas is very adult centric and boring for my kids where as my parents make a magical day for my kids.
I do think it’s shitty to designate your husband’s family only for thanksgiving and never for Christmas. That popped out as a red flag to me.
It seems like you’re controlling, critical, and probably not a pleasant daughter in law and they are shitty hosts and there’s probably a lot of anger under the surface on all sides. You said she was ignoring you but cooking an entire thanksgiving meal is stressful and she was probably busy.
You said she is normally a good cook… she tried her best and isn’t even cooking turkey this year. Continuing to talk about how badly she cooked a turkey which is expensive and a lot of work is extremely rude. Let it go.
The father in law probably was the rudest one but you have a vendetta against your mil and are manipulating your husband by saying you will be hurt and angry if he goes to see his mommy?? Sounds like you already don’t let him see his family on Christmas. Esh.
She clearly cooked the turkey to come out like crap on purpose or she wouldn’t have made something else for herself. MIL was acting like a child who didn’t get her way bc she’d rather have them over on Christmas.
Plus she was rude to all the other guests by serving them horrible turkey on purpose and having something better for herself. She wasn’t just being petty to OP, she was rude to all her guests.
And her husband wasn’t any better by then preparing separate food for himself and also being rude to all their guests.
They sound insufferable and it’s no wonder OP doesn’t want her Christmas ruined by her petty ILs. I agree they should probably rotate holidays, but based on the ILs behavior, that probably wouldn’t be enough for them anyway.
Who is rude to a houseful of guests just bc they are mad that they don’t get to dictate where their adult child spends their holidays?