When this woman talks to her friend about his wife, she asks Reddit:
I (f25) was chilling with an old friend I hadn't seen in a while, let's call him Jake (26), catching up over a pint at the pub.
Jake was telling me about how he recently got married (they eloped, so no guests) and how his wife (also 26, I think) is awesome, but a bit wild and unconventional and he is having trouble getting used to that.
For reference, my friend comes from a somewhat conservative Catholic background, I don't know if he is a Christian himself but he's always been a bit uptight on these things, albeit respectful to those with different lifestyles. Live and let live kind of guy.
Now, I'm a Wiccan, we are an unconventional religion, among other reasons because do our group rituals naked (this is relevant).
Suffice to say, I like unconventional people! I didn't say any of this out loud, just asked him to elaborate. It's also relevant to say that I don't talk about my religion much, so Jake doesn't know anything about Wicca, just that I am not Christian.
To my surprise, he said one of the things bothering him a little is how she is totally fine with 'exposing herself to others', for example she goes to spa with her friends and they don't wear clothes in the sauna, or she goes to the beach in the nudist areas with her girlfriends sometimes.
He said he isn't confortable being naked himself in those spaces, so he hasn't accompanied her, but he is at a loss on how to talk to her about it and understand her better. He asked me if I had any ideas.
Here is where maybe my answer made me an asshole. I said, look, there's nothing wrong with feeling free to show off your body, and in this day and age the only reason to feel insecure about it is Christian culture making us ashamed of our bodies.
Back in the day, the women who were free to express themselves were called witches and burned at the stake, and it's a shame she's not a witch, because she has the attitude of a witch down!
He looked mildly upset at my remark and said his wife is not a witch, she'll never be a witch, she's a good woman, she just has a wild side and he wants to talk to her about how to understand it.
I said being a witch is not a bad thing and he repeated, with a slightly angry tone, 'My wife is NOT a witch! Stop saying she is a witch!'.
I honestly was not expecting this reaction and the raised voice scared me a bit, so I said 'ok ok' and switched the topic. We kept discussing other stuff for a while but I could tell he was still a little on edge.
Before we parted ways, he said thanks for the conversation. I said no worries, I hope you had a good time, and he made a small grimace and said 'yeahh'. We waved to each other and went home.
I keep thinking about our conversation and I really appreciate Jake, he is an old friend. Did I say something inappropriate?
Did I insult his wife somehow? I'm a witch, I don't think it's a bad thing, I was trying to praise his wife for being countercultural and confident in herself. AITA?
Perhaps you should educate yourself about religions around the world. You blame Christians for society's body issues but fail to look at how Islam views women's bodies and many sects demand they cover up head to toe.
It's too bad you kept saying she might be a witch because your friend took that literally, as you intended, and as a Christian that would be a deal breaker. It's okay for him to have whatever boundaries he chooses & YTA for trampling all over & past his boundaries.
Weird that he would marry someone he barely knows and who makes him uncomfortable. You are NTA as far as I’m concerned, but sounds like Jake is reeling from changes and can’t engage with your views. He may think you’re AH. I don’t.
ETA. Wow lotta witch haters on here. All this religious talk is beside the point. Your old friend Jake rushed into a marriage with a woman whose behavior makes him uncomfortable and he decided to ask you about her behavior because—vaginas??
Your reaction about witches was highly entertaining and nobody can help Jake until he admits he needs help.
YTA in this one, sorry. Jake doesn’t know you’re Wiccan. For many non-Wiccans, and especially for Christians/Christian-raised people, witch is an insult often referring to a spiteful woman.
He thought you were insulting his wife, it’s natural he got upset. You might want to think about the idea that different words mean different things in different contexts and to different people.