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Woman separates from husband and gets 'harassed' in his family's holiday group text.

Woman separates from husband and gets 'harassed' in his family's holiday group text.

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When this woman is annoyed with her in-laws, she asks Reddit:

'AITA for ruining the annual family holiday tradition by calling it a sham and causing my sister to not be able to see her long-distance boyfriend?'

My in-laws have a tradition where they invite the entire family for a free two-week vacation to their native country. After I married my husband, they wanted our families to be close, so they began inviting my family along too and funding it.

My husband and I have been separated for 8 months. Our families only found out 2 months ago, but they all assume we will work things out. So, my MIL made a group chat to plan the family holiday.

I assumed she had added me as a mistake, so I left but she kept repeatedly adding me back and eventually my SIL called me out on constantly leaving.

I informed them that I wouldn’t be joining in and I privately asked my family to also leave the chat. They refused to and instead, everyone started hounding me in the group chat.

They were laying on the guilt trip thick and I probably would’ve given in if my SIL and sister didn’t drag my husband, who had been silent until then, into it.

He said: “It’s fine. I doubt [my name] can keep this charade up until August but if it helps, I promise to stay on the opposite end of the house at all times”.

I haven’t spoken to or seen my husband in 8 months. So, his message just infuriated me. I sent a very long and very rude message back. At one point I wrote that this family holiday was a sham because we weren’t family anymore.

Then I left the group chat before anyone could respond. I didn’t get added back again but I did get a message from my sister who said my MIL had removed all of my family after formally uninviting them from the holiday.

My sister is devastated because her long-distance boyfriend lives where we were going to be staying so this was her chance to finally see him in person again.

My parents are mad at me because they felt like I had embarrassed them and ruined their friendship with my in-laws. My in-laws are upset/hurt with me for the family comment.

So, AITA?

Let's find out.

dubiouspeoplepleaser writes:

ESH you could have politely told her you weren’t coming since you are separated. Instead you just left.

Then when she didn’t take the hint you went off on her. The woman who has done nothing but include you and your relatives in her family.

For her the break is a fresh one, just two months, and so she could have been more tactful, but she also still considers you family. It isn’t uncommon for in-laws to also experience grief when a couple break up.

Your family are just entitled and greedy, wanting a free ride.

beatingsgalore writes:

First your sister's love life is not your responsibility. Her hurt and disappointment are understandable, but not something you need to feel guilty about.

For the rest of it INFO: To be honest your husband's comment didn't come across to me as terrible, more like he was trying to accommodate you at the vacation and agree with you that it is a sham. But I feel I am missing information.

Are your parents and inlaws friends without you? Would they have still been allowed to go if you didn't go? Would they still have been friends when you get divorced? Lots of people have excellent relationships with past inlaws, just because you get divorced doesn't mean you have to give up people you have grown to love.

Did you intend to hurt the inlaws? Were they doing something wrong, or had they been doing something to hurt you or your relationship to cause you to snap that way?

Well, seems like OP is kind of being an AH. Hard to say. What do YOU think?

Sources: Reddit
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