'AITA for asking my wife to cook my mom a ham, and cooking it myself when she said no?' UPDATED
"AITA for asking my wife to cook my mom a ham, and cooking it myself when she said no?"
My wife is a very traditional person. She is big on things being done the 'proper' way and to be honest can be kind of rigid. My mom doesn't care about proper, but is just a spoiled brat who wants what she wants. Needless to say they get on like oil and water.
Growing up we always had a ham with thanksgiving dinner because that is what my mom wanted. She would cook a turkey, but she only ate the ham. My mom no longer hosts Thanksgiving now that I am older and have my own family.
She was never that into it to begin with, so would rather just go to a friends house. she won't come to our house because her and my MIL can't be in the same room, and we don't have ham.
Well this year the stars aligned. MIL will be out of state. My moms friend isn't hosting due to a family medical emergency, so I asked my wife if I could invite my mom. She said sure, but no ham.
I called my mom and she said she was only coming if she could have a ham. She even offered to cook it and bring it herself. I said I had to check with my wife and she freaked out and said my mom can't cook anything. I asked my wife to cook the ham, and she yelled at me.
At this point I was sick of the bullshit. I told my mom to come and promised there would be a ham. I went out and bought it myself and told my wife I would be cooking it. My wife is not ok with me cooking during holidays because it is 'her job' so she got emotional. I told her I was doing it and it wasn't up for discussion.
She called me a mama's boy and called my mom stupid (because ham is only for Christmas and Easter) She even brought my daughter into the fight and they were joking about things they could do to the ham. Now I'm standing guard, my mom will be here in a few hours, and my wife is obviously pissed. AITA?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
superfastmomma writes:
NTA. Your wife sure is. If all it takes to be kind is to let grandma bring a ham over, who the heck cares. Your wife is being mean.
mouseattack writes:
Especially after OP specifically asked to spend the holiday with his mom after years of doing it all his wife’s way with MIL. Is she really that set on spoiling the holiday for OP? He wants his mom there. For one year, just let him do the small thing that makes that possible. NTA.
I n f o- you called your mother a spoiled brat. How many times has your wife been on the receiving end of this behavior? Your daughter?
Edit: YTA. I read your comments, and your poor wife. Your mother sounds like a genuine nightmare, and I wouldn't want to host her, either. Won't talk to your wife because she can't insult her? You're not a treat either- your wife deserves better than someone who doesn't defend her.
Alarmed-Delay-1926 OP replied:
Lmao you read my comments and think my mom is so much worse than my wife who is trying to convince her the food is drugged, my daughter who said my mom only has things because she got them with her pussy, and my MIL who blindly defends a stalker. Some people are just determined to hate on MILs I guess
OP left this update in the comments:
My mom came and was in a surprisingly good mood. I chose ham instead of turkey so I got some death glares and my mom had to sit on a broken chair. They did tease her that there were laxatives in the ham but thankfully she didn’t believe them. We had a pretty nice holiday. My mom went home and my wife’s probably texting MIL about everything my mom did wrong
Here's how people replied:
Dude wtf. None of that is normal!! NONE OF IT. Your daughter and wife are awful & you have no backbone. Jesus I hope your mom cuts contact.
Your wife sounds awful. And her behavior is rubbing off on your daughter because she thinks this is normal. It’s not.
Dude seriously, your wife (and her family) are nasty bullies. What the heck.