Man tells girlfriend to apologize for asking him to wash his hands. AITA?
Houshold Hygiene Havoc
Some people just can't get back to sleep. When they are up, they are up. This can be super fustrating when you are awoken at odd hours of the night. One man was frustrated when his girlfriend woke him up in the wee hours of the morning and then scolded him when he didn't wash his hands after...well... his wee.
AITA for not washing my hands at 3AM
Last night, my significant other (28F) woke me (29M) up at around 3AM to tell me that I had thrown our dog off the bed while sleeping. I was a bit annoyed that she woke me up, so I went to the kitchen to grab a glass of water and use the restroom. I tried to stay as sleepy as possible to fall back asleep quickly.
When I returned to bed, my SO told me to wash my hands, as she had apparently heard me in the restroom and noticed that I forgot to wash them in my half-asleep state.
I told her that I just wanted to go back to sleep and didn't want to argue since I had sprained my ankle a bit earlier in the evening. However, she continued to ask me to wash my hands repeatedly. After some back and forth, I decided to sleep in the guest room instead of our bed.
I am aware that I should wash my hands after using the restroom, but I was annoyed that my SO wouldn't drop the issue, and I couldn't fall back asleep until about 5:30AM.
The next morning, I woke up in a bad mood, and my SO asked me jokingly why I had slept in the guest room. I told her that I had slept there because she woke me up for the dog and wouldn't drop the handwashing issue.
I expected an apology from her since I thought waking me up for the dog was inappropriate. However, she told me that it was my fault for not washing my hands and that I should have tried harder to fall back asleep. She said I was being dramatic and needed to get over it.
I got frustrated because I had asked her to drop the issue several times during the night, but she had ignored me. I got angry and told her that I should have washed my hands but that waking me up for the dog's comfort was ridiculous and that she should have dropped it when I asked her to.
I then told her not to talk to me until she had something else to say besides 'you are overreacting.' She left for work, and I am now typing this in my home office, feeling upset.
We are at a standstill where I feel like I need an apology, and she feels like I am being dramatic. I tend to get angry quickly when I am sleep-deprived, so I know that I may be in the wrong here. I need some outside perspective, so Reddit, am I the a**hole?
This is what readers had to say to the OP:
NTA. If the woman was truly concerned about germs, she wouldn't be letting the dog sleep on the bed. Does she clean his paws before he enters the house with the same vehemence she expects you to wash your hands?
I can guarantee a dog has walked through many unsavoury things prior to bringing it back to your floor, inside your house, that you may be then tracking around yourself on the soles of your own feet. Not the dogs fault, just facts.
Also, waking you up at that time of the morning? Unfair. I suggest the next time something like 'dog evicted from bed' happens, wake her up at bum-o'clock in the morning. See how she likes it.
NTA before even getting to the hand washing part. She woke you up to tell you that you disturbed the dog in your sleep? GTFO.
Waking me up to tell me foolishness like that is a deal breaker. Arguing with you in the middle of the night about anything less than life threatening (and no, a little pee pee hand is not life threatening) is the icing on a sh*t cake.
NTA. Hahaha I know EXACTLY what you’re talking about! Doing anything other than the absolute minimum runs the risk of triggering an accidental premature ‘wake up’. While it’s definitely not the most hygienic, I find it hard to draw the line here as dogs are extremely dirty and they’re already sleeping in your bed.
To be clear - always wash your hands (it’s the right thing to do) but in certain situations like now - where you’re already hopping into bed next to an animal that very likely didn’t wash its a**hole immediately after it sh*t but jumped on your couch / bed right after (f*ck it).
Don’t worry about it - anyone here saying otherwise is either missing the fact about the dogs sleeping in the bed or completely ignoring the fact that your partner woke you up and you’re concerned with getting back to bed.
ESH. You both seem petty and have issues to work out.
ESH. You know what would have stopped the argument was just washing your hands. Sure she shouldn’t have woken you up about the dogs comfort that would annoy me too. I probably would have used that moment to say to my partner, why is that a pressing issue at 3 am or the dog will be okay, then I’d roll over and go back to sleep.
Then the next morning you could have said, it’s hard for me to fall back asleep so I didn’t appreciate you waking me up about the dog. Should we find a new sleeping arrangements for them?
But you didn’t instead you just passive aggressively and annoyedly got water and went to the bathroom without washing your hands. Then once she commented on that, instead of washing your hands you wanted to bicker with her about something you know you should have done.
I think this is a dumb argument that doesn’t need to be a standstill or a hill to die on. I think you should say something to the tune of “Sorry about last night I really hate being woken up in the middle of the night.
Do you need to find a different sleeping arrangement for the dog so this doesn’t happen again? And I promise to start washing my hands after using the bathroom.” You didn’t overreact but you certainly acted passive aggressive which does no one any good.
The OP responded to this one with surprisng objectivity:
Great comment, this is the perspective i needed this morning. I sent her an apology text. I tend to pick the passive aggresive way when i am half asleep and it's not a good look.