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Woman bans MIL from house after she makes comments about baby daddy's 'mugshot.' UPDATED

Woman bans MIL from house after she makes comments about baby daddy's 'mugshot.' UPDATED


You teach people how to treat you, and that process can be very uncomfortable.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she was wrong for banning her MIL from her house after a horrible encounter. She wrote:

"AITA for refusing to allow my MIL into our home until she apologizes for her comments about my past?"

So, I wanted to use a throwaway account for this post. I (27F) made a lot of mistakes when I was younger and at 16, I had a baby daughter. Her father was a lot older and a very bad guy, and was sent away to prison before she had been born. We of course have no contact today. I'm ashamed of my past, and do everything in my power to better myself and provide for my daughter.

For example I missed out on my GED when I was younger, so I studied to achieve it later in life and I'm currently part time at college while working. My daughter is 11, healthy and flourishing in school and I couldn't be prouder of her. Six years ago I met my current husband (27m) and he's just a wonderful human being.

He's been nothing but supportive to me and an amazing person to be around my daughter, so much so that after we married two years ago, he formally adopted my daughter. The only problem is his mom. She's very conservative, being a born again Christian, and the interactions we've had together have never been good.

I've always been very aware she dislikes me as a result of my past and didn't want my husband to marry me or adopt my girl, but on both sides we were able to be civil enough, to a degree that I imagined she'd just accepted it. My husband doesn't have the best relationship with her either but tries his best, and I've always supported him though that. Even so, I dislike her and I know she hates me.

Recently though, she said something really awful. It was during a family meal - she came over with her husband (my husband's stepfather) and we ate alongside my daughter. My MIL kept staring at my daughter to such an extent that she was visibly uncomfortable.

I asked her politely why she kept looking at her like that, to which my MIL coldly asked if she looked anything like her father, and whether we could compare her face to his mugshot. Needless to say I was floored, my husband was furious and my daughter actually cried, which made me start bawling too.

My MIL smirked and just left with her husband, and from then my husband and I refused her access to our home. This was a month ago. A few family members have started admonishing us for keeping her away as long as we have. My reply is that she hasn't apologised and so we don't want her back, but they're saying we're being cruel and not being understanding of "her moral values".

She's apparently said she's sorry about what happened, but crucially she hasn't said that to me. Am I being a major AH? Or am I within my rights here?

Redditors responded in the comments.

HappyTrifler wrote:

NTA. Don’t allow her to have contact with your child again. And when anyone says anything about it, say it’s because you were appalled at your MIL’s lack of Christian values.

Specifically say you don’t want a fake Christian around your daughter and until your MIL sincerely apologizes and proves she can actually act like a Christian then she can’t have any contact. Throw that woman’s fake religious ‘moral values’ right back in her face.

OP responded:

For sure, I tried to extend an olive branch to her (as did my husband) but she's thrown it back at us so much that I'll never allow her to hurt my daughter again.

Artistic_Tough5005 wrote:

NTA. Her “moral” values? She is married to a man who isn’t your husband's dad…hmm.

OP responded:

Who knows how she justifies that lol.

deadlygummibear wrote:

OMFG NTA! I want to physically knock her ass out 🤬 as soon as I read “very conservative born again Christian” I already knew she was an AH. You’re a nicer person than me because I would’ve physically dragged her out of my house and fought the urge to backhand her. Since your husband doesn’t like her anyway why not cut ties COMPLETELY.

You’re his wife and that’s his now daughter and that evil hag made you both cry. Also cut ties with those that defend her disgusting UNCHRISTIAN behavior. I am so sorry you had to deal with that trash.

ClueAppropriate1087 wrote:

WTF NTA. What is wrong with her??? She needs to reach out to you and your husband and apologize, and then apologize to your daughter. The family members saying it’s cruel are delusional. Basically taunting a child and making her feel uncomfortable in her own home. Does she have Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

After receiving lots of support, OP jumped on with an update:

EDIT: I forgot to mention that my MIL has since been badmouthing me to the rest of the family (even more than she did before). She still has not said sorry to me though.

OP is NTA at all, her MIL is a big one though.

Sources: Reddit
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