"Fiancé caught messaging a married woman during his bachelor party."

I need advice. My F26 fiancé M27 and I are getting married this May. He had his bachelor party over the weekend. Well, last night I was doing his eyebrows and be fell asleep. He was snoring something hilarious, but I didn't have my phone to take a video. So I picked up his phone. While taking the video, a message popped up.

I wish I was joking. From a married woman with kids he used to work with. The text read, "so glad to have been apart of your bachelor party ♥️." I was confused, because it was an all guys event in the middle of the woods. I admit, curiosity got the better of me and I opened it. My mistake, but I genuinely didn't think I would find what I did.

They had been flirting, really heavily, the night of his bachelor party. He was egging on her on to come. Saying he was sad she wasn't there. She in turn, said things such as, "the Mrs. wouldn't like it if I were there." "I would have stolen you away from the boys, they wouldn't have liked that." To which he responded, "would you now?." She then said, "our last shot." To which he liked with a heart.

I told him immediately what I saw, and apologized for snooping. However, I was really uncomfortable with this. Even if he was absolutely sh!t faced, I still did not think it was okay. He denied it being flirty for a while, saying the last shot thing was in reference to alcohol, but given the context I don't think it was.

He has since apologized for disrespecting our relationship and is asking me for another chance. What do I do? I love him so much, I still do. But I am hurt. He says he's never met up with her, and that they just started flirting out of the blue, but that makes zero sense to me. Any advice? Should we call off the wedding?

What do you think she should do? This is what top commenters had to say:

MiserableCaregiver64 said:

The universe is literally telling you not to marry this man. You were supposed to pick up rhat phone at the exact time you did and saw that message.

I would still leave the man who I thought was my soulemate if I saw messages like that. He has cheated the second he texted her. He was literally thinking about her in that moment and messaged without a second thought about you. They have definitely done the deed, but even him messaging, I'd say bye!

OP responded:

The really sh!tty thing. I looked at the time stamps. While he was texting her this, he was texting me about us having babies, and how much he loves me.

Glittering_Job_7996 said:

He never would have told you if you didn’t see it. It’s not a mistake because they kept messaging. In my opinion that’s cheating and I wouldn’t get married. Might sound harsh but I know my deal breakers and standards To me, alcohol isn’t an excuse and it would’ve escalated if you hadn’t caught him

[deleted] said:

If this was your best friend what would you advise? Personally? I would cancel the wedding. It’s better to bail on a cheater now because going through a divorce would suck even harder. Also there is no chance that the “our last shot” comment was about anything other than them sleeping together. He is not loyal when he’s drunk and he’s messaging her while sober.

backagainlook said:

Girl he’s cheating what’s the question here

And dragonrider1965 said:

From experience I can tell you that when a guy does this and begs you for another chance they respect you less when you give it to them . They then justify cheating on you in the future because they don’t respect you.

One day later, she shared this first update:

First of all, thank you to everyone for all of the support. It has been a rough 24 hours. I did not think this would blow up the way it did. Unfortunately, this is very real. And even more upsetting this is not the first incident that has made me wonder.

Back when I was in recovery after treatment, I was finally able to be intimate with him. I was not in remission yet, but my doctor gave me the go ahead. I wanted to, it's very important to me in a relationship. Whenever I would initiate, he would push it off. Say, hey, let's try again next week, etc. After a long discussion, he asked to sleep with other people.

I was shell shocked, and I decided to move past it. But now, seeing these messages, I know that was not random. The fact that during the confrontation he asked for a second chance, stating he'd be more faithful and more loyal is enough. Cancer drastically changes your view of yourself. For so long, I thought I was just lucky to have someone who stood by me. I now know that is the bare minimum.

Currently, I am at my parents, taking some time away. It's over. When I get back I will be ending it. I will post again to let everyone know how it goes. Thank you all.

A few weeks later, she shared this second, final update:

These past few weeks have been the most challenging in my life thus far. I broke up with him. The wedding is official off and I am single for the first time in years. When I broke up with him, it was so hard. Not only was he expecting it (good) but I also again, asked why. He said that over these past five years, he has always been in the mindset of the grass is greener in regards to out relationship.

And now that he does not have me, he says his life is incomplete with out me. I call bullsh!t. To me...I do not think he really knew what he wanted. Which makes it even more painful that I knew exactly what I wanted, and needed.

He did fulfill most of my expectations for our relationship, I will give him that. He proposed for Christ sake, apparently with wanting other people in mind. A true gut punch. Most nights, I cry myself to sleep. It's been very confusing.

I contacted his friends who were at the bachelor party and even provided them with the screenshots I took. Maybe a little petty, but I wanted them all to know the truth of what happened. Most are very good guys and are pissed as hell at him...some are not even talking to him. Apparently, he was with them the whole night, but who am I to truly know. I also do not want to think about that too hard, nor should I have to.

I have definitely reached the point where I am angry. Someone I loved betrayed not only me, but our relationship in such an easy fashion. He would have never told me if I had not found the messages. To make matters worse, they were still messaging even after the uber "flirtatious mistake," so he can kiss my booty. Is it wrong I am mad that it appears not many people are reading him the riot act?

I did not send a message to the woman's husband. I stalked Facebook however, and it now says she is single. On my end, personally, I have accepted a new job as a barn and boarding manager for horses. Morgan, horse girls unite! This allowed me to have a place to move, and get away. I've found peace here with my horses. On February 13th, I made it to my one year in remission mark. I am healing.

Finally. Although I am heartbroken, and angry, being here with my animals, and with the comfort of my friends as allowed me to start finding peace. Not just in this sh!t situation, but given everything I have been through mentally and physically this past year, it's time I focus on loving myself.

Thank you to everyone for the love, support, and encouragement. You all helped me be tbe bad a$$ woman I needed to be. Much love, stay healthy ♥️