"Help!! Husband thinks I cheated, but I didn't and now he wants divorce."

I (35F) went to party with my female friends 3 days ago, i got carried away and drank alcohol with them and the party also had other men there. The next day after partying i woke up at my friend's house with her younger brother giving me food which freaked me out.

Im 100% sure we didn't hook up, as my female friend reassured me that nothing happened between me and her brother and that her and me had only slept in the same bed. After I reached my house i told my (33M)husband about what had happened, because he had dropped several miss calls on my phone.

Apparently after asking, one of my friends informed him that she saw me and a guy(my female friend's brother) leaving the party together, i tried to explain but after calmly listening to me he said he got it, he fed our 9 y/o daughter, kissed her on the cheek and left the house to stay with his sister.

He also blocked me on everything. I thought we could talk it over so i decided to give him some space and visit him a week after but today his sister came by and gave me the divorce papers with a note saying "he's done with me"

I do not know what im supposed to do, I do not want divorce at all, i love him dearly, our daughter also loves him and i told him i did not cheat but he doesn't trust me, please!! Any advice is helpful I'm also Spanish so please forgive my broken English.

Edit - my husband doesn't drink alcohol and before we got married, he got me to get rid of my alcohol addiction, he told me he doesn't want to bound me so i could drink 6 times a year but strictly only when he was around to lookout for me.

What do you think? This is what top commenters had to say about the situation:

Troyler4Life said:

HEY OP. He is mad at you about the drinking

judgingyoujudgingme said:

Honestly, I agree with you. Based on her edit this makes 100% sense. OP has problems with alcohol. Probably shouldn’t be touching it at all, not even once. Best of luck OP. Addiction is a disease. Even if it’s 6 times a year, if you can’t control those 6 times, you have an problem.

Lost-Sea4916 said:

I gotta be honest…even if you didn’t technically cheat on him, I wouldn’t want to be married to someone who drinks so heavily they black out God knows where and doesn’t answer my phone calls or come home. That’s an issue.

And Ok_Actuary_7831 said:

That's alcoholism for you. "He got me to get rid of my alcohol addiction" LOL No he didn't! You weren't even sure if you slept with the younger brother until someone else confirmed it. Maybe the divorce will be the bottom you need to let alcohol go for good.

In response to many commenters' request for more info., OP offered more details on what happened that night:

So people were asking more background and detail to the situation so here, before me and my husband started dating i had a huge alcoholic addiction which i had got from my ex gf (she was my first relationship). Im not a heavy drinker and i just get easily drunk in just two shots so (150-175ml)

I met my SIL there, she used to accompany her friends to drinking (she would rarely drink though), my husband would also follow along my SIL to keep her safe, (yes this was something he did to SIL also) This is all 13 years ago.

She then shared this first update on the situation:

Back to now, i went through the replies on my post and decided to meetup with my SIL so she could get me in contact with my husband, as i don't want the divorce to proceed.

After we met up she talked to me about what had happened and she called my husband, he told her to tell me to send our daughter to their house, so he could meet our daughter and talk to her, he said he would talk to me about the divorce later.

Around 10am i dropped my daughter at my SIL's house and she just came back right now, after she came back i asked my daughter what had happened. From what i could comprehend.

When she went to my husband he was wearing shades because of the crying i think and my husband called her to his room and explained to her about alcohol, took her to the market where I he bought 3 alcohol bottles infront of her and then back home he proceeded to show himself flushing one of the bottles after opening it.

He also made her smell the other two bottles after opening them and made her flush down the other two bottles, saying that she should do the same if she ever sees these alcohol bottles at homes or at any family gatherings because they are poison and they break relationships. Then he talked to her about what had happened after he had left and asked her if she had any problems.

The main thing then came up about him asking her that whether she was happy staying with me and whether she wanted "papa to stay together with mommy or not" and im devastated to say this but my daughter didn't give him a proper answer and she told him "but mommy did something bad right?"

I have no idea about what happened after this because my husband told her not to tell me. My husband had unblocked my number and he called me telling me to meet him regarding our divorce papers and honestly i broke down and tried to explain everything to him again and he just kept on saying fine, he said he would rather see through my actions and not my words.

I have no idea about what to tell him tommorow because he doesn't seem to be taking my apology seriously and i have no idea how to express to him that it would not happen again.

I know a lot of people criticized me about my drinking habit but i after going through the replies there were barely any people who actually went ahead and told me how to approach my husband which im still confused about.

Edit: yes the main reason he told me he was angry at me was because i had got drunk and he believes i didn't cheat as he said he couldn't see me being advantage of when he could've prevented it.

Edit 2: i also only had two shots in the party, As the alcohol was too hard on me (more concentrated in the drink) it caused me to black out.

Edit 3: no i had two shots my bad its around 150-175ml, just checked.

She then shared this second update:

He came by yesterday in the afternoon, by this time i had already left my daughter with my SIL because he wanted a 1 to 1 talk between us. He cooked lunch for us and we ate for 5 -10mins quietly, he didn't look like he was going to talk first so i went ahead showing him that i had been to therapist ( i went to therapist day before yesterday, 5-6 hours after i made a post here).

I told him i won't drink anymore ever, not even once a year. I also showed him my plan and appointments i had booked in the AA rehabilitation center in our city, told him i would become a better mother and wife for our daughter and for him. (This whole time he was listening to me quietly while eating)

There was this awkard silence again for a few moments and then he told me, "good" and asked me whether i had removed the friends that had invited me to the party, i told him i didn't , but after this i Instantly messaged those friends of mine saying we can't talk anymore and I blocked them infront of him.

He then asked me my thought process that led to me to make the decision to drink there without him. I told him everything about what i had thought. He then got up, went to his car, gave me a paper stating that if i ever drank alcohol again after what had happened that night, he would get full custody of our daughter if we got divorced.

He then told me to think about it carefully and he would give me time, stated that if i signed it, our relationship would go back to how it was before the drinking incident. I immediately signed (yes i do know what i was getting into) and gave him the paper, he also told me to read it out loud and he recorded it on his phone.

After this was done he told me to give him the divorce papers back and he threw them in the bin, he then asked me if i had any questions, i asked him about his dad. this is what he told me - in brief his dad was an alcoholic and his food addiction has caused him to leave his alcohol. His mom divorced and he is currently trying to atone what he has done by sending his mother money he gets from his business.

The atmosphere was much lighter after this and he told me it is necessary that both of us take a break from this and he needed time to recover, the break would last 2 weeks,he went to SIL's house and then drove back our daughter and left her with me.

Later in the night he called me saying he's going back to Norway with his mum for 2 weeks, he said we should keep in touch on text and i should call him if there is any emergency. (He's half Norwegian and spanish)

We are still in contact with each other over text, im now continuing with my life as i was before, going to work and leaving my daughter at school, have a health checkup today at 3pm because people mentioned its not normal for me to get drunk that easily so im just checking for precaution if there is anything wrong in my body.