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'I found out my FWB was secretly married, so I decided to tell her husband.' UPDATED 3X

'I found out my FWB was secretly married, so I decided to tell her husband.' UPDATED 3X


"My (26M) former FWB (28F) was hiding she's married, should I let her husband know?"

TLDR; I was FWB with a girl, she ghosted, now I find out her real identity and that she's married. Should I tell her husband about it? We met on tinder, were seeing each other just for sex for about 2 months, then she disappeared without a trace.

The other day friend introduces me to her friend and her husband, and I see that girl, with terrified face expression as I approach and intentionally greet her with fake name (she lied even about her name) before correcting myself and telling her real name...

Her hubby is already a bit suspicious, and he should be... if only he knew that we were meeting about a year and half ago and they're married for 5 years... She's suddenly blowing up my phone again to just keep it shush but IDK... should I? I just ignored her so far... What should I do? I feel like I should tell?

What do you think? This is what top commenters had to say:

ButterscotchAsleep48 said:

Yep, you need to tell him. Wouldn’t you want someone to tell you if your wife had been cheating on you? It’s the right thing to do. She betrayed her husband, and you’re essentially letting it happen if you don’t tell him

CapriciousPenguin said:

You should tell him. That is the right thing to do

failedopportunities said:

Would you want to know if your wife was cheating on you? I have a feeling you would. Yes, tell him and provide proof. Give him the right to make a proper decision about what he wants to do here.

Oohkbutnotokay said:

You know you should. Man is laying with a snake, unaware he has already been bitten. You will not have been the first. Help him make you the last, at least.

He later shared this series of updates:

UPDATE: Thanks to everyone for support. I feel like telling him is the right thing to do and you just confirmed it. I already told my friend about it and shown her our texts before and also her asking me to keep it silent now, and my friend also thinks I should speak. I have everything ready, I sent the guy friend request on FB (barely found him). I however plan to do it IRL if he is willing to meet with me.

UPDATE 2: She just called me at work! Long story short, he mentioned her my friend request, and she apparently admitted to him that we have something from past over the text and said that is why I'm trying to talk to him. Now he apparently left home early and will wait for her to come home tonight...

She also apologized to me and told me she understands my decision. My friend will later verify how many of this is true... and I'll keep you updated!

FINAL UPDATE!: The guy accepted my friend request and sent me his number telling me to call him. And I did!

He wanted to verify what she told him. She told him it was year and half ago, but she also claimed that we had one time thing when she was pretty drunk and vulnerable, which he feels is a lie.

I told him it's not the case, and I told him it lasted for around 2 months, and that I can prove it too. To which he got emotional and said they never had issues but he often felt something is off. He had that feeling all along but was even upset at himself for doubting her and not trusting her more...

He hung up when he started to cry, I sent him the evidence of this lasting for way longer than just once and that she wasn't drunk at all. He thanked me for it and asked me to please send him EVERYTHING no matter how nasty it is because he may need it for divorce process. He made his decision and will be leaving her.

And he confirmed me they didn't have issues and weren't broken up while it lasted, as some of commenters here claimed. He would probably forgive her, but it hurt him that he would have never know about it if I wasn't reaching out to him. Then another thing is that she still didn't give him full truth, she lied to him yet again.

She even asked him to block me so they can "move on from this" after which he got conclusion that he really should talk to me. And after talking to me he said he even doubts I was the only one she cheated with. Most heartbreaking for him is in his words "my wife's sidepiece cares about me more than my wife who I knew since I was 9yo"

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