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I’m (33)M and wife (30)F been together for 11 years and I thought everything was good between us until recently
for some context I work as a dispatcher for truckers and it’s a pretty good job I get good benefits and I make enough where we can both be comfortable My wife had a job with building gaming computers but she lost job due to cutbacks so I’ve been the sole earner and I’ve been picking up a lot of hours.
One day my car battery died on me so I had my wife take me to work and when we made it to the parking lot I saw my coworker Andrew I waved at him and he walked over to say hello and that when I introduced him to wife and she got the car to shake his hand.
he look at me and said that you never told me that your wife was so beautiful she blushed and I laughed not thinking about it saying ya I’m lucky to have her. we both walked in to work after I kissed my wife goodbye
few days later I got my car good and running so I’ve been going to work like Normal but during lunch I couldn’t help but notice my wife’s car in the parking lot so I walk towards it and see her and Andrew talking and eating lunch in her car I got upset but kept it cool and knock on her window she open door and said “Oh I forgot to tell you that me and Andrew were having lunch today together”
then Andrew said “I hope your not angry” I took deep breath and said “No” and I turned around and walk to the car because if I said anything else it was going to start a argument but I can feel my wife getting frustrated because I walk away like that so later that day when I got home she blew up one saying that I embarrassed her in front Andrew.
I said “Why do you even care and when did you even start hangout out with him” She said “I’m a grown ass women and I don’t have to tell you shit” and then walk off and since then she been distant and I notice she’s been on her phone more calling and texting her “friends” but I just know that it’s Andrew.
I don’t want to accuse her then I’m wrong and I look like an a-hole but at the same time I want to say something I don’t know what to do
Update: I talk to my friend and he gave me a apple AirTag I’m gonna put it in my wife’s car and trail to see if I can find anything and collect Evidence so I don’t get screwed in court if we do end up divorcing
but a part of me doesn’t want to do it because I don’t know if I can handle the pain me and her went through a lot and been through a lot and I can’t believe she really going to throw it away this easily
What do you think is going on here? And what's the best way for him to handle it?
Dude, she went to your work to have lunch.. not with you.. but with another man who she just met. If I were you, I’d confront Andrew and tell him to stay the fuck away from my wife. Also, you should take your wife’s phone when she isn’t expecting it and go through it. What would she think if you showed up at her work to have lunch with her coworker? You need to nip this in the bud IMMEDIATELY.
Dude, Andrews vacation might be at your house while your at work…
She had a lunch date at your job? Nope, nope, nope. You already know homie
Get a VAR in her car and listen to her conversations.
What the hell, you are being a doormat. It is not acceptable in any way period! For your wife to talk to you like that too wow. I’m sorry but honestly this is like divorce ground.
First off I like to thank all of you guys for the support and advice I really help me. Quick recap so my wife been hanging out with my coworker Andrew without telling me and when I found out she basically started getting distant from me so I suspected that she’s been cheating on me with him.
When I started to suspect it my friend gave me his Airdrop and I hid it in my wife’s car and followed her. She told me that she was going to see a friend but I didn’t believe so I followed her in my friends car to make sure she couldn’t spot me and after a 20 minute drive she drove up to a hotel. I’m not gonna lie I felt sick and my heart kept pounding.
I was really hoping that I was wrong and she was seeing friend but instead I saw Andrew waving at my girlfriend and then I see her running and jumping on this guy and kissing him. I was so hurt and angry I wanted to get out and beat Andrew @$$ and tell my wife to get all of her sh!t out the house but I didn’t instead I took out my phone and took some pictures and drove off when I saw them walk in the hotel.
I went home and cried scream yelled. I was feeling too many emotions at once. I called my friend and came over and I showed him the pictures and started crying again. I scream “11 years down the drain” my friend gave me a hug and told me to get a lawyer and to keep stacking up evidence against her. I didn’t know if I can keep up the face anymore but I told my friend I’ll try.
So during these past weeks I’ve been stacking up evidence and keeping my distance I’ve seen them go to restaurants movies hotels and every time it hurt but I tuff it out and she always told me she going out with her friends or family but I never called her and said okay.
I thought I can keep it up for at least a few more days especially because the lawyer I’m seeing that I have more then evidence to make sure I win and keep everything when we divorce but I think I messed up yesterday.
Yesterday was my birthday and I wasn’t really feeling it my wife didn’t even tell me happy birthday but her parents did and when I went to work my co workers got me a cake and some gifts I tried holding back the tears because for a moment I forgot about everything at least until I saw Andrew.
He got me a gift and I fake a smile and said thank you and when I open it was the comic Batman: Death of the Family and I actually surprised because no one at work new I was into comics and DC was my favorite and when I told Andrew that he said my wife told him and then all I saw was red.
Next thing I know my coworkers are holding me back and Andrew is in the corner covering his nose and yelling “What the F!” And then I screamed “I know you’ve been sleeping with my wife” everyone got silent and look at Andrew and he tried explaining it to me but I didn’t care.
Then my boss came in and sent Andrew home and took me in his office and I told him everything and showed him some of the pictures. He apologized to me and gave a some time off to sort everything and he will deal with Andrew. Sh!t really went south when I got home and my wife was waiting and she blew up on saying that I was wrong for doing that to Andrew.
She talk him out of pressing charges for hitting him and kept yelling and yelling saying “Andrew makes me feel like a real women and treats me right and knows how to make me feel special” and I finally pop and just yelled “I don’t give a F” she look surprised and went silent and I kept going saying “If he makes you feel special go live with him and have him support you because I’m done”
And then she had the nerve to cry and say that she’s say sorry, plus she tried saying how Andrew caught her at a moment of weakness but I just took a deep breath and told her to get a lawyer because we’re getting a divorce and she really tried to apologize and said that she can’t afford one and that we need to work on us but I just look her and told her to pack up.
She kept crying and begging but I just got her suitcase and called her sister to come pick her up but she lock herself in the bathroom saying she won’t come out until I was willing to work thing out with her. I kept telling her that I didn’t want to work anything out and we need space because when I see her I feel angry and hurt and she finally got out and apologized.
Then she pack her stuff and waited outside for her sister. And now I’m finally in the house alone and I can’t stop crying I feel so many things and I just don’t know anymore I’m going to see my lawyer tomorrow.
And sorry if I was all over the place with my post I’m just feeling horrible and emotional but I am planning on seeing a therapist soon. I’ll definitely update everyone once all this blows over. I like to thank everyone again for the advice and support