So I met my husband (25M) while I was (22F) and we hit it off instantly. He was the man of my dreams he took me on date nights and made sure I was loved and gave me big gifts every so often telling me I was the only one for him. I believed this since we have been together for 4 years now and I've never had any issues, until he introduced his best friend who we will call Laura for privacy reasons.
I remember we had an argument because he didn't tell me about her for our whole relationship and he had been sneaking to see her and hang out with her at parties when I was sleeping, believing that he was working overtime. I was hurt by this and my first thought immediately went to infidelity, but I found all of their texts to be platonic after he willingly told me to look.
I thought she was nice at first. When I met her she spoke to me politely and said how lucky I was. Then there was a get together and my husband invited me along because it was her mother's anniversary and her family loved my husband because they had known eachother since they were kids.
I was okay with this and quite excited since I wanted to make more female friends and have girls' nights out to relieve my work stress since my job is difficult and I make 6 figures. I should also mention my husband works in an office job that doesn't pay a lot so I handle all of the house bills and chores while he is trying to get another job.
I walked into the house with my husband and she ran to him happy and immediately wrapped her whole body around his arm and dragged him off to the garden, he didn't even come to get me or anything after being dragged away so I went to the kitchen to ask for a drink where I was greeted by Laura's mother.
She is a lovely person, we generally had a nice talk about our own lives and she made sure I felt welcome.
The whole gathering was mainly nothing special till it got to the dinner. I sat down next to my husband and Laura walked up to me and asked me to move. I asked why since the only other spot available was next to her uncle and mother and since it was about her mother wouldn't she want to sit next to her?
Laura replied to the question with 'Cause I want to sit next to him.' I turned to my husband who just nodded and told me to move aswell saying that I was being childish and making a scene. At this point I generally felt my blood boiling
I stood up and told my husband that I felt uncomfortable and that I need to go to the bathroom and asked where it was. Laura told me and I left the table doing breathing exercises trying to calm down. I ended up messaging my brother from the bathroom and he said I was being jealous and that I was overreacting so I agreed and went back to the table to sit next to laura's mother.
The whole time they were laughing and it seemed that everything he said was funny to her and she kept rubbing his back touching his arms and saying how strong he had gotten and she would look at me smugly. The breaking point to all of this was when I put a bit of meat onto my plate and she said 'Are you really going to eat all of that?'
I froze in embarrassment while my husband and her laughed. Her mother stood up for me saying that was inappropriate and to treat guests with respect but she ignored it. Laura is very pretty and slim and works out so coming from her it hurt a lot.
I stood up from my chair and walked out the front door and called my dad. I told him to pick me up and that I'll explain why in the car. When I got in the car I broke down and told him everything. He said I was most likely overreacting but the situation was very odd and that I'm welcome to stay with him for the time being.
I thanked him and went back to our house. While I was getting comfortable my phone flooded up with messages from my husband and Laura. I read the messages and to my horror my husband was saying I ruined the whole dinner and that he was going to stay there for the night.
I then read what Laura said, saying I had ruined her night because of my 'pick me' behaviour. After doing research on that word its only filled me up with more anger. My husband came home around 5pm from Laura's and I immediately said leaving me and staying at another woman's house was disgusting and he started shouting that I'm over reacting again and that I need to go counselling for my jealousy issues.
For about a month everything was going okay again apart from that my husband got more distant and cold and I could feel that our argument wedged a gap in our marriage. Until I got a message from Laura this morning with a positive pregnancy result and a threat saying we should get divorced cause its my husbands.
I don't know what to do and I'm just venting cause I feel awful and I feel like I failed as a wife. I don't know if I should confront my husband and I'm thinking about it.
Edits:
I'm getting a lot of hate so I'll clear up some allegations. I'm 26 not 22. I met my husband when I was 22. I've not confronted him cause he's not home yet and I'm contemplating calling and asking there, but he's not replied to my goodmorning text since he woke up before me and went to work.
My dad owns a company that works with care homes not going to say a lot about it for my safety and that's how I make my money. No I wasn't earning 6 figures at 22, but I am now at 26. No my dad wasn't against me he was just confused because I was crying to him and wasn't making a lot of sense so he thought she was just being a bit touchy.
No Laura wasn't at our wedding and I have doubts they are child hood friends. I plan on messaging her mother to ask if they have known eachother for as long as they say and I'll be confronting my husband tomorrow when he gets home.
backwardsinhighheelz writes:
From the sounds of it he married your money and the lifestyle you could provide. But that's about it. He's probably been sleeping with her the whole time and just made sure to police his messages before handing over his phone.
Money-Juggernaut-662 OP responded:
That's what I'm thinking now because I only looked on whatsapp.
leavesandwood said:
Also get an STD test asap. While not the same scenario, I ended up with HPV from being assaulted and my cervix had precancerous lesions by the time I actually got checked out due to shame.
Money-Juggernaut-662 OP responded:
Omg, that's generally heartbreaking I wish you the best. ❤ and after I confront him I'll make sure to get checked.
First of all I want to say how much I am thankful for all the love and support I have received and the advice has helped me so much. It has really made me understand where I stand in my relationship and I finally know what I'm going to do. Now for the story:
My husband came home around 6am and threw his keys to the side and went upstairs without saying anything to me. I thought this was a little rude so I walked up after him telling him we need to talk, but he said he was tired and needed to sleep which just made me angry because I was serious.
I told him half way up the stairs that I knew about him and Laura to which he then looked at me confused. I explained my side and the text and what it seemed like and he ended up laughing in my face. This filled me up with so much petty rage because I have had enough of being walked on so I pushed past him into our room and got a suitcase from under the bed and started to pack his stuff for him.
He started shouting at me saying really horrible things, but I didn't hear most of it since I was crying uncontrollably and busy ramming every item of clothing he owned. Most of it didn't fit but he could come collect it later. One insult that stood out to me was 'Crazy b%$ch' and this is where I snapped and said some horrible things too. I know I called him a bad husband but in more of a ruder tone.
He ended up leaving with his suitcase I packed and a plastic bag after I said I would get my dad involved if he didnt leave. After, I took a recommendation from the comments and told my family everything. My brother didn't care but my father was so angry there might have been steam coming from the phone after the call.
I haven't heard from my soon to be ex-husband but his response to my question was complete disrespect and I wasn't able to hold it in for much longer. I'm sure what I did was a complete over reaction and was regretting it till I texted Laura's mother since I said I would do that.
She didn't reply till 11am but basically what happened is that she only met my husband 2 years ago which I'm guessing is through the time of constant 'overtime' from him he is also staying there currently. This made me so angry that I texted Laura something petty which I dont regret.
I hadn't replied to her yet so I told her that she can have him and I can't wait till the same things happen to her and she gets cheated on. She's not replied yet or seen it. I have screenshotted everything she's said and the picture and will be calling a lawyer later on. Nothing else has really happened, if it does I will give another update. Thanks everyone.
Edit: Sorry for bad grammar I've not slept very well and I'm about to go for a long needed sleep.
Small update: Husband messaged and I ignored it and Laura left me on read. Husband messaged that he is sorry and wants to come home and needs to talk about Laura's message.
Not sure what he's going to say about it but I'm going to message him back to meet me somewhere because I don't want him in my house right now. Not sure what he's going to say but I'm ready for the lies and gaslighting. Love you all :).
Edit: I'm really dissapointed in the internet. I thought this could be a post to vent and have men and woman help and give advice and listen to me so I can finially feel like I'm being heard and I'm getting a lot of sexist comments and people spamming me saying I'm scummy for lying .
If you are one of these people please leave me alone. Yes I have left out some information and I'm not updating immediately but I've been so tired these past 2 days and I really do not have the ability nor resistance to keep typing up massive updates.
I need a rest and when I meet my husband I will give one last update for the people who are supporting me and giving me amazing advice. You guys are so sweet and I appreciate you a lot. ❤
I took some time off of work to figure stuff out but I'm not looking forward to the amount piled up from my missed day's. Love you all and I wish you all the best especially for the people that went through what I am going through now.
amayarabastos wrote:
When Laura realizes OP is the one with the money, I would want to se her face 😂.
MaryAnne0601 wrote:
She may not even be pregnant.
owlsandmoths said:
This. One of my buddies dated a girl who texted him photos of a positive pregnancy test after he tried to breakup. Girl was dumb and literally used the first photo from Google.
OP should put that picture into a reverse image search to make sure it’s not just a Google photo sent to infuriate you
Money-Juggernaut-662 OP responded:
I did that and it was no match, I used tin eye I'm not sure if it's accurate but it didn't give me any results.
BigPooper20 writes:
Open a separate bank account and get your paychecks over there. Seriously.
I have no idea how to start this, I'm at a loss for words and I feel generally sick and this is the lowest point I think I've recently hit mental state wise. I'm going to try and be punctual for this but I cannot stop crying and I feel so betrayed. Thank you all for the support and love you have given me and so for this it has motivated me to tell everyone what has happened.
Laura called me early in the morning not sure why so late, but I wasn't doing much anyway, I was replying to comments and cleaning the kitchen swallowing in self pity, pathetic I know.
She was shouting at me; calling me 'Out' for cheating on my husband first and that my hypocrisy was laughable. I was genuinely mortified since i've never done that and asked her what she meant and apparently my 'Husband' the man thats supposed to back me up and love me unconditionally told her a huge sob story lie.
Apparently in our argument he told her I hit him out of a jealous rage and that I threw his stuff out the window which is why he left. I told her I was the one to kick him out and he didn't leave on his own accord and definetly never laid hands on him especially since he is 6'1 and I am 5'4.
She didn't believe me and told me the whole reason she had done the behaviour in the first place was to teach me not to 'cheat' and that my husband was a good man and that if I continued, another woman would take him better than me but in the end she decided to end it for him so she sent me the messages.
She agreed what she did was childish and also confessed to only liking him platonically and did him a favour because of all the horrible stuff I had done. I believe this was so she would take him in? I have no clue why he would lie about stuff this serious.
After he was there for a while she told her mother the same story he told her and her mother has blocked me currently. I showed her the message my husband sent and after countless back and forth with her, we ended up agreeing to meet and that I should cancel meeting up with my husband.
She's at this point in time conflicted since I told her the lies were fake. She also said that my husband told her that I knew about her after she saw him and me on a Facebook post. I'm guessing she did some snooping and my husband wasn't very private online. So she asked why I never was mentioned and he said the conversation never came up and that's where the lies began I'm guessing.
The day where he didn't come home till 5 was because she told him that she was going to send the picture of her friends old pregnancy test to me and pretend it's hers so he could not continue with being treated like that. And he actually went to hers instead of going home to be confronted and hoped it would all blowover in the morning.
Laura also confessed that he tried to intice her into [sleeping with him] which she said no to, and thought it was a little odd. I'm guessing this caused her to call me since that moment was a red flag to her and was still on his side but wanted to hear my side before she blocked me.
I want nothing to do with him and even the thought of him fills me up with hate. I've never met a man so disgusting. I never have once laid hands on my husband and the allegations completely disrespect people who are actually stuck in those spousal situations. I don't know how much more I can put up with this and everything is really getting to me.
I'm genuinely sick and WILL certainly not be meeting him and want nothing to do with him. But hopefully meeting Laura to properly explain the truth. I doubt anything else interesting will happen, just boring legal stuff. If it does I most likely won't make another update since im feeling mentally drained. Thank you everyone.
Edit: Given up with trying to block people who are trolls just going to reply to them and hope they delete their comments or don't reply anymore. ❤
CoffeeAndCats2000 writes:
Laura is not your friend. Laura is trash. Laura willingly engaging in the emotional abuse of you.. Why explains anything to her. She is nothing. Who cares about his lies. Go see a divorce a lawyer.
Cupcake2die4 writes:
I'm voting for both of them being liars. I have little faith in people doing anything that doesn't directly benefit them. Maybe Laura wants OP to take her in and play all her bills now. Since the husband doesn't have any money . . .
DimTimfromKew writes:
OP, I get that you want to see what is down this rabbit hole but really there is no point. Why do you care what Laura thinks or believes? Why care about the mother? There is nothing to see down this rabbit hole except more mangy rabbits.
For you, the best thing you can possibly do right now is just block them all and put yourself as far away from this whole debacle as you possibly can. It's like the old saying 'not my monkeys, not my circus'. This is no longer your circus and all you are doing is entertaining the monkeys.
It serves no purpose except to hold you down with them. Just hand it to the lawyers, tell them what you want (him out of your life and as much left in your hands as humanly possible so that you can start over) and wipe them all from your memory banks.
Because once the D is done you will never have to hear or see or hopefully even think about the traveling circus and it's inhabitants that your husband happily bought into your lives.