'My wife cheated on me while I was on a camping trip and is claiming it's not her fault.' UPDATED 2X

"My wife cheated on me and says it’s not her fault."

This past weekend the kiddo and I went on a two day camping trip for some father-son bonding time. My wife doesn’t like camping herself at all anymore and doesn’t even appreciate our kid and I going. This is a big hobby for me and I want to share with my son. Usually we argue a lot about my trips especially if I request to bring our child, but this time she was oddly cooperative about the whole thing,

but still insisted she wouldn’t join us. I was surprised but didn’t question anything because I was so excited that she was finally allowing us to go and I didn’t want her to change her mind. I thought we had finally found a common ground and the arguments were ending! I was wrong.

We had a great trip and returned back on Monday. We expected to come home to an empty house as my wife should have been at her office for a few more hours. I walked the kid up to his room as he was exhausted and ready for a nap. After, I walked into our bedroom to find an unclothed man in my bed. I recognized him as my wife’s coworker whom I have met numerous times at her work functions.

At first I was in disbelief and even wondered if I was in the right house. Then my wife walked out of our bathroom, also clothesless, and I had no more doubts. She looked petrified when she saw me. I have never been so angry. I yelled at the dude to get out of my house so I could speak to my wife. He grabbed his clothes and left. Then we started arguing.

I never yell at my wife, we always want to keep things civil for our son but I was so hurt I was screaming. Then my wife decides to get defensive saying it’s not her fault that I am barely around and camp so much, even though I hardly go on trips anymore because she doesn’t like it. She says “that’s what drove me to do this, your neglect to this family.” I was in tears at that point.

I just don’t understand how her cheating could be my fault. When I turned around to leave my son was standing in the doorway and I felt terrible for yelling. I quickly consoled him but my wife snapped at me again telling me to get my hands off him. Now she won’t speak to me and says I can’t see MY child until I apologize. Apologize for what? She said we could go on this trip.

She planned to cheat and that kills me. It makes me wonder if she has done this before. I’m stuck staying with my parents right now. I don’t know what to do, I want to see my son. I’m worried I really scared my child and of course I would apologize to him, just not my wife but maybe it is my fault.

Update: I’m back home now, decided it was best to get here ASAP. Things are quiet but I’m relieved to be back in the same space as my son. Thank you all for the advice and kind words, it means so much. I’ll keep you all updated if you’d like.

Edit: Thank you all again for the support, I appreciate it :) sorry I can’t reply to everyone there’s a lot of you and things are tough right now. But thank you so much.

Edit: In case of any confusion, I am Canadian.

This is a follow up to my last post about my cheating wife:

For the past week, I have been working with a lawyer to initiate the process of divorce and gaining full custody of my son, with the exception of visitation for now until more is resolved.

Things were awkward and tense for the first few days of me being back home, so my wife, using “wife” to keep things simple and identities private, decided to leave to stay with the guy I found in my bedroom with her. I’m disappointed at the example she’s setting for our son, but this makes my decision to divorce even more concrete.

I will continue to share as much as I can if that’s what people would like, but of course court has its confidentialities that I must keep within boundaries of. I want to thank everyone for the continued support you all have shown me throughout this tough time in my life, I really do appreciate it.

Second and final update, "My (now) ex wife revealed she is pregnant with a man she cheated with and no longer wants to see our child."

This is another (and most likely final) update about my ex. See my past posts for more information if you’d like. I expected my last update to be the final post regarding my marriage, but this felt like a necessary thing to share. Last week I received several texts from my ex saying she was pregnant with an unknown man’s child. Obviously meaning she cheated with multiple other people

before the one I found out about. She said she plans to keep the baby and start a family with her coworker (other posts have context). She also mentioned that she wouldn’t be fighting me for custody of our son. I told her I would be willing to split the custody or at least keep visitation rights for the sake of the kiddo, but she insisted she didn’t care about that anymore.

I am honestly in awe. I’m shocked she has given up on everything about the family we had, but I am most hurt for my son. At the end of the day she isn’t worth wasting any more of my energy on. I have been spending every moment I can with my kid and will continue to do so. I’m starting to feel more like myself again and I can’t wait to get back into adventures and nature :)

I’d like to say a final thanks to everyone for the support and encouragement I will always be grateful for that.

Tobias out ✌️(for now)