"I got a text from husband by mistake that he was supposed to send to his affair partner."

I have been doing an online college for 3 years. Now the last 6 months is an internship where I had to relocate to the capital that is 5h train ride from where my husband and I live with our 2 y/o. I can only afford going home 2 weekends a month. we're saving to buy a house once I'm finished with my studies and landed a decent job.

Yesterday I got a very suspish text that said "No sleep over, early day tomorrow". wtf? I logged in my husbands iCloud. He has been sleeping with a friend of ours and the reason is that I'm not home to take care of his needs. He tells this fried over and over again that this is just physical, just as long as I'm not in town and that he loves me and isn't interest in her emotionally. She's a temporary solution.

I sent him the screenshots of my findings, and believe it or not I also have needs but instead of sneaking around behind his back with a mutual friend I introduced him to my temporary solution. I'm contemplating forwarding the screenshots to the woman and her husband too. I think we ll need to be on the same page. It's just fair isn't it?

This is what top commenters had to say:

Jo0306 said:

What did he say when you sent the screenshot of your findings? Tell the APs husband, he needs to know what his wife is up to. And as for your husband, you need to start making an exit plan.

And OP responded:

I haven't answered him yet. he is freaking out I guess. All he cares about now is that I don't sleep with someone. He hasn't texted about anything else

Babibiiii said:

Send the screenshots, I think it's fair to both you and the AP's husband, to know the truth. He's an a$$hole for thinking it's ok to sleep with her as long as he doesn't have feelings for her. You deserve better than his cheating ass.

moderately_neato said:

Tell him that you forgive him and it's all okay, as long as he stops sleeping with her (he probably won't). GET TESTED FOR STIs. Don't sleep with him again. (Tell him you "need time to get over it.")

Finish your internship, get a great job, get the kid established into day care somewhere, get a good lawyer, and then dump his ass and find a more loyal man. I know it sucks, I know it hurts. I'm sorry. But you're strong and you can do it.

HospitalAutomatic said:

At least send the screenshots to her so she know that you know. Are you considering to stay with him because I don’t understand that at all… you’ve only been gone about a month and he’s betrayed you like that. You should be looking to leave him

And OP responded:

I could send the screens to her yes. I don't know what I want to do. This is all so fresh

Three days after her original post, she shared this update:

So this is the update about my post from the other day, when my dear husband sent me a message that was purposed to be send to our mutual friend that he has been screwing for the past 3 weeks or so.

I'm back in my home town for the weekend but I'm staying at my parent's. I don't think I'm ready to be home yet, if ever, because I keep picturing them all over my home. God I hope they stayed away from my favorite chaise lounge! He wanted to talk before I went to mom. He said that he was sorry and that he loved me(naawww).

She never meant anything beyond the physical connection (How romantic!). He will never speak to her again (How nice of him!) He wants to work on our marriage and suggested counseling(Duh).

I told him that I was meeting a dude on Sunday and showed him his picture. He got very upset and started crying then arguing then threatening with divorce(how original!). I told him if that what he wanted then I totally understood but that I have needs.

When I saw mom I just started bawling my eyes out. First time I cried since everything. She was scared at first but I was too exhausted to start on the details so she got the coming attractions. She started crying too. Dad was right, I have inherited my moms flair for drama.

I just went and took a nap in her bed with my son and when I woke up she had made my favorite foods. We talked about the week that was and my plans. I sensed that she was getting agitated about me starting to hook up with city dudes but surprisingly enough she just said, it wouldn't be you if you didn't (should I be offended?)

Dear husband texted what I believe is his way of a compromise(?). He wants me to quit my internship because I could always do it next year. Instead we take this year off to work on our marriage and we could wait with the house and other dreams that we've planned. what a stellar guy. Yeah, I won't dignify his text with an answer.

I'm afraid we are kicking stepdad to the guest room tonight because my son and I are taking his place :) Sorry the post got long. Good night.

In a comment, OP shared some details about her date:

I met the tinder guy for dinner because I wanted to see if there's any chemistry, and we went to his place afterwards. When I got home my husband was waiting outside and the look on his face was exactly how I felt reading the texts with with his AP a week ago and it felt good! He was crying and saying that I have ruined our marriage. I told him that my tinder date meant as much as (her name) meant for him.

He told me that it was over. I know people won't agree with me here but I don't regret anything. I don't feel happier or sadder. Just that it's fairer now, you know what I mean?