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Woman discovers the guy she's dating is engaged, decides to tell his fiancée. UPDATED 2X

Woman discovers the guy she's dating is engaged, decides to tell his fiancée. UPDATED 2X


"Realized the man I’m currently with is cheating on his fiancée"

Here's the original post:

I’m currently lying next to a sleeping man in my hotel room, a surgeon I met a few weeks ago, and I just figured out that he’s engaged. Getting married in 2 weeks. And didn’t tell me. No mention of a fiancée at all. In fact, he told me a few hours ago that he was going to visit family on the east coast in two weeks…no mention of a wedding in Cancun in 13 days.

He has been using a fake name with me (I had suspected this for a while) but I saw his real name on his Tesla screen while we drove to dinner earlier in evening. It’s an unusual name, similar to the one he gave me, so it wasn’t hard to find him online. I searched his real name while in the bathroom about an hour ago,

while he was asleep and besides finding his LinkedIn and other social media, I found his wedding registry and wedding page. Should I tell his fiancée? I found her on Instagram and linkedin. To complicate things, we live about 2 hours away and I offered to visit him one day this weekend and said I would meet with clients in the area to make it a work trip, to justify the cost of a hotel etc.

He offered to pay for the hotel and initially I said it wasn’t necessary, as I make good money during my business trips but frankly, I’ve had some cancellations this weekend and won’t make quite enough to cover the 2 days at this relatively nice hotel. He spent over $100 on dinner for us but I kinda want to take him up on him paying for part of the hotel (just the one night he was here.).

Is that bad to do if I’m considering telling his fiancée later, after we part ways? I feel sick to my stomach about the whole thing. Have been up all night, unable to sleep. My plan is: pretend like nothing is wrong until we check out together (he made it clear he wants to check out of the hotel with me, most likely so he can pay),

text him after we’ve left and tell him what I know, message his fiancée on Instagram from a throwaway account (send screenshots of his Feeld profile), and of course never see him again. Does this make sense? I don’t want to confront him in person because I don’t know what he’s capable of.

Edit: This is getting even weirder. I looked up his Instagram and his fiancée is following him but he’s not following her. And her default pic is of her at her bachelorette party, posing with the words “bride to be.”

What do you think she should do? This is what top commenters had to say:

Steven-ape said:

Many people will advise you not to tell her, without any very specific reason why that would be a bad idea. And I think in practice, she will probably not thank you for the information, however irrational that may be. But I personally think that it is immoral not to inform a person of a danger they're in, and so you should absolutely tell her, provided that you feel safe to do so.

NotThingOne said:

I'd skip telling him what you know. That only gives him time to create a story to tell his fiancee about you and try to take control of the narrative. Go straight to her.

Alilbitey said:

If I were his fiance, I'd want to know before getting married. If she's ok with it, that's her informed consent to give.

Swiollvfer said:

"Should I tell his fiancé?" Yes, you should. As you said, do not confront him directly, just text the fiancée and tell her everything you told us here.

Edit: maybe take a picture with him just so you have evidence, denial is a strong thing.

She apparently took everyone's advice, because she later shared this mega update:

I told him I needed to go home early and he asked if he could take a shower before we left and I said that that was fine. I tried to be cordial but I’m sure my icy eyes gave me away. He seemed to get progressively more uncomfortable the longer we interacted. We walked down to the lobby together and then after offering to pay for my valet expenses (to which I said he didn’t need to worry about that).

he then said “see you later”, kissed me on the cheek, and went to get his car from valet. He then came back in once he found out that his valet was charged to my card and assured me he would pay me for that. I asked him if he has Venmo and he said he did so I said I’d send him my username (it’s not my real name.)

and then he left. Sooooooo I’m pretty sure I’m not gonna get reimbursed for any of the hotel or even his valet expense. I’ve made a fake Instagram account and will message his fiancée soon.

And she then shared this second even juicier update:

She was not consenting to this or aware of it. She handled it so gracefully, thanked me and told me I was a good person. I’m heartbroken for her and pretty pissed at him. She and I actually had a pretty long conversation after she confronted him. Apparently he told her this was his version of a bachelor party 🙄 she kicked him out of the house.

I encouraged her to dump his a$$, reminding her of her worth, and it seems like she might be moving in that direction, thank God. We actually seemed to get along so well that I kinda wish we could be friends lol.

And, just for sh!ts and giggles…I decided to get some closure/reclaim my power by sending him a venmo request for his portion of the valet. The funny thing is that last night at dinner, I had made a joke about him needing to repent (it’s a long story) without having any idea he was actually cheating on his fiancée.

So my venmo request said: “guess I was right about you needing to repent. Paying for the valet would be a step in the right direction but you’ve got a long way to go. Have fun in Cancun”. He eventually completed the request. I really didn’t expect him to, so now I’m kinda wishing I charged him for the hotel room for one night as well. Oh well.

Sources: Reddit
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