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Man 'scolds' GF for wearing bikini in front of religious family after he asked her not to.

Man 'scolds' GF for wearing bikini in front of religious family after he asked her not to.


Dating someone from a different culture can be an expansive and enriching experience, but there can also be hurdles. When you fundamentally disagree on basics of how you present yourself around family and your philosophies around clothing, conflict can quickly rear its head.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a man asked if he's wrong for telling his girlfriend she shouldn't wear a bikini in front of his family.

He wrote:

AITA for not letting my girlfriend wear a bikini in front of my family?

So me (26M) and my Girlfriend (22F) have been dating for around 2 years now. We've had our ups and downs but overall we have a great relationship, and I definitely see a future together! We really love and respect each other and connect well! But the thing is we come from different backgrounds. I come from a Muslim Background (I'm not 'that' religious tho) and she is White.

However, we have still made it work and our similarities are much more than our differences. Now my gf does like wearing a bit short clothing when out and about, which used to bother me at first and made me uncomfortable and we did have a few minor fights over it, but eventually I came to terms with it. However, recently an embarrassing situation happened.

There was a pool party at my cousin's house, and my parents were there too. I had recently introduced my gf to my parents as well, so this was a good time for to meet family and relatives. I specifically told her to please pack something more on the modest side, as my family would be there (and most women usually don't wear such revealing stuff in our culture).

She didn't give much of a response and just nodded. But what did I see in the pool? Her wearing a two-piece bikini (with kinda cheeky bottoms too)! Even one piece would've been more better, but nah she went all in this time! She was probably the one dressed most immodestly. No one said anything but afterwards, I was so embarrassed I couldn't show my face to my parents and all.

I did talk to her about it and scolded her a bit, and she told me 'She can wear whatever the hell she wants, whenever she wants.' I couldn't say anything afterwards. We've been quiet to each other for a while but slowly making up now. AITA?

People did not hold back on this topic.

Kellexx wrote:

YTA. She can indeed wear whatever she wants and it’s inappropriate for you to dictate otherwise or scold her about it.

Walktothebrook wrote:

ESH. Contrary to what you posted it does not sound like either of you respect the other. She should have been more conservative out of respect for you and you should not be embarrassed by her. Cross cultural relationships are hard. Wishing you luck.

CZ1988_ wrote:

'I...scolded her'

YTA BIG TIME. Any guy who states that he scolds his female companion and likes to show how he is the one in control is a big red flag AH.

No_Location_5565 wrote:

ESH. Dressing appropriately for the occasion seems to be a lost art. A pool party in a conservative Muslim home is different than a pool party at a hotel in Miami. It’s really not hard to be respectful of the situation. I recently traveled to a Muslim country, I didn’t have to be fully covered but I did make sure to dress more modestly than I would have at home, out of RESPECT for their culture.

Being embarrassed and “scolding” your GF for her choices is also not a great move. Further discussion beforehand to make sure you were both on the same page and okay with the situation could have prevented an issue here.

HP1029 wrote:

YTA. Your girlfriend is right. I’m curious though did your family actually have an issue with it? Because in your post you point out that they haven’t said anything so this seems more like a you problem. You also don’t get to force your religious or cultural beliefs onto others.

Personal-Listen-4941 wrote:

NTA. People wear clothing appropriate for the situation. You let her know what would be appropriate for that situation, she ignored you and possibly offended your family. She showed she doesn’t care about you or your family enough to not wear a bikini at their property.

AnyEntertainment4845 wrote:

ESH. YTA for scolding her. She’s TA for not respecting your culture. Are you sure you two are compatible?

Important_Device_816 wrote:

Obviously NTA. She went to your Muslim cousin's house. You told her what would be socially acceptable, and she decided that it wasn't important.

The only thing anyone on this thread can seem to agree on is that OP and his girlfriend seem less respectful of each other than they realize.

Sources: Reddit
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