17 people share stories of the fastest they've seen an employee quit or get fired.

Learning that new job isn't going to work during the first shift can be an awkward but hilarious experience for future first dates and dinner parties...

Watching your new coworker get fired for putting a Karen customer in a 'Time Out' on their first shift at the coffee shop isn't always in the employee handbook. So, when a Reddit user asked, 'What's the fastest you've seen someone quit or get fired?' people were ready to share the funniest, most surprising, or absolute worst ways they've witnessed a new employee bail on a job. Sorry, but it's against company policy to throw a party in walk-in freezer...

1.

10 years ago I had my first job at a call centre. We had to call random old people to sell them stuff they don't need. I really needed the money so I sat down and called my first number. A very nice old lady picked up and I just couldn't stick to the script they gave me.

We started talking about her grandkids and life in general. I didn't try to sell her anything. Instead I finished our phone call after more than an hour, stood up, left and never came back. - lordflip

2.

14 minutes. New welder hired, he was an older man with little experience, so they paired him with my 22 yr old daughter who had 4 years and was one of their best B Pressure Welders. She set him up with some welds to do and the guy said 'I ain't taking orders from any GIRL' - and walked out. LOL - atiera

3.

Worked in a bakery in high school, packing donuts and cookies and slicing bread, etc. Cake section was in our work area and one of the decorators was going on mat leave so they were hiring a replacement. New lady gets hired, takes one look at the work area (your standard industrial health standards conforming food prep area) and figures the place needs more new age good vibes.

The head baker comes in next morning (3am) and calls her before her shift starts to let her know that they won't be able to accommodate her work environment needs. She comes in for her shift, starts making like she's going to clean it up, and then paints 'f*ck you' in buttercream flourishes on the countertop before rolling out. - ickynay

4.

Got a pizza delivery job before the times of GPS. Very first delivery: Grabbed the pie and the manager goes, 'Do you know where you're going?!' Yeah of course, I've got a map. Learned at 16 that two different counties can have the exact same random a*s street names.

Got fired after arriving about two hours later and the customer flipping out. I told him I kept it warm by blasting the heat in my minivan... but he didn't find that very amusing. - herp___

5.

Couple of years ago I was working at Pizza Hut and had a new driver working. It was his first day and first delivery and he cut somebody off on the road and flipped then off...

The people that got cut off called the store and he managed to be the one that answered the phone, all I heard was 'go f**k yourself lady and your sh*tty driving'. He then walked out the back door and never came back. It was ~30 mins job for him - Totemsrus

6.

Didn't even finish signing the paperwork. We had interviewed someone, they'd passed through the interview, we were prepared to put them through a trial period... and when they were signing their paperwork, they asked 'So what kind of paperwork do I need to get my vacations? I'm going on a 4 month vacation starting in two weeks, that won't be a problem, right?' - phonomancer

7.

Me. I got hired to work in a small diner. The manager wanted me to come in the next day. I misunderstood and came in 2 days later. One of the workers was surprised I showed up and called the manager. I could here the manager yelling something. Told me to leave. - CrazyAsALoon

8.

I used to be a manager at one of the giant themeparks, and people were hired/fired like it was for fun. This one girl on her first hour just took off her shirt and left. - DatAmygdala

9.

When I was in college a friend and I were going to hang drywall. He supposedly knew how to do this. We had none of the right tools. We started working and after an hour the supervisor shows up. 'You boys are not gonna make any money doing this, get out of here.' Wherever you are, bless you man. - oldfartbart

10.

I got fired from a busboy job in high school after 4 hours. I was running around clearing tables and trying to keep up when this old lady kept asking me for matches. I kept telling her to please ask her waitress since I had no clue where they were.

She yelled at me. I forgot what it was but it pissed me off so I went to the front desk, found a big bowl of matches and dumped them in her lap. It was right then I realized I had no business dealing with the public. - RedBullTaco

11.

In High School, I got hired at Dairy Queen. I turned up for my first shift, and the manager went to the back to get my hat/shirt/name tag.

While I waited, a family friend who owned a furniture store came out of the bathroom, and when I told him that I was working at Dairy Queen he said, 'You don't want to work here. Come work for me instead.' I did. As soon as the manager returned, I quit. All told, I was there less than 15 minutes. - EarhornJones

12.

I got fired from Subway after 4 hours for putting too many olives on a sandwich. Art is not subjective when it's sandwiches, I guess. - fred_fred_burgerr

13.

New guy, first day on the job at the kennels... He was found out back sleeping in a makeshift bed he made out of all the empty dogfood bags. - Chillaxbro

14.

Hired a carpenter to work on a youth jail in a remote village in AK. Told him it was a secure facility and he would need to pass a background check, he said no problem. Put all the paperwork in, flew him out first thing Monday morning to start work. He's onsite less than 4 hours when the State Troopers roll up and arrest him for an outstanding warrant. Needless to say he was also fired. - foursheetstothewind

15.

In 2007, I took a job at a staffing company. Early in the morning on my first day, I received another/better job offer via phone. When I came back from taking that phone call outside, I came back in to my manager who looked very relieved. He thought I had left.

He told me the person who previously held my position went on a lunch break and never came back. As soon as he said that I knew my destiny. I took my lunch later that day, and vanished. - agnesiswitch

16.

A teenager was hired in the freezer department at the grocery store I use to work at, and after two hours of him stocking food in the freezer he walks up to me and says 'how do I quit?' I stood in silence for a second. Then I replied with 'just tell the manager you quit. Then he literally says 'because this is bullsh*t, I can make more money selling weed.' and I had a pretty good laugh - funkyj94

17.

Didn't even make it to his desk. I was working for a telcom company back in the day. My team was developing a self install program for cable modems. To tell you how long it was ago, the spec called for it to fit on a floppy disc just in case.

Anyways, I hired a new employee. Looked completely normal. Average guy. I walk him to his workstation. I tell him 'This will be your desk.' He just says 'nope' and walks back out. Would never explain why. I'm still confused sixteen years later. - bobroland