'AITA for telling my friend's best friend that her 'ugly' son looks exactly like her?' UPDATED

There are times when you simply must smack someone with a reality check, especially if they're surrounded by toxic yes-men.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she was wrong for telling her friend's best friend her "ugly" kids look exactly like her. She wrote:

"AITA for telling my friend's best friend that her son looks exactly like her?"

So, my friend Sarah has a best friend named Summer. So Summer nonstop tells everyone how ugly her baby daddy is and how it’s so unfortunate that her son looks like her baby daddy. Her son is about six years old and she recently had another son with a different man.

But the thing is this baby looks exactly like the Brother. The other day, when we were all hanging out, Summer in front of both of her boys says how unfortunate it is that her oldest son has a huge, ugly, goblin nose, like his dad. And how ugly her older son is in front of his face. So I told Summer that both of her sons look exactly like her.

(And a little backstory is Summer has a complex and think she is the best looking woman in the entire world.) Looked at me and called me a b#$ch and an AH because I said her ugly son looked like her. She was so upset. She told me to never compare her to her child again because her son could never be as good looking as her. So I called her an AH in front of her kids.

And my friend Sarah and their friends said I was being an insensitive jerk for telling Summer that she looks like her kids. Am I the AH? I thought I was just sticking up for the kids but I’m not sure if I should’ve went about this a different way.

Redditors had a lot of reactions to this scenario.

SmutDad wrote:

NTA.

That poor kid :(

Aulourie wrote:

This! Anyone who sits and listens to a woman crap talk their kids appearance at SIX is an AH. Six-year-olds are not stupid or oblivious. This kid is going to have so many issues. All of those friends are horrible people for sitting there listening to this foul woman bash her kid. NTA.

Comfortable-Cod8177 wrote:

LOL I love it! Also what kind of rude a** mother calls her kids ugly and compares them to goblins.

dearconstantreaders wrote:

NTA! Why are you friends with this girl? If she is saying that stuff to her kids right in front of their face, imagine what she is saying about you and other people behind your backs.

OP responded:

Definitely not her friend. She’s my friend's friend. She just is around us sometimes. But after this I am definitely not going to be around her again. Or anyone from that day again.

Dazzling-Health-5147 wrote:

NTA bit everyone who sits there letting her talk about her kid that way RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM sure is! It's a form of ab*se that, if it hasn't already, could leave her son with some awful issues surrounding his self esteem and future mental health - especially if he sees everyone sit there agreeing with her.

In honesty I think I would report it - fed, clothed and housed is not the standard for being a good parent, if she is bullying her own child this much in front of people there is a good chance she says even worse with nobody else around, and that needs to be addressed.

After receiving a lot of comments of support, OP jumped on with an update.

UPDATE: I am not friends with Summer. She just joins us every once in a while in the friend group. But I am currently not talking to any of them from that day. And before this day, I did tell Summer that it was very upsetting to call her child ugly. I was referred to as the ugly granddaughter my entire life, so I definitely understand how her kids will feel growing up.

The comments kept rolling in.

Grandmapatty64 wrote:

Well, if you’re an AH for saying it to her face like that, then perhaps she should say it behind her back to CPS. Can you imagine how horrible would be to hear your mother say that every day? That boy is being ab*sed.

grlz2grlz wrote:

I wonder if anyone can call CPS on that, the fact she is so verbally ab*sive to him, it’s heartbreaking. You did the best you could but maybe better choice of words would have been why do you call him ugly when he looks exactly like you. But I understand that’s what you meant.

That poor child and for nobody to intervene? Besides she’s the one that chose to be with the kid's father and the kid didn’t ask to be born with such a horrible mother.

DateSignificant7741 wrote:

So it’s insensitive to call her ugly and call her out but she’s not insensitive (and many would say a straight up a**hole) for calling her own son ugly?

Like they need to get a grip and defend that poor child who will grow to hate themselves, cuz why wouldn’t they if their own mother hates their looks? NTA thank you for saying what had to be said. But maybe try gently telling ur friends that what she’s doing is ab*sive.

readingmyshampoo wrote:

"I was gonna say he looks just like you, but actually he's a good looking person, so clearly not like you." NTA.

cassowary32 wrote:

NTA. Why did Sarah sleep with an unattractive goblin? And carry his progeny to term? Isn't that a self own?

There is no universe in which OP is TA in this situation.