Woman snaps at wife for replacing anniversary painting with Christian sister's drawing.

Getting along with a partner's family makes everything 8000 times easier, but it's easier said than done.

Regardless of how much they profess to love them, it can be hard to watch a partner prioritize family members over you when you've seen how they hurt them. But ultimately, each adult has to choose their relational priorities for themselves.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she's wrong for snapping at her taking down an anniversary painting and replacing it with her sister's drawing.

She wrote:

AITA for yelling at my wife for taking down a special anniversary painting I bought her so she could display her sister's basic drawing?

Hey y’all. This is such a long story. It I will try to be brief and clear and get to the point. My wife of 5 years is a huge fan of Calvin and Hobbes. She has been since she was a teenager (she’s 43 now). She and I have had a lot of issues in the past because she (in the past before marriage while we were dating) would alway prioritize her family (siblings and parents) instead of our relationship.

Fast forward a lot of counseling, time, and miles, and here we are. For our anniversary, I bought her a special one-of-a-kind, original painting (it’s 1/1) that we keep hanging in our bedroom. It’s special because it is symbolic of each of us waiting for the time/place that we found each other (we found each other later in life; 36 and 31).

Fast forward to tonight. I walk upstairs and I see that our painting is laying on one of our dressers and hung in its place, is one of her sister's paintings. She apparently painted this piece recently so that it could hang in the bedroom over our 10-month old. A little bit of context — we have two kids a 2.5 yr old and a 10-month-old.

My wife had a previous Calvin and Hobbes painting that her sister did and it hangs in our 2.5-year-olds' room (despite me voicing my disapproval). After confronting my wife, she said that she wanted to treat the boys the same so her sister painted another pic for our youngest son. AITA for being mad that she took down our painting to display her sister's?

My wife claims that she “just wanted to remember her young years for a night” and that she was planning on putting the drawing in our son's room in the morning and our painting back up on the wall. I am furious and told here that again she is picking her family over me. Out of all the possible places to hang this piece, she took down a special sentimental piece? WTF? Am I overreacting?

Edit: we are both female, adding this information based on some feedback in the comment section. Someone asked me why I didn’t get along with her family (or something along those lines) this is what I responded:

She has so many other paintings her sister has made for her or gifted her scattered throughout the house (including our bedroom) it was just this particular location that was kinda our little 'altar' and it felt special to me too (because of the verbal feedback she'd given in the past).

To answer your question, I don't get along with her family because they are fundamentalist Christians, and being a lesbian is a problem for them. They consistently hurt her and tell her they love her but can't condone the behavior or some other nonsense. I have examples for days but for the sake of brevity, I'll stop there.

And, I've said this before but I am the one who doesn't want a relationship with them, she and our kids can if she wants to and if she wants her family to have a relationship with the kids.

The internet shared all their hot takes.

jrm1102 wrote:

YTA - She was switching around the wall decor and you’re projecting the issues you have with her family onto this.

PinkMermicorn wrote:

YTA, have you guys been in counseling because you try to cut her off from her family and she sees this as the obvious red flag that it is? She wanted to put a picture up for 1 night and you can't suck it up for 1 night? Isn't it her room too? You sound very controlling.

goatshepherd20981 wrote:

NTA - I feel like opinions really change when they realize the OP is also female, which is disgusting and shame on all of you. I think this image is more so of the nature “straw that broke the camel’s back”. It is clear throughout that it is the OP consistently compromising to wife’s demands, and the wife who feels the need to never validate her partner’s opinion.

The OP specifically bought a beautiful painting symbolic of their relationship, and the partner decided to more symbolically remove that painting in their own room - which should be dedicated to their space - and hang another picture of her sister’s which are already all over the house. Who changes a painting for one night?

Don’t be silly, this was clearly the wife deciding to take charge without her partner’s input in any capacity and involve more of her family’s marks left right and centre, when any decor and decisions about the house should be a joint decision and joint discussion, not singular decisions with constant compromise from one partner and the other constantly getting the decor they want around.

I also wouldn’t want paintings from my wife’s evangelical, prejudiced sister all over my house, let alone replacing a painting I dedicated money and care to so as to represent our relationship as a gift.

Annii84 wrote:

YTA. You’re blowing this so much out of proportion that clearly it’s not about paintings but about you having unresolved issues with your wife’s family/sister. Seems like you need to go back to therapy so you can sort out why you feel threatened by your sister-in-law.

Edit: After you added more info (that should have been in the original post), I can understand a bit more where you’re coming from, but I still maintain my original judgment in this particular situation. You two need to keep working on your relationship and unresolved feelings about her family, since apparently your wife has no intention of cutting them off.

jeff428 wrote:

ESH. I think you definitely are overreacting and should really try to understand that different people value different things in different amounts. And it turns out that she clearly values her family a great deal, you need to understand that, and that you cannot change it, no matter how much you don't like it.

If you love her you need to accept this and let it go. it doesn't make you, or your relationship, or your painting any less special. However, I do think she was also a bit inconsiderate. if it's true you've had years of counseling as a couple, I think she could've also realized that this probably meant a lot for you too and could've taken your feelings a bit more into consideration.

Like talking about it beforehand to gauge your opinion or try to express how much it means for her, or she could've also chosen a different spot to hang it without having to replace where yours was. Either way, you both seem like you need to be more understanding of each other and willing to make ends meet. Good luck.

Clearly, the internet can't agree on this one, particularly after OP added the edits with more context. One thing does seem clear though, and it's that they both need to have some serious discussions about why this is such a trigger.