"My brother's GF faked her pregnancy for 9 months."

I don’t even know where to begin. I feel like I’m living a lifetime movie right now or having a fever dream. In December my brother broke up with his girlfriend, they had been together about 6 months but she was worlds better than his (no longer in recovery) addict ex. In January he decided to get back together with her after realizing she was pregnant.

I had a sickening suspicion.. what perfect timing. But thought, no way. Their first appointment and ultrasound kept getting delayed. Being pregnant at the time (my second) again, I thought this was strange and suspicious.. but didn’t want to put that thought into my brothers head… finally they had their first appointment and confirmed everything.. so i thought.

At this point my suspicions faded. I mean they had an ultrasound and heard a heartbeat. Fast forward to future appointments, their anatomy scan etc. alarm bells dinged but not loudly. Their anatomy scan was pushed back because of scheduling but eventually they had it and everything looked good. I wish I could go back and ask more questions. Ask my BROTHER questions.

But I realize now I talked more to his GF about things bc she was reaching out to me. So many red flags i see now I ignored. They were due last week. And “scheduled for an induction” this past Friday.. pushed to Saturday .. no beds available still so to Sunday. I thought that it still made sense bc my own induction took time to get in and recent storms in the area may have led to overflow into their hospital.

They were finally set to go in this morning at 10 am (Monday) Bags were packed, carseat installed. Etc. they called me around 8:30 anxious but excited. Then at 3 my brother called me. “She lied” he said. Dumbfounded, I asked what he meant. And my absolute worst fears came true.

He explained that she said she miscarried after the first appointment and didn’t know how to tell anyone. I had talked with her countless times about my own pregnancy and experience. Planned their gender reveal. Made a hotel reservation to come see them (with my toddler & newborn) I cant event put into words my feelings of grief and anger.

WHO DOES THIS? Who lies about a baby & pregnancy for 9 months?? How can I be there for my brother? How can I ensure he deals with his own trauma and grief. I am so scared of him spiraling and i don’t know what i can do. I also dont know how to even explain this to friend and clients. I’ve been so excited to become an aunt and for our babies to be so close in age.

I just dont know how we move past this. And again HOW does someone do this? Any advice or kind words would be so appreciated. Hell even telling me I was stupid to ignore the red flags would be appreciated at this point. I'm so numb.

Commenters weighed in to share their advice and insight:

Hot-Sky-4922 said:

It’s hard to process such a betrayal, especially when you were excited about becoming an aunt. Just be there for your brother, listen to him and help him navigate his feelings. It’s okay to feel confused and angry; those feelings are valid.

corgi-king said:

Just give your brother a big hug and tell him you are here to listen.

RedneckDebutante said:

Your brother is just as confused, probably mixed with a heavy dose of embarrassment and anger. You listen to him as much as he needs it. You reassure him that she fooled you all, and his feelings of betrayal are real.

You offer to contact any people he wants told and convey whatever story he feels most comfortable with. Invite him over or out to do something distracting if he needs to clear his head. (Probably best without kids.) You can't fix this for him, but you can be his comfort.

werewere-kokako said:

My best friend of eight years pretended to have terminal cancer while robbing me blind. It’s not the same, but similar enough, I guess. Your brother will probably want to know why. Why him? Why this particular lie? Why drag it out for so long? Someone capable of doing this will never give him the closure that he needs, so he will have to find a way forward without those answers.

Your brother will probably find it difficult to trust people again after this, especially if he is allowed to isolate himself while he grieves. Don’t be overbearing or smother him, but don’t let him withdraw from social contact either. I withdrew friends and family while I licked my wounds and I’ve never really come back from that.

This is going to be a really complicated loss to grieve. He essentially lost his gf and child, but nobody actually died. No body, no funeral, and no cultural script he can follow while he mourns.

She later shared this update and added some further info.:

My brother didn’t go to any appointments, he dropped her off and she said bc she was medicaid she couldn’t have a partner there if they were not married. I thought he was going into the appointments.

They did not go to the hospital, she ended up coming clean 8 days or so after her due date. To him and a couple friend they have from church. My brother is currently focused on getting her into a crisis center. She lied to EVERYONE, her family included. Her mom told my brother shes lied before, not about this/to this level.

They had a baby shower. They did the sneak peak gender reveal. It came back girl, which would occur in someone who was not actually pregnant. She had what looked like a belly - in pictures. I havent seen them in 5 months due to having my own baby and being in separate cities.

My assumption on kicks is she would tell him she was feeling them and try to get him to feel them. I know before i was pregnant when friends would be like “feel their kick!” Sometimes i would say i can feel it when i couldn’t.

I have a suspicion there may not have been a baby, but treating it as if there was.

Im going to absolutely be there for him, but I don’t think i can be there for her. Ive blocked her. At least for now

Second update:

Those saying I am too involved must not have close siblings. My brother has had medical issues that led to being told he may not be able to have children. This was a dream come true and we all clung to it. Again who tf would lie about this.. he didn’t get yo go to appointments bc of “scheduling issues” and more lies from her.

She had a belly, if you’ve never felt a baby kick you don’t exactly know what you’re looking for. He said their relationship has been strained. And they hadn’t even been intimate in months. This had also been confirmed months ago when she said he didn’t want to hurt the baby. Do I think he dodged a bullet. Absolutely. But I still mourn for him and our family.